Anne Morris

@teamvic
Hello , The Mighty has been such a great place to remind me I am not alone and that none of us are alone. I also realize that somedays I have ugly thoughts ,and other people here lift me up or share that they too have felt the same. I have stage IV Breast Cancer. I have beat the odds on my life expectancy and am so thankful. At this point I have reached the end of “care” medically speaking. My choices were more Chemotherapy or live as they say with the choice “quality vs. quantity” I choose quality. I will not give in to chemotherapy again. It is an important treatment ,but I have done it, Five months of infusions, throwing up, sleeping days away, missing out on time with my girls because of it.Also many rounds of radiation &surgeries including a hip replacement, other physical slow downs here and there. Luckily my oncologist found an oral chemo to try! I do not have to sit at the infusion center for hours.I do get nauseaous but not too bad. I have had few side effects lost very little hair.I am hoping this drug is working and slowing the cancer down. Because my cancer metastasized to my bones I am limited to doing some things. I have broken my sacrum, it collapsed due to bone mets,that led me to rehab. I had to learn to walk AGAIN,then more back surgery also. Currently my clavicle, and a tumor on the back of my neck have been radiated to help with pain. I never had a mastectomy because when I was diagnosed my back was so consumed with metastatic spots it made no logical sense. The cancer was setting up camp everywhere so why do a difficult surgery to add to a body trying to fight already. Right now my ribs are deteriorating and two are broken, that is quite painful ( Side sleeping is tricky LOL). The other groups besides #cancer, include #depression, #anxiety #griefoversuicideloss, I have been dealing with depression on and off through my cancer treatments. Anxiety is tough to shake,it hits me at the strangest times, I don’t take medication for anxiety , but try to recognize the feeling of an “attack” headed my way. The loss of my husband due to suicide is something I’ve dealt with for about the length of my cancer diagnosis. He couldn’t handle the disease and the way it slowed me down. I look back now and sometimes want to lose it, “he couldn’t handle it” a bit confusing for me to understand, after a lot of therapy I recognize I carried all his emotional baggage even at my weakest physically and mentally. He was kind and tried as hard as he could, we both just walked through life events differently. Every so often the pain of his suicide is right in my face.The picture is imprinted in my mind the night a sheriff knocked on my door. I do have a therapist and I do try to live in the moment. I will continue to thank my body and brain for focusing on healing and strength. I will not give up.
Community Voices
Jamie

☝🏻Be kind!

<p>☝🏻Be kind!</p>
12 people are talking about this
Community Voices

WHAT is insomnia?Im in a stage IV cancer.I rarely sleep more than three hours , in the quiet if the night that’s when my memories of when I used to hike the trails around Lake Tahoe, or when I could
Work, meeting children that needed help and guidance, I wake up missing my old life. Usually it’s the pain at night in my bones that does nothing to allow for me sleep.
My Doctor has my Insomnia listed as A Mental Disorder. Is it? Or is it a side effect of chronic pain from metestatic breast cancer? #painwarrior #MetastaticBreastCancer # #Insomniac #I need sleep 😴

10 people are talking about this
Community Voices

WHAT is insomnia?Im in a stage IV cancer.I rarely sleep more than three hours , in the quiet if the night that’s when my memories of when I used to hike the trails around Lake Tahoe, or when I could
Work, meeting children that needed help and guidance, I wake up missing my old life. Usually it’s the pain at night in my bones that does nothing to allow for me sleep.
My Doctor has my Insomnia listed as A Mental Disorder. Is it? Or is it a side effect of chronic pain from metestatic breast cancer? #painwarrior #MetastaticBreastCancer # #Insomniac #I need sleep 😴

10 people are talking about this
Community Voices

Courage is being afraid but doing it anyway #CourageToChange

<p>Courage is being afraid but doing it anyway <a class="tm-topic-link ugc-topic" title="CourageToChange" href="/topic/couragetochange/" data-id="5d1a2298dfe77b00d9c5b337" data-name="CourageToChange" aria-label="hashtag CourageToChange">#CourageToChange</a> </p>
4 people are talking about this
Community Voices

WHAT is insomnia?Im in a stage IV cancer.I rarely sleep more than three hours , in the quiet if the night that’s when my memories of when I used to hike the trails around Lake Tahoe, or when I could
Work, meeting children that needed help and guidance, I wake up missing my old life. Usually it’s the pain at night in my bones that does nothing to allow for me sleep.
My Doctor has my Insomnia listed as A Mental Disorder. Is it? Or is it a side effect of chronic pain from metestatic breast cancer? #painwarrior #MetastaticBreastCancer # #Insomniac #I need sleep 😴

10 people are talking about this
Community Voices

What usually gets you up in the morning?

<p>What usually gets you up in the morning?</p>
53 people are talking about this
Community Voices

I miss my Dad

My dad has just passed away about an hour ago after a very long battle with dementia (over 10 years). He was only 73. I spent a few hours with him this afternoon then went home and was going back tomorrow. There were a few years there when I wasn't speaking to my parents and I feel so much regret for the time I missed out on with my dad. I'm really sad and feel lonely. I know he's no longer suffering but I still am. I'm worried this will make my depression even worse as I've been struggling lately. He was a great dad and I miss him xx #Depression #PTSD #Grief

30 people are talking about this
Community Voices

I miss my Dad

My dad has just passed away about an hour ago after a very long battle with dementia (over 10 years). He was only 73. I spent a few hours with him this afternoon then went home and was going back tomorrow. There were a few years there when I wasn't speaking to my parents and I feel so much regret for the time I missed out on with my dad. I'm really sad and feel lonely. I know he's no longer suffering but I still am. I'm worried this will make my depression even worse as I've been struggling lately. He was a great dad and I miss him xx #Depression #PTSD #Grief

30 people are talking about this
Community Voices

What’s the #1 reason you might “shut down”?

<p>What’s the <a class="tm-topic-link ugc-topic" title="1" href="/topic/1/" data-id="5c7ab8af97ada900da263021" data-name="1" aria-label="hashtag 1">#1</a>  reason you might “shut down”?</p>
359 people are talking about this
Community Voices

WHAT is insomnia?Im in a stage IV cancer.I rarely sleep more than three hours , in the quiet if the night that’s when my memories of when I used to hike the trails around Lake Tahoe, or when I could
Work, meeting children that needed help and guidance, I wake up missing my old life. Usually it’s the pain at night in my bones that does nothing to allow for me sleep.
My Doctor has my Insomnia listed as A Mental Disorder. Is it? Or is it a side effect of chronic pain from metestatic breast cancer? #painwarrior #MetastaticBreastCancer # #Insomniac #I need sleep 😴

10 people are talking about this