I started to feel better now. I am taking medications like I am supposed to.
I started doing a lot of exercise and sometimes sprinting to get myself tired, and started to listen to relaxing yoga-related and relaxing songs, to help myself calm down, and help myself to go to sleep.
Mistakes I made:
* Listening to very hyperactive songs, that keeps me awake at night, and not get enough oxygen in my brain, that caused mild hallucinations, but without anosognosia.
* Not going outside as much, doing sports and being on the computer too much, talking about myself, causing transient schizotypal, paranoid traits and narcissism.
I am learning self-discipline, and I am trying my best to turn my life around and develop self-love for myself. I also found betterhelp.com that can help me develop self-esteem and learn not to be suicidal.
It takes time, but I am getting there.
Thank you! I appreciate your help.