thatgirh

@thatgirh
One complex patient, if you know what I mean.
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Hi, yes I have every hashtag. Yes, I do get extremely out of breath from bending over.. yes I do need a wheelchair for bigger places due to lack of air as well as other physical problems.
However, I just got diagnosed with bronchomalacia, laryngomalacia, and aspiration today. I’m 21 years old, yet I’m getting diagnosed with things commonly found in children. Are there any other adults out there with these issues? If so, what’s your diet like and how did you help your lungs breath better if you were able to?

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need reassurance


#Tracheomalacia

Last Thursday, my youngest, who is 8 months old, had a consultation with a genetics because he has feeding difficulties and airway difficulties. Quick back story:he was diagnosed with failure to thrive at about 3 weeks. fast forward, he has a floppy airway, aspirates on thin liquids so is primarily fed through a g tube. he does still breastfeed some and has been a champ with puree and honey-thick liquid.
anyway, so genetics comes back after his physical exam and wants to test him for . ok, great... what is that? well the geneticist said that she thought it could be this because: he has a lazy L eye, is small for his age, had a PDA in his heart and apparently has "undescended testicles"?? well I didnt think babies had testicles that had descended yet so that's news to me. she also thought he had slight low muscle tone .
I'm freaking out and am in a terrible way today because I cant let go of the thought of him being developmentally disabled. this literally scares the crap out of me. he has hit all his baby milestones but has a little trunk weakness- so is a bit sslouch-y. but he is really close to crawling and lives to be on all 4s rocking back and forth.
I need some perspective- I need some hindsight from others who have been in the thick of chronic illness with their babies, to know that they CAN turn out smart and funny and "normal". while normal may look a little different are we going to be ok? am I going to be ok? is he going to be ok? suddenly I am so crippled by fear of bad things happening that I think it might help to hear stories of happiness, of recovery and of kiddos leading a darn near regular life.

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abusers

I just ran into one of my abusers on Facebook through a mutual friends’ page. I couldn’t help it but I needed to see that he was miserable, but he wasn’t. How is he raising a female child? How is he smiling? How is he living with himself? Why can’t I be the one smiling and having the best time of my life? Why can’t I just forget it ever happened? Why can’t those who traumatize us, become traumatized themselves? #PTSD

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when your ptsd gets really bad, what do you do to calm it down again? #PTSD

do you call it a ptsd attack? idk how to word this correctly and I don’t want to offend anyone.
but lately my ptsd has been really bad, to the point where I’ve been questioning whether I can finish college or not since most of my episodes happen on campus when students smell, sound, or look a certain way. my therapist recommended an “emergency smell kit” since smell has been a horrible trigger lately, but I tried it and it doesn’t really help. what do you do to pull yourself out of that dark place? how can you tell a memory from reality? and how do you stop thinking about it afterwards? #PTSD #RapeSurvivors #help

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when your ptsd gets really bad, what do you do to calm it down again? #PTSD

do you call it a ptsd attack? idk how to word this correctly and I don’t want to offend anyone.
but lately my ptsd has been really bad, to the point where I’ve been questioning whether I can finish college or not since most of my episodes happen on campus when students smell, sound, or look a certain way. my therapist recommended an “emergency smell kit” since smell has been a horrible trigger lately, but I tried it and it doesn’t really help. what do you do to pull yourself out of that dark place? how can you tell a memory from reality? and how do you stop thinking about it afterwards? #PTSD #RapeSurvivors #help

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What’s yours?

<p>What’s yours?</p>
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Nightmare fucked me uuup

Soooo I’m not sleeping for a few days

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#PTSD #Depression #Nightmares Nightmare=suicidal thoughts?

Is it just me or does anyone else sometimes wake up from a nightmare and immediately think/feel,” I have to kill myself”?
-I went through this this morning, which is strange for me because I haven’t felt that way after waking up from a nightmare since 2017. I haven’t even thought of suicide lately, I think I’ve been really good and regaining positive. But for some reason, I’m my nightmare I thought,” I have to kill my self” and after I woke up, I thought/felt the exact same way as if I was still dreaming. I was waking up and forcing myself back to sleep for nearly 4 hours this morning. #help

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#PTSD #Depression #Nightmares Nightmare=suicidal thoughts?

Is it just me or does anyone else sometimes wake up from a nightmare and immediately think/feel,” I have to kill myself”?
-I went through this this morning, which is strange for me because I haven’t felt that way after waking up from a nightmare since 2017. I haven’t even thought of suicide lately, I think I’ve been really good and regaining positive. But for some reason, I’m my nightmare I thought,” I have to kill my self” and after I woke up, I thought/felt the exact same way as if I was still dreaming. I was waking up and forcing myself back to sleep for nearly 4 hours this morning. #help

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