Tressia Demaskie

@tressia-demaskie | contributor
Tressia (pronounced TRES-suh) is a 44 year old woman that chooses to live life to the best of her ability while loving and enjoying her time with her amazing husband and two wonderful boys ♡ The three of them along with their Beagle are why she continues to smile every day despite her medical conditions. She lives with multiple chronic pain conditions including Fibromyalgia, Degenerative Disc Disease, mild Thoracic Scoliosis, Osteoarthritis and Chronic Back Pain. She hopes for her pain, suffering and most importantly her strength to be someone else’s information source and understanding. She’d love for her strength to be an inspiration for all but if it only helps one person it somehow, in her eyes, gives her pain purpose. Only through her strong faith, positive mindset, happy go lucky attitude and love for her family has she overcome her most difficult days. She prays daily for a cause, cure and difinitive testing for Fibromyalgia and technology advancements in treating nerve pain. She invites you to follow her on “The Mighty” and looks forward to taking this journey with you.

How Fibromyalgia Affects Your Friendships

Living with chronic back pain has been a challenge to say the least. Then finding out I was extremely exhausted and my body physically ached and hurt so badly because I have fibromyalgia was devastating for me to grasp and over time learn to live with, I’m still learning. It’s times like this that we need our loved ones a little bit more. However, when you’ve always been the caregiver in your relationships, you sometimes find out that the majority of the people you’ve surrounded yourself with are not the caregiver type and sadly they start to fade away until they no longer exist in your life. From being employed as a caregiver to always being that friend everyone came to for advice or for a shoulder or an ear, caregiving has always been a natural instinct in me. As a wife and mother, these are the roles I take the greatest amount of pride in. I’ve never really been the type to ask for help; I’ve always been self-sufficient and honestly I’d normally rather do things on my own because then they get done to my level of perfection. Some friendships faded and some family members distanced themselves over time as I began to put myself and my health first. If they were about drama and brought on stress, I distanced from them. However, I’ve come to realize many people do surround a person when they get sick, if it’s a short sickness or possibly a terminal one. Except when a person has a chronic illness, an invisible illness and/or one that is long-term, so many people tend to drift away. Part of me thinks it’s because some just get busy in their own life as time goes on. Others don’t want to take the time to accommodate your never-ending illness. Then there are always those few who choose not to take the time to see what’s considered invisible yet is so visible to you. Although it makes me sad to have these relationships come to an end, it has also made me realize that these relationships weren’t as true as I thought. I try to remind myself that it’s their loss because I am a wonderful person worthy of what I give, to have that same love and care reciprocated. I will never need nor want sympathy from a family member or a friend, but if someone has love and compassion to give I welcome them into my life, just as I value my family and friends that have remained true to our relationship and stuck by my side at a time in my life when I need them most even more then I already did. To each of them, thank you! To each of you reading this and understanding exactly what I’m saying because you’ve been there, it’s their loss because you’re worth what you give! We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor here . Lead photo by Thinkstock Images

How Fibromyalgia Affects Your Friendships

Living with chronic back pain has been a challenge to say the least. Then finding out I was extremely exhausted and my body physically ached and hurt so badly because I have fibromyalgia was devastating for me to grasp and over time learn to live with, I’m still learning. It’s times like this that we need our loved ones a little bit more. However, when you’ve always been the caregiver in your relationships, you sometimes find out that the majority of the people you’ve surrounded yourself with are not the caregiver type and sadly they start to fade away until they no longer exist in your life. From being employed as a caregiver to always being that friend everyone came to for advice or for a shoulder or an ear, caregiving has always been a natural instinct in me. As a wife and mother, these are the roles I take the greatest amount of pride in. I’ve never really been the type to ask for help; I’ve always been self-sufficient and honestly I’d normally rather do things on my own because then they get done to my level of perfection. Some friendships faded and some family members distanced themselves over time as I began to put myself and my health first. If they were about drama and brought on stress, I distanced from them. However, I’ve come to realize many people do surround a person when they get sick, if it’s a short sickness or possibly a terminal one. Except when a person has a chronic illness, an invisible illness and/or one that is long-term, so many people tend to drift away. Part of me thinks it’s because some just get busy in their own life as time goes on. Others don’t want to take the time to accommodate your never-ending illness. Then there are always those few who choose not to take the time to see what’s considered invisible yet is so visible to you. Although it makes me sad to have these relationships come to an end, it has also made me realize that these relationships weren’t as true as I thought. I try to remind myself that it’s their loss because I am a wonderful person worthy of what I give, to have that same love and care reciprocated. I will never need nor want sympathy from a family member or a friend, but if someone has love and compassion to give I welcome them into my life, just as I value my family and friends that have remained true to our relationship and stuck by my side at a time in my life when I need them most even more then I already did. To each of them, thank you! To each of you reading this and understanding exactly what I’m saying because you’ve been there, it’s their loss because you’re worth what you give! We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor here . Lead photo by Thinkstock Images

How Fibromyalgia Affects Your Friendships

Living with chronic back pain has been a challenge to say the least. Then finding out I was extremely exhausted and my body physically ached and hurt so badly because I have fibromyalgia was devastating for me to grasp and over time learn to live with, I’m still learning. It’s times like this that we need our loved ones a little bit more. However, when you’ve always been the caregiver in your relationships, you sometimes find out that the majority of the people you’ve surrounded yourself with are not the caregiver type and sadly they start to fade away until they no longer exist in your life. From being employed as a caregiver to always being that friend everyone came to for advice or for a shoulder or an ear, caregiving has always been a natural instinct in me. As a wife and mother, these are the roles I take the greatest amount of pride in. I’ve never really been the type to ask for help; I’ve always been self-sufficient and honestly I’d normally rather do things on my own because then they get done to my level of perfection. Some friendships faded and some family members distanced themselves over time as I began to put myself and my health first. If they were about drama and brought on stress, I distanced from them. However, I’ve come to realize many people do surround a person when they get sick, if it’s a short sickness or possibly a terminal one. Except when a person has a chronic illness, an invisible illness and/or one that is long-term, so many people tend to drift away. Part of me thinks it’s because some just get busy in their own life as time goes on. Others don’t want to take the time to accommodate your never-ending illness. Then there are always those few who choose not to take the time to see what’s considered invisible yet is so visible to you. Although it makes me sad to have these relationships come to an end, it has also made me realize that these relationships weren’t as true as I thought. I try to remind myself that it’s their loss because I am a wonderful person worthy of what I give, to have that same love and care reciprocated. I will never need nor want sympathy from a family member or a friend, but if someone has love and compassion to give I welcome them into my life, just as I value my family and friends that have remained true to our relationship and stuck by my side at a time in my life when I need them most even more then I already did. To each of them, thank you! To each of you reading this and understanding exactly what I’m saying because you’ve been there, it’s their loss because you’re worth what you give! We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor here . Lead photo by Thinkstock Images

How Fibromyalgia Affects Your Friendships

Living with chronic back pain has been a challenge to say the least. Then finding out I was extremely exhausted and my body physically ached and hurt so badly because I have fibromyalgia was devastating for me to grasp and over time learn to live with, I’m still learning. It’s times like this that we need our loved ones a little bit more. However, when you’ve always been the caregiver in your relationships, you sometimes find out that the majority of the people you’ve surrounded yourself with are not the caregiver type and sadly they start to fade away until they no longer exist in your life. From being employed as a caregiver to always being that friend everyone came to for advice or for a shoulder or an ear, caregiving has always been a natural instinct in me. As a wife and mother, these are the roles I take the greatest amount of pride in. I’ve never really been the type to ask for help; I’ve always been self-sufficient and honestly I’d normally rather do things on my own because then they get done to my level of perfection. Some friendships faded and some family members distanced themselves over time as I began to put myself and my health first. If they were about drama and brought on stress, I distanced from them. However, I’ve come to realize many people do surround a person when they get sick, if it’s a short sickness or possibly a terminal one. Except when a person has a chronic illness, an invisible illness and/or one that is long-term, so many people tend to drift away. Part of me thinks it’s because some just get busy in their own life as time goes on. Others don’t want to take the time to accommodate your never-ending illness. Then there are always those few who choose not to take the time to see what’s considered invisible yet is so visible to you. Although it makes me sad to have these relationships come to an end, it has also made me realize that these relationships weren’t as true as I thought. I try to remind myself that it’s their loss because I am a wonderful person worthy of what I give, to have that same love and care reciprocated. I will never need nor want sympathy from a family member or a friend, but if someone has love and compassion to give I welcome them into my life, just as I value my family and friends that have remained true to our relationship and stuck by my side at a time in my life when I need them most even more then I already did. To each of them, thank you! To each of you reading this and understanding exactly what I’m saying because you’ve been there, it’s their loss because you’re worth what you give! We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor here . Lead photo by Thinkstock Images

How Fibromyalgia Affects Your Friendships

Living with chronic back pain has been a challenge to say the least. Then finding out I was extremely exhausted and my body physically ached and hurt so badly because I have fibromyalgia was devastating for me to grasp and over time learn to live with, I’m still learning. It’s times like this that we need our loved ones a little bit more. However, when you’ve always been the caregiver in your relationships, you sometimes find out that the majority of the people you’ve surrounded yourself with are not the caregiver type and sadly they start to fade away until they no longer exist in your life. From being employed as a caregiver to always being that friend everyone came to for advice or for a shoulder or an ear, caregiving has always been a natural instinct in me. As a wife and mother, these are the roles I take the greatest amount of pride in. I’ve never really been the type to ask for help; I’ve always been self-sufficient and honestly I’d normally rather do things on my own because then they get done to my level of perfection. Some friendships faded and some family members distanced themselves over time as I began to put myself and my health first. If they were about drama and brought on stress, I distanced from them. However, I’ve come to realize many people do surround a person when they get sick, if it’s a short sickness or possibly a terminal one. Except when a person has a chronic illness, an invisible illness and/or one that is long-term, so many people tend to drift away. Part of me thinks it’s because some just get busy in their own life as time goes on. Others don’t want to take the time to accommodate your never-ending illness. Then there are always those few who choose not to take the time to see what’s considered invisible yet is so visible to you. Although it makes me sad to have these relationships come to an end, it has also made me realize that these relationships weren’t as true as I thought. I try to remind myself that it’s their loss because I am a wonderful person worthy of what I give, to have that same love and care reciprocated. I will never need nor want sympathy from a family member or a friend, but if someone has love and compassion to give I welcome them into my life, just as I value my family and friends that have remained true to our relationship and stuck by my side at a time in my life when I need them most even more then I already did. To each of them, thank you! To each of you reading this and understanding exactly what I’m saying because you’ve been there, it’s their loss because you’re worth what you give! We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor here . Lead photo by Thinkstock Images

How Fibromyalgia Affects Your Friendships

Living with chronic back pain has been a challenge to say the least. Then finding out I was extremely exhausted and my body physically ached and hurt so badly because I have fibromyalgia was devastating for me to grasp and over time learn to live with, I’m still learning. It’s times like this that we need our loved ones a little bit more. However, when you’ve always been the caregiver in your relationships, you sometimes find out that the majority of the people you’ve surrounded yourself with are not the caregiver type and sadly they start to fade away until they no longer exist in your life. From being employed as a caregiver to always being that friend everyone came to for advice or for a shoulder or an ear, caregiving has always been a natural instinct in me. As a wife and mother, these are the roles I take the greatest amount of pride in. I’ve never really been the type to ask for help; I’ve always been self-sufficient and honestly I’d normally rather do things on my own because then they get done to my level of perfection. Some friendships faded and some family members distanced themselves over time as I began to put myself and my health first. If they were about drama and brought on stress, I distanced from them. However, I’ve come to realize many people do surround a person when they get sick, if it’s a short sickness or possibly a terminal one. Except when a person has a chronic illness, an invisible illness and/or one that is long-term, so many people tend to drift away. Part of me thinks it’s because some just get busy in their own life as time goes on. Others don’t want to take the time to accommodate your never-ending illness. Then there are always those few who choose not to take the time to see what’s considered invisible yet is so visible to you. Although it makes me sad to have these relationships come to an end, it has also made me realize that these relationships weren’t as true as I thought. I try to remind myself that it’s their loss because I am a wonderful person worthy of what I give, to have that same love and care reciprocated. I will never need nor want sympathy from a family member or a friend, but if someone has love and compassion to give I welcome them into my life, just as I value my family and friends that have remained true to our relationship and stuck by my side at a time in my life when I need them most even more then I already did. To each of them, thank you! To each of you reading this and understanding exactly what I’m saying because you’ve been there, it’s their loss because you’re worth what you give! We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor here . Lead photo by Thinkstock Images

How Fibromyalgia Affects Your Friendships

Living with chronic back pain has been a challenge to say the least. Then finding out I was extremely exhausted and my body physically ached and hurt so badly because I have fibromyalgia was devastating for me to grasp and over time learn to live with, I’m still learning. It’s times like this that we need our loved ones a little bit more. However, when you’ve always been the caregiver in your relationships, you sometimes find out that the majority of the people you’ve surrounded yourself with are not the caregiver type and sadly they start to fade away until they no longer exist in your life. From being employed as a caregiver to always being that friend everyone came to for advice or for a shoulder or an ear, caregiving has always been a natural instinct in me. As a wife and mother, these are the roles I take the greatest amount of pride in. I’ve never really been the type to ask for help; I’ve always been self-sufficient and honestly I’d normally rather do things on my own because then they get done to my level of perfection. Some friendships faded and some family members distanced themselves over time as I began to put myself and my health first. If they were about drama and brought on stress, I distanced from them. However, I’ve come to realize many people do surround a person when they get sick, if it’s a short sickness or possibly a terminal one. Except when a person has a chronic illness, an invisible illness and/or one that is long-term, so many people tend to drift away. Part of me thinks it’s because some just get busy in their own life as time goes on. Others don’t want to take the time to accommodate your never-ending illness. Then there are always those few who choose not to take the time to see what’s considered invisible yet is so visible to you. Although it makes me sad to have these relationships come to an end, it has also made me realize that these relationships weren’t as true as I thought. I try to remind myself that it’s their loss because I am a wonderful person worthy of what I give, to have that same love and care reciprocated. I will never need nor want sympathy from a family member or a friend, but if someone has love and compassion to give I welcome them into my life, just as I value my family and friends that have remained true to our relationship and stuck by my side at a time in my life when I need them most even more then I already did. To each of them, thank you! To each of you reading this and understanding exactly what I’m saying because you’ve been there, it’s their loss because you’re worth what you give! We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor here . Lead photo by Thinkstock Images

How Fibromyalgia Affects Your Friendships

Living with chronic back pain has been a challenge to say the least. Then finding out I was extremely exhausted and my body physically ached and hurt so badly because I have fibromyalgia was devastating for me to grasp and over time learn to live with, I’m still learning. It’s times like this that we need our loved ones a little bit more. However, when you’ve always been the caregiver in your relationships, you sometimes find out that the majority of the people you’ve surrounded yourself with are not the caregiver type and sadly they start to fade away until they no longer exist in your life. From being employed as a caregiver to always being that friend everyone came to for advice or for a shoulder or an ear, caregiving has always been a natural instinct in me. As a wife and mother, these are the roles I take the greatest amount of pride in. I’ve never really been the type to ask for help; I’ve always been self-sufficient and honestly I’d normally rather do things on my own because then they get done to my level of perfection. Some friendships faded and some family members distanced themselves over time as I began to put myself and my health first. If they were about drama and brought on stress, I distanced from them. However, I’ve come to realize many people do surround a person when they get sick, if it’s a short sickness or possibly a terminal one. Except when a person has a chronic illness, an invisible illness and/or one that is long-term, so many people tend to drift away. Part of me thinks it’s because some just get busy in their own life as time goes on. Others don’t want to take the time to accommodate your never-ending illness. Then there are always those few who choose not to take the time to see what’s considered invisible yet is so visible to you. Although it makes me sad to have these relationships come to an end, it has also made me realize that these relationships weren’t as true as I thought. I try to remind myself that it’s their loss because I am a wonderful person worthy of what I give, to have that same love and care reciprocated. I will never need nor want sympathy from a family member or a friend, but if someone has love and compassion to give I welcome them into my life, just as I value my family and friends that have remained true to our relationship and stuck by my side at a time in my life when I need them most even more then I already did. To each of them, thank you! To each of you reading this and understanding exactly what I’m saying because you’ve been there, it’s their loss because you’re worth what you give! We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor here . Lead photo by Thinkstock Images

How Fibromyalgia Affects Your Friendships

Living with chronic back pain has been a challenge to say the least. Then finding out I was extremely exhausted and my body physically ached and hurt so badly because I have fibromyalgia was devastating for me to grasp and over time learn to live with, I’m still learning. It’s times like this that we need our loved ones a little bit more. However, when you’ve always been the caregiver in your relationships, you sometimes find out that the majority of the people you’ve surrounded yourself with are not the caregiver type and sadly they start to fade away until they no longer exist in your life. From being employed as a caregiver to always being that friend everyone came to for advice or for a shoulder or an ear, caregiving has always been a natural instinct in me. As a wife and mother, these are the roles I take the greatest amount of pride in. I’ve never really been the type to ask for help; I’ve always been self-sufficient and honestly I’d normally rather do things on my own because then they get done to my level of perfection. Some friendships faded and some family members distanced themselves over time as I began to put myself and my health first. If they were about drama and brought on stress, I distanced from them. However, I’ve come to realize many people do surround a person when they get sick, if it’s a short sickness or possibly a terminal one. Except when a person has a chronic illness, an invisible illness and/or one that is long-term, so many people tend to drift away. Part of me thinks it’s because some just get busy in their own life as time goes on. Others don’t want to take the time to accommodate your never-ending illness. Then there are always those few who choose not to take the time to see what’s considered invisible yet is so visible to you. Although it makes me sad to have these relationships come to an end, it has also made me realize that these relationships weren’t as true as I thought. I try to remind myself that it’s their loss because I am a wonderful person worthy of what I give, to have that same love and care reciprocated. I will never need nor want sympathy from a family member or a friend, but if someone has love and compassion to give I welcome them into my life, just as I value my family and friends that have remained true to our relationship and stuck by my side at a time in my life when I need them most even more then I already did. To each of them, thank you! To each of you reading this and understanding exactly what I’m saying because you’ve been there, it’s their loss because you’re worth what you give! We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor here . Lead photo by Thinkstock Images

A Response to Those Who Judge Me for Having Fun With Chronic Pain

  Having any type of chronic pain condition can make it difficult to find the time and energy for fun. As if this isn’t enough, then we often face the judgement of others when they notice us out in public appearing to have a good day. Yet little do they know we’re still struggling, but we’ve chosen to push forward with a smile on our face to attempt to cover up our pain. Trying our best to enjoy ourselves no matter the price we’ll pay. As a woman, freshly 40, living with multiple chronic pain conditions I still want to live life to the fullest as so many others do, too. My conditions already limit me, therefore I refuse to allow other people’s judgment to limit me even more. We owe no one an explanation for our enjoyment! I’ve always enjoyed baking. Baking for my family and baking for the holidays. I’m proud of my baking skills and I’ve been known to post pictures of my goodies on Facebook for family and friends to see. Unfortunately I’ve also endured the judgement from family because of these photos. Just because you talk to a family member and they tell you how bad I’m feeling doesn’t mean I’m not. I think about my husband and children, how they deserve to enjoy homemade goodies. I say quite often, “I’m not ready to lay down and die, I’m fighting back each day to live and do the things I enjoy most!” Instead of judging me, be proud of me for living! I’m the typical woman; I love a day of shopping in the city at all my favorite stores. You have no idea what it takes for me to just get out of bed in the morning let alone ride an hour from home, shop ’til I drop and then ride that hour back home. I sometimes pay the price for days after. I’m just trying to “live,” I’m not asking to be judged. Instead of judging me for enjoying a day of shopping, praise me for putting both feet on the floor each morning, a smile on my face and going when my body wanted to stay in bed. Being on the water is one of my utmost favorite places to be. Aside from the time it gives me with my husband doing something we both greatly enjoy, fishing, it also provides the peace, relaxation and tranquility I sometimes need just to calm my mind. I might have to ice my spine later that night or plug in my heating pad, but rather then passing judgment, be happy that after 12 years married my husband and I are still making time to do the things we love together. The big “Black Friday” shopping event has always been one of my favorite things to do each year around the holidays. Anyone who knows me knows being a savvy saver is something I take pride in. Having chronic back pain and fibromyalgia definitely make this event a difficult one for me however I refuse to allow it to take away from me being a part of the savings. Besides, with me being disabled and unable to work it’s a great way to get my loved ones some great Christmas gifts and save some money while doing it. You might see me standing in line for an hour waiting for a game my son wants, but what you don’t see is the severe back pain I feel on the way home or the muscle spasms my body hits me with because I’m trying my hardest to “live” with fibromyalgia. I’m trying to give to my family and at the same time save some money that my husband solely works hard for to provide for his family. Instead of judging me, ask me about all the great deals I got or praise me for putting others wants in front of my needs. For our most recent wedding anniversary my husband bought me the gift of acrylic nails. This was my first experience with acrylics ever so I had no idea that having fibromyalgia could and would effect my great gift. Just from the heavy filing to shape and even my nails I found my fingers in horrible pain at the end of the day. My arms felt as if they were plugged into a light socket with nerve ending pain sparking throughout them. My point is, sometimes those of us who have a chronic pain condition don’t even know what the condition will lead us to, so please don’t judge. I can tell you this is a gift that I never want again because there are some prices not worth paying; this for me is one of them. However, for as long as I am breathing I will continue to have fun, try new things and make the choice for myself whether or not it’s worth the price I’ll pay so that I can continue to “live.” My hope for you is for you to think twice about judging me or anyone else living with a chronic pain condition. Living with any type of chronic pain condition is an extremely difficult task, let alone dealing with the judgement that can come with it. We shouldn’t be judged by anyone, let alone feel guilty for trying our very best to live. A person can never fully say what they would do when put in a situation until they are 100 percent fully in it themselves. So to the onlookers watching our every move, please don’t judge us for attempting to have some fun, enjoy our life and live with the chronic pain we didn’t choose to have. To those of you living with any type of chronic pain condition(s), don’t ever apologize for having fun or attempting to live your life that has been changed by chronic pain. You’ve chosen to keep on living and this my friend makes you a survivor, not one to be judged for trying to “live.” We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor here . Lead photo by Thinkstock Images