SianMax

@sianmax
Community Voices

I don't know how to get better (BPD)

I just don't know where to turn and I feel like no one is out there to help me.

I was diagnosed with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) in 2019. I was unable to receive any support as my relationship at the time broke down and I had to move home to another area of London.

In London, if you move to another area of London, you are unable to receive the support you had. Or so I have often been told by Drs.

Since moving, I have been unsuccessful in finding support for therapy or medication. I have once again moved home (Renting in London means you frequently move home) and I am, once again, restarting my process for finding help.

I feel like the whole mental health system is gaslighting me haha! But seriously, I often question if I am making it all up? do I actually feel bad? If no one else see's that I need help, does that mean there is nothing wrong?

I am being on anti-depressants that have not worked for me in the past, even thought it has been established that I should instead be on mood stabilizers.

I have been denied support for Talking Therapy Bromley and Oxleas CMHS in Bromley. I had to Change GP and now they are putting me back to the exact same people who have denied me. It feels like a endless circle of disappointment and rejection. I do not have the privilege of paying for my own therapy.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I spend hour crying and feeling abandoned and rejected. I feel like no one could ever understand how I feel because BPD is wild and my emotions are so intense and strong. I also feel like I'm just not worth the time or effort, and that I deserve the neglect that I am receiving.

I don't know how many times I have called every single helpline available: Mind, Samaritans, 111, 999 etc... but nothing.

If anyone has anything, anything at all that could help me, please let me know. I feel myself deteriorating. I feel more depressed than ever. My panic attacks are returning. My scratching and self harm are getting worse. I am struggling with work. I just don't know what to do.

Please, If anyone can help. I need it.

7 people are talking about this
Community Voices

I don't know how to get better (BPD)

I just don't know where to turn and I feel like no one is out there to help me.

I was diagnosed with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) in 2019. I was unable to receive any support as my relationship at the time broke down and I had to move home to another area of London.

In London, if you move to another area of London, you are unable to receive the support you had. Or so I have often been told by Drs.

Since moving, I have been unsuccessful in finding support for therapy or medication. I have once again moved home (Renting in London means you frequently move home) and I am, once again, restarting my process for finding help.

I feel like the whole mental health system is gaslighting me haha! But seriously, I often question if I am making it all up? do I actually feel bad? If no one else see's that I need help, does that mean there is nothing wrong?

I am being on anti-depressants that have not worked for me in the past, even thought it has been established that I should instead be on mood stabilizers.

I have been denied support for Talking Therapy Bromley and Oxleas CMHS in Bromley. I had to Change GP and now they are putting me back to the exact same people who have denied me. It feels like a endless circle of disappointment and rejection. I do not have the privilege of paying for my own therapy.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I spend hour crying and feeling abandoned and rejected. I feel like no one could ever understand how I feel because BPD is wild and my emotions are so intense and strong. I also feel like I'm just not worth the time or effort, and that I deserve the neglect that I am receiving.

I don't know how many times I have called every single helpline available: Mind, Samaritans, 111, 999 etc... but nothing.

If anyone has anything, anything at all that could help me, please let me know. I feel myself deteriorating. I feel more depressed than ever. My panic attacks are returning. My scratching and self harm are getting worse. I am struggling with work. I just don't know what to do.

Please, If anyone can help. I need it.

7 people are talking about this
Community Voices

I don't know how to get better (BPD)

I just don't know where to turn and I feel like no one is out there to help me.

I was diagnosed with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) in 2019. I was unable to receive any support as my relationship at the time broke down and I had to move home to another area of London.

In London, if you move to another area of London, you are unable to receive the support you had. Or so I have often been told by Drs.

Since moving, I have been unsuccessful in finding support for therapy or medication. I have once again moved home (Renting in London means you frequently move home) and I am, once again, restarting my process for finding help.

I feel like the whole mental health system is gaslighting me haha! But seriously, I often question if I am making it all up? do I actually feel bad? If no one else see's that I need help, does that mean there is nothing wrong?

I am being on anti-depressants that have not worked for me in the past, even thought it has been established that I should instead be on mood stabilizers.

I have been denied support for Talking Therapy Bromley and Oxleas CMHS in Bromley. I had to Change GP and now they are putting me back to the exact same people who have denied me. It feels like a endless circle of disappointment and rejection. I do not have the privilege of paying for my own therapy.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I spend hour crying and feeling abandoned and rejected. I feel like no one could ever understand how I feel because BPD is wild and my emotions are so intense and strong. I also feel like I'm just not worth the time or effort, and that I deserve the neglect that I am receiving.

I don't know how many times I have called every single helpline available: Mind, Samaritans, 111, 999 etc... but nothing.

If anyone has anything, anything at all that could help me, please let me know. I feel myself deteriorating. I feel more depressed than ever. My panic attacks are returning. My scratching and self harm are getting worse. I am struggling with work. I just don't know what to do.

Please, If anyone can help. I need it.

Community Voices