Sally

@themaskedpolyglot
Community Voices

Breaking free

Hello!

I wanted to share with everyone my journey through breaking free from my attachment issues, anxiety and toxic environment.

A little back story: My name is Sally, I am 28 years old diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis, anxiety,depression,PCOS and binge eating disorder. My life was semi on hold for 6 years now because of all my illnesses. I had anxiety for as long as I remember I think from the time that my father passed away when I was 5 years old. My mother also suffers from all the diagnoses I have which made it hard for her to care for my emotional needs.

My family is very toxic, since I was young I was made fun of how I look and how I weight. No one really cared about me when I was sick too which made me unaware about my health and made me accept a lot of pain that could have been taken care of if I listened to the signals my body gave me. I actually gave up on living and was living like a zombie until now.

A year ago I met my boyfriend, a guy from South-Korea who has treated me with care and love for this whole year and made me realize how easy it was for my family to help me get out of this emotional pain. If there was just a part of the support my boyfriend gave me from them maybe I wouldnt have suffered this much.

My mother is very protective and controlling. I never could make choices in my life, I also never slept over at someone or travelled with friends or alone.

But I too was overly attached to my emotionally unavailable mother always begging to be loved. But when time went by I noticed that I was stuck while everyone was going forward. My brother who is 5 years younger than me got married which kind off pulled a plug in me.

I am so happy for him but I also felt a big embarrassment and disappointment in myself and all the things my mother and stepdad said came in to mind.

"No one wants a fat woman" "you are disgusting" "I will only hug you if you lose weight "you cant sit on my bed you might break it"

My health was never their priority it was always how I looked. I was unhappy and I was sick, I barely ate but my anxiety made me always throw up or binge eat but all that mattered is how I will look at my brothers wedding.

I decided it was time for me to take distance from them and decided to move to South-Korea for a few months until the wedding to be with my boyfriend. My anxiety was killing but I am managing it by writing here and being aware about my feelings.

A lot of thoughts in my mind "Your boyfriend will also think you are disgusting" "His parents will hate you because you are sick and fat"

I felt so sad thinking those things since I was always a person who had a lot of confidence and amazing energy.

Tomorrow is the day that I will leave for the first time in my life I made a decision on my own and I chose to get out of my comfort zone and tackle my mental illnesses hard to be happy.

Its been enough. I had enough of hating myself while i have been through so much and still am going through a lot. I had enough of my family treating me this way but me still being so attached to them and being scared to leave the toxic environment.

Only God knows how sick I feel right now to leave but its my first step to happiness and healing.

I hope I can share this journey with you guys and people who have some tips and tricks please let me know. The love is needed as I really have no one around me to support me at the moment.

I am sorry for the stories being so messed up together its because I am writing through my emotions now but I promise I will keep you guys updated and will write in a more understandable way next time.

X
Sally

#Depression #Healing #Arthritis #BingeEatingDisorder #Anxiety #Toxic #PolycysticOvarySyndrome

10 people are talking about this
Community Voices

Breaking free

Hello!

I wanted to share with everyone my journey through breaking free from my attachment issues, anxiety and toxic environment.

A little back story: My name is Sally, I am 28 years old diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis, anxiety,depression,PCOS and binge eating disorder. My life was semi on hold for 6 years now because of all my illnesses. I had anxiety for as long as I remember I think from the time that my father passed away when I was 5 years old. My mother also suffers from all the diagnoses I have which made it hard for her to care for my emotional needs.

My family is very toxic, since I was young I was made fun of how I look and how I weight. No one really cared about me when I was sick too which made me unaware about my health and made me accept a lot of pain that could have been taken care of if I listened to the signals my body gave me. I actually gave up on living and was living like a zombie until now.

A year ago I met my boyfriend, a guy from South-Korea who has treated me with care and love for this whole year and made me realize how easy it was for my family to help me get out of this emotional pain. If there was just a part of the support my boyfriend gave me from them maybe I wouldnt have suffered this much.

My mother is very protective and controlling. I never could make choices in my life, I also never slept over at someone or travelled with friends or alone.

But I too was overly attached to my emotionally unavailable mother always begging to be loved. But when time went by I noticed that I was stuck while everyone was going forward. My brother who is 5 years younger than me got married which kind off pulled a plug in me.

I am so happy for him but I also felt a big embarrassment and disappointment in myself and all the things my mother and stepdad said came in to mind.

"No one wants a fat woman" "you are disgusting" "I will only hug you if you lose weight "you cant sit on my bed you might break it"

My health was never their priority it was always how I looked. I was unhappy and I was sick, I barely ate but my anxiety made me always throw up or binge eat but all that mattered is how I will look at my brothers wedding.

I decided it was time for me to take distance from them and decided to move to South-Korea for a few months until the wedding to be with my boyfriend. My anxiety was killing but I am managing it by writing here and being aware about my feelings.

A lot of thoughts in my mind "Your boyfriend will also think you are disgusting" "His parents will hate you because you are sick and fat"

I felt so sad thinking those things since I was always a person who had a lot of confidence and amazing energy.

Tomorrow is the day that I will leave for the first time in my life I made a decision on my own and I chose to get out of my comfort zone and tackle my mental illnesses hard to be happy.

Its been enough. I had enough of hating myself while i have been through so much and still am going through a lot. I had enough of my family treating me this way but me still being so attached to them and being scared to leave the toxic environment.

Only God knows how sick I feel right now to leave but its my first step to happiness and healing.

I hope I can share this journey with you guys and people who have some tips and tricks please let me know. The love is needed as I really have no one around me to support me at the moment.

I am sorry for the stories being so messed up together its because I am writing through my emotions now but I promise I will keep you guys updated and will write in a more understandable way next time.

X
Sally

#Depression #Healing #Arthritis #BingeEatingDisorder #Anxiety #Toxic #PolycysticOvarySyndrome

10 people are talking about this
Community Voices

Breaking free

Hello!

I wanted to share with everyone my journey through breaking free from my attachment issues, anxiety and toxic environment.

A little back story: My name is Sally, I am 28 years old diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis, anxiety,depression,PCOS and binge eating disorder. My life was semi on hold for 6 years now because of all my illnesses. I had anxiety for as long as I remember I think from the time that my father passed away when I was 5 years old. My mother also suffers from all the diagnoses I have which made it hard for her to care for my emotional needs.

My family is very toxic, since I was young I was made fun of how I look and how I weight. No one really cared about me when I was sick too which made me unaware about my health and made me accept a lot of pain that could have been taken care of if I listened to the signals my body gave me. I actually gave up on living and was living like a zombie until now.

A year ago I met my boyfriend, a guy from South-Korea who has treated me with care and love for this whole year and made me realize how easy it was for my family to help me get out of this emotional pain. If there was just a part of the support my boyfriend gave me from them maybe I wouldnt have suffered this much.

My mother is very protective and controlling. I never could make choices in my life, I also never slept over at someone or travelled with friends or alone.

But I too was overly attached to my emotionally unavailable mother always begging to be loved. But when time went by I noticed that I was stuck while everyone was going forward. My brother who is 5 years younger than me got married which kind off pulled a plug in me.

I am so happy for him but I also felt a big embarrassment and disappointment in myself and all the things my mother and stepdad said came in to mind.

"No one wants a fat woman" "you are disgusting" "I will only hug you if you lose weight "you cant sit on my bed you might break it"

My health was never their priority it was always how I looked. I was unhappy and I was sick, I barely ate but my anxiety made me always throw up or binge eat but all that mattered is how I will look at my brothers wedding.

I decided it was time for me to take distance from them and decided to move to South-Korea for a few months until the wedding to be with my boyfriend. My anxiety was killing but I am managing it by writing here and being aware about my feelings.

A lot of thoughts in my mind "Your boyfriend will also think you are disgusting" "His parents will hate you because you are sick and fat"

I felt so sad thinking those things since I was always a person who had a lot of confidence and amazing energy.

Tomorrow is the day that I will leave for the first time in my life I made a decision on my own and I chose to get out of my comfort zone and tackle my mental illnesses hard to be happy.

Its been enough. I had enough of hating myself while i have been through so much and still am going through a lot. I had enough of my family treating me this way but me still being so attached to them and being scared to leave the toxic environment.

Only God knows how sick I feel right now to leave but its my first step to happiness and healing.

I hope I can share this journey with you guys and people who have some tips and tricks please let me know. The love is needed as I really have no one around me to support me at the moment.

I am sorry for the stories being so messed up together its because I am writing through my emotions now but I promise I will keep you guys updated and will write in a more understandable way next time.

X
Sally

#Depression #Healing #Arthritis #BingeEatingDisorder #Anxiety #Toxic #PolycysticOvarySyndrome

10 people are talking about this
Community Voices

Breaking free

Hello!

I wanted to share with everyone my journey through breaking free from my attachment issues, anxiety and toxic environment.

A little back story: My name is Sally, I am 28 years old diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis, anxiety,depression,PCOS and binge eating disorder. My life was semi on hold for 6 years now because of all my illnesses. I had anxiety for as long as I remember I think from the time that my father passed away when I was 5 years old. My mother also suffers from all the diagnoses I have which made it hard for her to care for my emotional needs.

My family is very toxic, since I was young I was made fun of how I look and how I weight. No one really cared about me when I was sick too which made me unaware about my health and made me accept a lot of pain that could have been taken care of if I listened to the signals my body gave me. I actually gave up on living and was living like a zombie until now.

A year ago I met my boyfriend, a guy from South-Korea who has treated me with care and love for this whole year and made me realize how easy it was for my family to help me get out of this emotional pain. If there was just a part of the support my boyfriend gave me from them maybe I wouldnt have suffered this much.

My mother is very protective and controlling. I never could make choices in my life, I also never slept over at someone or travelled with friends or alone.

But I too was overly attached to my emotionally unavailable mother always begging to be loved. But when time went by I noticed that I was stuck while everyone was going forward. My brother who is 5 years younger than me got married which kind off pulled a plug in me.

I am so happy for him but I also felt a big embarrassment and disappointment in myself and all the things my mother and stepdad said came in to mind.

"No one wants a fat woman" "you are disgusting" "I will only hug you if you lose weight "you cant sit on my bed you might break it"

My health was never their priority it was always how I looked. I was unhappy and I was sick, I barely ate but my anxiety made me always throw up or binge eat but all that mattered is how I will look at my brothers wedding.

I decided it was time for me to take distance from them and decided to move to South-Korea for a few months until the wedding to be with my boyfriend. My anxiety was killing but I am managing it by writing here and being aware about my feelings.

A lot of thoughts in my mind "Your boyfriend will also think you are disgusting" "His parents will hate you because you are sick and fat"

I felt so sad thinking those things since I was always a person who had a lot of confidence and amazing energy.

Tomorrow is the day that I will leave for the first time in my life I made a decision on my own and I chose to get out of my comfort zone and tackle my mental illnesses hard to be happy.

Its been enough. I had enough of hating myself while i have been through so much and still am going through a lot. I had enough of my family treating me this way but me still being so attached to them and being scared to leave the toxic environment.

Only God knows how sick I feel right now to leave but its my first step to happiness and healing.

I hope I can share this journey with you guys and people who have some tips and tricks please let me know. The love is needed as I really have no one around me to support me at the moment.

I am sorry for the stories being so messed up together its because I am writing through my emotions now but I promise I will keep you guys updated and will write in a more understandable way next time.

X
Sally

#Depression #Healing #Arthritis #BingeEatingDisorder #Anxiety #Toxic #PolycysticOvarySyndrome

10 people are talking about this
Community Voices

Breaking free

Hello!

I wanted to share with everyone my journey through breaking free from my attachment issues, anxiety and toxic environment.

A little back story: My name is Sally, I am 28 years old diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis, anxiety,depression,PCOS and binge eating disorder. My life was semi on hold for 6 years now because of all my illnesses. I had anxiety for as long as I remember I think from the time that my father passed away when I was 5 years old. My mother also suffers from all the diagnoses I have which made it hard for her to care for my emotional needs.

My family is very toxic, since I was young I was made fun of how I look and how I weight. No one really cared about me when I was sick too which made me unaware about my health and made me accept a lot of pain that could have been taken care of if I listened to the signals my body gave me. I actually gave up on living and was living like a zombie until now.

A year ago I met my boyfriend, a guy from South-Korea who has treated me with care and love for this whole year and made me realize how easy it was for my family to help me get out of this emotional pain. If there was just a part of the support my boyfriend gave me from them maybe I wouldnt have suffered this much.

My mother is very protective and controlling. I never could make choices in my life, I also never slept over at someone or travelled with friends or alone.

But I too was overly attached to my emotionally unavailable mother always begging to be loved. But when time went by I noticed that I was stuck while everyone was going forward. My brother who is 5 years younger than me got married which kind off pulled a plug in me.

I am so happy for him but I also felt a big embarrassment and disappointment in myself and all the things my mother and stepdad said came in to mind.

"No one wants a fat woman" "you are disgusting" "I will only hug you if you lose weight "you cant sit on my bed you might break it"

My health was never their priority it was always how I looked. I was unhappy and I was sick, I barely ate but my anxiety made me always throw up or binge eat but all that mattered is how I will look at my brothers wedding.

I decided it was time for me to take distance from them and decided to move to South-Korea for a few months until the wedding to be with my boyfriend. My anxiety was killing but I am managing it by writing here and being aware about my feelings.

A lot of thoughts in my mind "Your boyfriend will also think you are disgusting" "His parents will hate you because you are sick and fat"

I felt so sad thinking those things since I was always a person who had a lot of confidence and amazing energy.

Tomorrow is the day that I will leave for the first time in my life I made a decision on my own and I chose to get out of my comfort zone and tackle my mental illnesses hard to be happy.

Its been enough. I had enough of hating myself while i have been through so much and still am going through a lot. I had enough of my family treating me this way but me still being so attached to them and being scared to leave the toxic environment.

Only God knows how sick I feel right now to leave but its my first step to happiness and healing.

I hope I can share this journey with you guys and people who have some tips and tricks please let me know. The love is needed as I really have no one around me to support me at the moment.

I am sorry for the stories being so messed up together its because I am writing through my emotions now but I promise I will keep you guys updated and will write in a more understandable way next time.

X
Sally

#Depression #Healing #Arthritis #BingeEatingDisorder #Anxiety #Toxic #PolycysticOvarySyndrome

10 people are talking about this
Community Voices

Breaking free

Hello!

I wanted to share with everyone my journey through breaking free from my attachment issues, anxiety and toxic environment.

A little back story: My name is Sally, I am 28 years old diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis, anxiety,depression,PCOS and binge eating disorder. My life was semi on hold for 6 years now because of all my illnesses. I had anxiety for as long as I remember I think from the time that my father passed away when I was 5 years old. My mother also suffers from all the diagnoses I have which made it hard for her to care for my emotional needs.

My family is very toxic, since I was young I was made fun of how I look and how I weight. No one really cared about me when I was sick too which made me unaware about my health and made me accept a lot of pain that could have been taken care of if I listened to the signals my body gave me. I actually gave up on living and was living like a zombie until now.

A year ago I met my boyfriend, a guy from South-Korea who has treated me with care and love for this whole year and made me realize how easy it was for my family to help me get out of this emotional pain. If there was just a part of the support my boyfriend gave me from them maybe I wouldnt have suffered this much.

My mother is very protective and controlling. I never could make choices in my life, I also never slept over at someone or travelled with friends or alone.

But I too was overly attached to my emotionally unavailable mother always begging to be loved. But when time went by I noticed that I was stuck while everyone was going forward. My brother who is 5 years younger than me got married which kind off pulled a plug in me.

I am so happy for him but I also felt a big embarrassment and disappointment in myself and all the things my mother and stepdad said came in to mind.

"No one wants a fat woman" "you are disgusting" "I will only hug you if you lose weight "you cant sit on my bed you might break it"

My health was never their priority it was always how I looked. I was unhappy and I was sick, I barely ate but my anxiety made me always throw up or binge eat but all that mattered is how I will look at my brothers wedding.

I decided it was time for me to take distance from them and decided to move to South-Korea for a few months until the wedding to be with my boyfriend. My anxiety was killing but I am managing it by writing here and being aware about my feelings.

A lot of thoughts in my mind "Your boyfriend will also think you are disgusting" "His parents will hate you because you are sick and fat"

I felt so sad thinking those things since I was always a person who had a lot of confidence and amazing energy.

Tomorrow is the day that I will leave for the first time in my life I made a decision on my own and I chose to get out of my comfort zone and tackle my mental illnesses hard to be happy.

Its been enough. I had enough of hating myself while i have been through so much and still am going through a lot. I had enough of my family treating me this way but me still being so attached to them and being scared to leave the toxic environment.

Only God knows how sick I feel right now to leave but its my first step to happiness and healing.

I hope I can share this journey with you guys and people who have some tips and tricks please let me know. The love is needed as I really have no one around me to support me at the moment.

I am sorry for the stories being so messed up together its because I am writing through my emotions now but I promise I will keep you guys updated and will write in a more understandable way next time.

X
Sally

#Depression #Healing #Arthritis #BingeEatingDisorder #Anxiety #Toxic #PolycysticOvarySyndrome

10 people are talking about this
Autumn Knapp

You Don't Have to Take Care of an Abusive Parent If You Can't

I left home at the age of 20, during my sophomore year of college. My mother didn’t even realize I was moving out because I did it secretly: During a weekend home, I packed only what I wanted to keep and wouldn’t be missed, and left everything else behind. I left a letter in our mailbox explaining why I was moving out, where I would be, and how my mother could reach me. To say it was a big step is an understatement. For me, it was like taking a jump and landing on the moon. My mom was abusive and controlling my whole life with her. She was a single mom and I was an only child (though later, I would learn that I had an older sister 15 years my senior, who also left home at only 15 years old). Growing up, my mom was a pinball machine that resulted in her being constantly angry, depressed, anxious, fearful, narcissistic, and paranoid — the effects of which were all aimed at me, the only other person around. She was emotionally explosive. There was the time I was ordered to sleep outside because of something I’d done, despite it being winter. I was eventually allowed to sleep by the house’s front door only after much crying and begging. I was often spanked (beaten) so hard that she broke objects over my body — one that sticks out in my memory is a thick wooden kitchen spoon. And there was a time when I was about 9 years old and my mother imagined that I was stealing wine from a bottle she’d hidden, so she forced me to drink a 16-ounce glass of wine to teach me a lesson. I’ll leave to the imagination what happens when a 9-year-old drinks over three servings of wine. There are many more episodes like these. So, as soon as I was able, I left my home. A few months later, I apologized for how I handled the situation and attempted to reconcile with my mother, only to be given a moving truck full of my belongings and a warning never to speak to her again. Fast-forward 18 years. I am married and have six children of my own, and live on the other side of the country. Through a series of phone calls from strangers, I learn that my mother is in poor health and needs help. I visit her for the first time in 18 years and realize that she cannot live independently anymore. She is alone and needs to be closer to me because I can’t keep flying across the country to help her. It was both a hard and an easy decision to move her to our town. I am a Christian, so some principles guide my life and inform my decisions. One is honoring my parents. Another is caring for widows, and another is showing love to my enemies. I know it’s the right thing to do, but it’s still hard because I know it will be painful. So I make the arrangements for her to move closer to us. We find an apartment a mile away and fill it with furniture I find at thrift stores. I fly across the country one last time to pack her up and bring her out. I steel my mind for this new chapter and tell myself just to treat her like a “normal” person. Maybe a distant aunt. At first, it’s easy to have compassion for her. She is, after all, an old lady. She needs help with daily tasks. She doesn’t drive, so I do her grocery shopping. She doesn’t understand what goes on at her doctor visits, so I accompany her and interpret what she needs to know. My husband handles her finances and helps her pay her bills. And then there is the emotional side: she doesn’t address the previous 18 years. It’s as if they never happened and life has been “normal.” She acts like a “normal” mother. She comes over to our house for Christmas. She wants to take me out for lunch when it’s my birthday. My brain is confused because I don’t know how to fit this new person into my adult life, especially when I can’t stand to be around her. Even seeing her handwriting on a grocery list fills me with anxiety . Things go relatively smoothly for a while. It’s not easy managing another adult’s whole life, and it’s not easy incorporating a new grandparent into our family life, but we eventually seem to adjust to our new normal. Until we don’t. My mom ends up with a three-month-long health issue resulting in surgery and a weeks-long recovery. This means many more doctor appointments and much more hands-on care. I already know that I can’t bear being around her for more than a few hours at a time, so for weeks my husband and I trade shifts to care for her. All while still juggling our own family. There are mystery skin rashes to diagnose, diabetic emergencies, emotional meltdowns, taking kids to jobs, school meetings, and the normal chaos that comes with having six kids. I knew something had to change. Being around my mom so often brings up a lot of crud from my childhood. I am still angry with her for how she treated me as a child. And I am resentful that she is taking time away from my own children and causing me to be more like the mother she was and less like the mother I want to be. But I can’t show my anger. As a child, and now as an adult, I have to keep a lid on my emotions because I know if I show any anything besides cheerful acquiescence, there will be a huge emotional scene from her, and I can’t deal with that. As a child and even now as an adult, I use immense energy to stuff my emotions down and put a smile on my face. After I left my mom’s house one day, utterly drained from interacting with her, and then having to go home and be a mom to my own kids, I knew something had to change. I talked to my therapist about what has been going on and she helps me realize something that now seems very obvious: I don’t have to take care of my abuser. NO ONE expects me to take care of my abuser. For some reason, hearing those words from someone else released me from the guilt I had been carrying: about hating being around my mother, being angry with her, not wanting to take care of her, and not being able to reconcile this new version of my mother with the abusive one I had known as a child. I let go of the guilt of wanting to help her, but also not wanting to be physically around her. I still feel strongly that my mom needs to be taken care of. I can’t turn my back on her and let her survive alone. But that doesn’t mean that I have to be the one going to her house every day. I don’t owe her any more of my presence than is healthy for me to offer. I have my own family now and my own children to mother. My husband is the main one that has difficult conversations with my mom because I cannot do it. So he talks with her and lets her know that we will be hiring a senior helper and that she will be paying for it. He framed it lovingly saying, “It seems like you need more help than we are able to give, and we don’t want you to go without the help you need.” I am still in the middle of this, and I think it’s going to be an ongoing process. I’m still sorting out my feelings and trying to find a good balance of showing my mother love from afar and keeping my boundaries so that I can be the mom to my children that I never had. More Resources I realize that I am fortunate to have a supportive spouse who can help shoulder the burden of caring for an aging parent, and not everyone is in this position. Many state agencies offer help to the elderly. Eldercare Locator was helpful early in our search and locates resources in your area. Local churches can also help with meals and finding people qualified to help the elderly. If your parent has state Medicaid , there are many resources available, including transportation, in-home helpers, and more. Your area likely has local agencies that provide services for the elderly in the community. I also have a therapist that I can afford because of my husband’s health benefits. Not everyone has this ability. BetterHelp is an excellent resource for people needing therapy, and their pay scale is very reasonable. I have used this service in the past and was happy with the care I received. I posted a request on Nextdoor for qualified senior helpers and have received many responses that I’m still in the process of vetting. The great thing about Nextdoor is that it locates people right in a selected neighborhood or location and uses the power of word-of-mouth. Someone usually knows someone nearby that is interested in a caregiving job. If you are in a similar position as I am, talk to someone. Find support. May you find the healing that you deserve.

10 Things Not to Say to Someone With Depression

Depression is not an easy thing to live it. Combined with anxiety, it can be immobilizing and even cause major disruptions in people’s lives. Although depression is an unpleasant thing to have, what is even worse is when someone who does not understand it makes a comment about it. Here are 10 things people have said to me about my depression that I wish they hadn’t. It is purely based on my own experience, and I am aware this will not necessarily be the same for everyone I know who has/or has experienced depression. 1. Snap out of it! Depression is a real mental illness. In my case, depression for me was catalyzed by loneliness and transitions, which, as you can imagine, really took a toll on my mental health. I cannot just “snap out” of dealing with the mental turmoil of depression. I also can’t “snap out” of the current situations that played a role in my depression. Transitions are a part of life and are to be embraced. I intended on combating the loneliness I experienced by spending my time with others. However, I was lonely within the crowd, which did not make things any easier for me. So I found myself trapped, and I did not know how to get out of it. This was the start of the downward spiral of my depression. 2. Oh cheer up! So you seem to think I can just think my way out of depression? Well, sorry my love, it does not work like that! I will not cheer up at your say so either. Just like my previous point, I cannot just cheer up when a depressive episode hits. I have to run with it, learn to manage it and use my coping strategies (painting, walking, watching a film and playing X-box) to distract my mind and feel better. Also, unless you have experienced depression, you are in no position to tell me to cheer up. 3. You don’t look depressed. Depression does not have a “look.” You cannot assume depression is where people always look sad and miserable. I was a fake person for a number of months. I smiled and pretended to be happy even though I had what I call “numb” days when I don’t feel any emotions. This was how I managed to hide my depression, and no one really knew about it until I became more vocal and was in a better position to manage it. 4. It’s not that bad. Oh really? Well why did I not think of that? Unless you’ve experienced months and months of being in a mental prison, where you constantly feel guilty, low, frequently tearful for no reason and constantly go through this downward spiral of suicidal thoughts, self-loathing, self-harming and suicide attempts, then you should not tell me depression “is not that bad.” 5. Why are you depressed? I always have to take a pause whenever I am asked this. What actually was it that triggered my depression? Was it the loneliness? Was it the transitions of my closest friends graduating and leaving while I’m still here? Was it the fact that I was running on three to four hours sleep every night, which meant I woke up feeling groggy every morning for months on end? Was it the media and the focus on hate crimes and other serious things happening that all of a sudden was extremely triggering to me? Usually, I just tell people life has been tough, and I am still making my way through it (only I now have an amazing support system in place to help me). 6. Get over it! Do you really think getting over a depressive episode will happen within the moment you tell me to? No! I cannot just get over a drop in my mood or when a depressive episode happens. If I suddenly feel unable to do something because of the episode, then please help me. Do not make assumptions that it is something I need to get over because, quite simply, you cannot just get over depression. 7. You need to get out more. You think by getting out more, I will magically be “cured” of having depression? Of course not. Given I am generally out and about for much of my time anyway, why on Earth would you assume I need to get out more? My actual diagnoses is severe depression with anxiety. Unless you’ve had a panic attack trying to sleep, waking up, walking into a building or as you attempt to go shopping, then you are really not able to understand what is happening to me physically and mentally. Yes, I enjoy going out for walks. Yet, when my anxiety levels skyrocketed and my depression worsened, going out was the last thing on my mind. 8. Depression is for weak people. In my opinion, this is the biggest insult to anyone coping with a mental or depressive disorder. I am not weak for having depression. In case you were unaware, depression affects a third of the world’s population, and 1 out 4 people will be affected by a mental illness at some point in their lifetime. Are you implying that a third of the world’s population is weak because of an illness? Are they weak because they are constantly fighting an invisible battle that worsens over time? Depression made me the stronger person I am today, and I am now stepping up to be more of an advocate for others who are in the same position. 9. I’m not happy you’ve increased your medication dose. As much as I understand your concern, it is not really your place to say whether or not you’re happy about the dosage of my medication. It is a decision I am making after discussing it with the doctor, who is in a much better position to advise than you. Plus, it’s not like this decision affects you either. Why complain about me strengthening the dose on my medication, when instead you could text, call or email me, follow-up and see how I’m doing? That’s a better plan. Remember, depression affects everyone differently. Some people are able to come off medication sooner than others. Respect my decision. 10. You’d better not have a breakdown when we’re out! When a depressive episode hits, it hits. There is no escape from it, and I have to cope with it. If I have an anxiety attack or a severe depressive episode where I end up losing myself in the mental chaos happening in my head, then poor you! The most you can do is put up with it, given I have to live with it! Think before you speak. Do some research too! If you or someone you know needs help, visit our suicide prevention resources page. If you need support right now, call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. You can reach the Crisis Text Line by texting “START” to 741-741. We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor here. Image via Thinkstock.