SleepyMama

@sleepymama
I'm a wife and mother of two bright and beautiful children. I also have several chronic illnesses including narcolepsy with cataplexy (or type 1), fibromyalgia, chronic migraine, pulmonary sarcoidosis (thankfully in remission right now), hidradenitis suppurativa (HS), asthma, scoliosis, TMJ, high blood pressure, and clinical depression.
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I really hope it's over.

Yesterday I did a brave thing.

I told a male friend that the way he spoke to me online was inappropriate especially as I had previously asked him to not sexualize me or our conversation. I told him I need some time and space. I expected the worst but was surprised to get a message taking responsibility for his actions and apologising for them.

I breathed a sigh of relief. Then I got the second message, then the third. Messages telling me how bad his life is, saying how much he has done for me, how he is always a friend, never a lover, despite the fact he has a long term partner. He says if I don't contact him, he will know to stay away and I won't hear from him again. I feel pushed into a corner, I know he thinks I will definitely contact him. I don't.

Today I did a brave thing.

He changed his profile picture to the gift I gave him for Christmas. I feel like he is forcing himself into my world. Communicating with me, without communicating. I ignore it. He posts on my wall. A deep message announcing my virtues and how much I mean to him. I feel like he has staked his claim publicly. I remove the post.

He messages again, and again. I am discarding him now I am better (I'm really not better), he has supported me, he loves me, would do anything for me, I am shutting him out, he insists I tell him what is happening.

I tell him the friendship is over and block him. It hurts like hell. I am angry because he has not only cost himself a friend but me too. If only he knew what it cost me to end it. Weighing up my self-respect against keeping the only person who really talks to me.

I feel bad for hurting him even though he did not feel bad talking about the most intimate parts of my body or discussing dreams he had of us doing sexual things together. Over and over. I have done the right thing. I have done the brave thing. I am lonely.

#Fibromyalgia #BipolarDisorder #Anxiety #Depression #SuicidalThoughts

40 people are talking about this
Community Voices

I really hope it's over.

Yesterday I did a brave thing.

I told a male friend that the way he spoke to me online was inappropriate especially as I had previously asked him to not sexualize me or our conversation. I told him I need some time and space. I expected the worst but was surprised to get a message taking responsibility for his actions and apologising for them.

I breathed a sigh of relief. Then I got the second message, then the third. Messages telling me how bad his life is, saying how much he has done for me, how he is always a friend, never a lover, despite the fact he has a long term partner. He says if I don't contact him, he will know to stay away and I won't hear from him again. I feel pushed into a corner, I know he thinks I will definitely contact him. I don't.

Today I did a brave thing.

He changed his profile picture to the gift I gave him for Christmas. I feel like he is forcing himself into my world. Communicating with me, without communicating. I ignore it. He posts on my wall. A deep message announcing my virtues and how much I mean to him. I feel like he has staked his claim publicly. I remove the post.

He messages again, and again. I am discarding him now I am better (I'm really not better), he has supported me, he loves me, would do anything for me, I am shutting him out, he insists I tell him what is happening.

I tell him the friendship is over and block him. It hurts like hell. I am angry because he has not only cost himself a friend but me too. If only he knew what it cost me to end it. Weighing up my self-respect against keeping the only person who really talks to me.

I feel bad for hurting him even though he did not feel bad talking about the most intimate parts of my body or discussing dreams he had of us doing sexual things together. Over and over. I have done the right thing. I have done the brave thing. I am lonely.

#Fibromyalgia #BipolarDisorder #Anxiety #Depression #SuicidalThoughts

40 people are talking about this
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"But you don't look sick"

<p>"But you don't look sick"</p>
2 people are talking about this
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New here and needing support

Hi everyone - this is my first post on this app and I’m still trying to figure out how it all works. Lately my health, physical and mental, have just been a lot to handle. Even on days my physical health is doing okay, I just feel so mentally drained and alone. I live with my boyfriend and he is incredibly supportive, but other than that I feel as if I have no true friends or people who care about my health. I eventually want to write about my experiences but I have hardly any motivation lately. Looking for support and would love to meet some new people on here ♥️

#Narcolepsy #MTHFRMutation #Anxiety #Depression #ChronicIllness #RareDisease #CheckInWithMe #MedicalPtsd

25 people are talking about this
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