Mike

@texxasmike
Depression and anxiety have been part of my life for going on 40+ years. My first major depressive event happened from age 9-11. Today I am either on my third or fourth depending on the doctor I speak with. Most recently my Major Depressive episode included PTSD (according to my therapist) and retreated to just general depression 3 years ago. I don't know what it means to be happy. I experience fleeting moments of joy but they are quickly replaced with reality of my life, loneliness, sadness, anger and pain. I have had more than 30 years of therapy and I have tried more than 20 drug therapies and combinations of drug therapies. Medicines sometimes work but then they stop working and I hit the maximum safe dosage and then they stop working or the meds have terrible side effects. I have accepted I will die depressed, alone and probably afraid like I have lived for much of my life.
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Suffering..

<p>Suffering..</p>
78 people are talking about this
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#SocialMedia sucks but I’m addicted!

I hate the hold social media has on me. I don’t like who I am when I use Twitter or Facebook. I hate that when I’m bored my first thought is to continually scroll. I feel like I gain nothing from it, and lose a little bit more of myself every time I log in or search out the apps on my phone. I hate how I feel like if I’m not gaining followers I feel bad about myself.

Does anyone else feel like this or know a way to break the cycle? The problem is I have a few good friends all spread out throughout the various apps and I’d like the keep in contact with them but feel like I need social media to do so…I hate the hold it has on me…it triggers my depression and feeds my anxiety because I’m clearly not good enough :(

#Anxiety #Depression #SocialMedia #CheckInWithMe

35 people are talking about this
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#SocialMedia sucks but I’m addicted!

I hate the hold social media has on me. I don’t like who I am when I use Twitter or Facebook. I hate that when I’m bored my first thought is to continually scroll. I feel like I gain nothing from it, and lose a little bit more of myself every time I log in or search out the apps on my phone. I hate how I feel like if I’m not gaining followers I feel bad about myself.

Does anyone else feel like this or know a way to break the cycle? The problem is I have a few good friends all spread out throughout the various apps and I’d like the keep in contact with them but feel like I need social media to do so…I hate the hold it has on me…it triggers my depression and feeds my anxiety because I’m clearly not good enough :(

#Anxiety #Depression #SocialMedia #CheckInWithMe

35 people are talking about this
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TRUE or FALSE: Peeps are a delicious candy.

<p>TRUE or FALSE: Peeps are a delicious candy.</p>
86 people are talking about this
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I don't want to take a shower.

I am tired and grumpy. I just want to lay in my bed. But I need to take a shower. I would wait till tomorrow but I don't want to get up at 4:30am so I have enough time to take a shower. I need to take a shower. I stink. I feel gross. I don't want to take a shower. So I guess I will go take a shower. Ugh #Depression

21 people are talking about this
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Cire

Medications?

This might be a really dumb question, but I don’t understand how taking an antidepressant would help me at all. I haven’t seen a PCP in years mainly out of embarrassment and fear, so I don’t take any medications. Just thinking about seeing one and having to explain myself gives me anxiety. I have been struggling really bad lately and although it seems like the easiest thing, going would be very hard for me to do. Because it’s difficult for me, understanding the potential benefit of taking some medication help me go. I just don’t understand how an antidepressant would help. If I took one, it’s not like it fixes any of the actual causes that so I don’t get how it would make me feel any better. I also worry about how every antidepressant commercial always warns of increased suicidal thoughts so it seems risky since I am already near the edge. If anyone has had the same concerns and ended up starting antidepressants, I would appreciate if you could share your experience, whether it was good or bad.

15 people are talking about this
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Another lockdown coming? #COVID19 #Canada

With the numbers going up and maybe that has to do with no masks being forced to wear? I really hope not. I hated lockdowns. #Depression

4 people are talking about this