wildcanary72

@wildcanary72
Community Voices

What is your relationship with #Cancer?

<p>What is your <a href="https://themighty.com/topic/relationships/?label=relationship" class="tm-embed-link  tm-autolink health-map" data-id="5b23ceb100553f33fe99b6a2" data-name="relationship" title="relationship" target="_blank">relationship</a> with <a class="tm-topic-link mighty-topic" title="Cancer" href="/topic/cancer/" data-id="5b23ce6a00553f33fe98f050" data-name="Cancer" aria-label="hashtag Cancer">#Cancer</a>?</p>
271 people are talking about this
Community Voices

The BPD stigma

I have struggled with BPD for a very long time now as well as PTSD and the entire plethora of symptoms that come with with both. I spent the past 10 years of my life working at a treatment center for young men and women struggling with substance abuse problems. I kept what I struggled with hidden but one interaction stuck out to me and still does after all these years and influenced me to be more open with my mental illness. It was about 4 years ago and one of my coworker was working with one of our clients who had a BPD diagnosis. She came up to me clearly frustrated. She said, “That crazy b$&ch! I swear these people with BPD are all crazy and they all need to be exterminated. They all just need to be lined up and shot against a wall.” I just stood there and listened to her. I was dumbstruck. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I was frozen. She had no idea that she was talking to someone who also had BPD. I spoke to my boss and expressed my feeling on the interaction. She was let go by the company the next day. In all honesty I was ashamed that I didn’t say something to her. I felt like I had let the whole mental health community down by not standing up to her. I finally accepted that it was all in the past but I swore after that, that I was going to be more open about my mental illness and be open to having discussions about it. It’s painful to know that myself and other who suffer from BPD are demonized and dehumanized in such a grotesque way. I hope in the future to start a type of mental health advocacy group with a BPD focus. #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

5 people are talking about this
Community Voices

Being real

<p>Being real</p>
65 people are talking about this
Community Voices

I’am not letting your life slip away.

<p>I’am not letting your life slip away.</p>
94 people are talking about this
Community Voices

I’am not letting your life slip away.

<p>I’am not letting your life slip away.</p>
94 people are talking about this
Community Voices

My family don't care about me after my admission of childhood sexual abuse and incest.

Almost eight years ago to the day, in a situation that's too complicated to explain, I was forced to tell my family about the sexual abuse and incest I experienced as a child. The incestuous element was a very close family member.

I often fantasised about what might happen if I ever revealed my past. I felt neglected as a child, was abandoned by my mother in my early teens, and brought up by numerous nannies and au pairs who came and went like the wind. I can only really remember one of them clearly. I had at least ten.

My revelations caused massive shock waves through the family, and respective step family members. I was immediately vilified, disbelieved, told to recount every detail of what happened, and branded a liar.

What I had always dreamed of happening if I ever revealed my truth, simply cemented my thoughts about my childhood. That I had never been emotionally validated, although I never experienced hardship or poverty in any other ways. My dad actually said "why on earth would you accuse me of any kind of neglect, you had a comfortable home, holidays abroad every year, etc. He was so far away from the point it's almost unbelievable.

He was so angry about my revelations. Demanding that I did this and that. And when I refused, saying that I was feeling traumatised and extremely vulnerable, he accused me of not having any story to tell.

At the time that this information came out, I had just received my second diagnosis of recurrent breast cancer. I was told that I was attention seeking. I said that if I was, didn't they think that receiving a diagnosis of recurrent breast cancer would be enough? And how badly they must think of me if they believe I'm sick enough to make up stories like that for attention?

They told me that I'm mentally unstable, and God knows what goes on in my head. I forgot to mention that a couple of months previous to all of this I had made a serious suicide attempt and been in a women's mental health unit.

Ironically, if that's the right word, I wished at the time that my cancer had come back because it is so much easier to deal with than my mental health illness.

My daughter graduated from University on Thursday with a first class honours degree in Applied Psychology. I mentioned to my family that I must be doing something right because she is the most wonderful, well adjusted, caring, generous, kind, funny, beautiful person, and surely some of that must be due to my parenting, as a single parent I might add. They said nothing, and then muttered, obviously about me, after my comment.

So I realised that because of my disabilities, and reliance on benefits, they might be thinking that they played more of a role in her getting her degree than I did. So I left a message on Facebook, for everyone to see, thanking them for all their support and said that she/ we couldn't have done it without them. Nothing. My dad brought Ella back from her uni house the other day, he barely stayed more than 5 minutes after unloading her stuff. He didn't even ask me how I was.

I feel abandoned all over again. Except this time it hurts more. The family member in question denied everything and has told everyone I'm insane. Goodness knows what effect this could have on my daughter. When everything came out, she was going to a festival. She came back with drug induced psychosis.

What should I do, where do I turn to for help? Just talking to someone who has had a similar experience would be a great comfort. Thanks

5 people are talking about this
Community Voices

My family don't care about me after my admission of childhood sexual abuse and incest.

Almost eight years ago to the day, in a situation that's too complicated to explain, I was forced to tell my family about the sexual abuse and incest I experienced as a child. The incestuous element was a very close family member.

I often fantasised about what might happen if I ever revealed my past. I felt neglected as a child, was abandoned by my mother in my early teens, and brought up by numerous nannies and au pairs who came and went like the wind. I can only really remember one of them clearly. I had at least ten.

My revelations caused massive shock waves through the family, and respective step family members. I was immediately vilified, disbelieved, told to recount every detail of what happened, and branded a liar.

What I had always dreamed of happening if I ever revealed my truth, simply cemented my thoughts about my childhood. That I had never been emotionally validated, although I never experienced hardship or poverty in any other ways. My dad actually said "why on earth would you accuse me of any kind of neglect, you had a comfortable home, holidays abroad every year, etc. He was so far away from the point it's almost unbelievable.

He was so angry about my revelations. Demanding that I did this and that. And when I refused, saying that I was feeling traumatised and extremely vulnerable, he accused me of not having any story to tell.

At the time that this information came out, I had just received my second diagnosis of recurrent breast cancer. I was told that I was attention seeking. I said that if I was, didn't they think that receiving a diagnosis of recurrent breast cancer would be enough? And how badly they must think of me if they believe I'm sick enough to make up stories like that for attention?

They told me that I'm mentally unstable, and God knows what goes on in my head. I forgot to mention that a couple of months previous to all of this I had made a serious suicide attempt and been in a women's mental health unit.

Ironically, if that's the right word, I wished at the time that my cancer had come back because it is so much easier to deal with than my mental health illness.

My daughter graduated from University on Thursday with a first class honours degree in Applied Psychology. I mentioned to my family that I must be doing something right because she is the most wonderful, well adjusted, caring, generous, kind, funny, beautiful person, and surely some of that must be due to my parenting, as a single parent I might add. They said nothing, and then muttered, obviously about me, after my comment.

So I realised that because of my disabilities, and reliance on benefits, they might be thinking that they played more of a role in her getting her degree than I did. So I left a message on Facebook, for everyone to see, thanking them for all their support and said that she/ we couldn't have done it without them. Nothing. My dad brought Ella back from her uni house the other day, he barely stayed more than 5 minutes after unloading her stuff. He didn't even ask me how I was.

I feel abandoned all over again. Except this time it hurts more. The family member in question denied everything and has told everyone I'm insane. Goodness knows what effect this could have on my daughter. When everything came out, she was going to a festival. She came back with drug induced psychosis.

What should I do, where do I turn to for help? Just talking to someone who has had a similar experience would be a great comfort. Thanks

5 people are talking about this

What Doctors Don’t Tell You About Eczema

It’s a common misconception that conditions like eczema, or atopic dermatitis (AD), and psoriasis are “only” skin conditions. To make things more confusing, eczema is also frequently confused with psoriasis, if you’re not familiar with the differentiators. However eczema is much more than “just” a skin issue. An estimated 31.6 million people live with some form of eczema in the U.S., which equates to about 10% of the entire population . Common symptoms include severe itching, skin redness and dryness, and all three of these side effects can greatly impact quality of life and self-esteem for those living with the condition. For these reasons, eczema not only affects the skin, but it can also play a role in someone’s perception of self and mental health. AD in adults has also been linked to other chronic conditions, including diabetes, autoimmune disorders, high blood pressure and heart disease. So yes, eczema can be much more than just a skin condition; however these comorbidities aren’t always discussed when getting diagnosed. We talked to members of the Mighty community who live with eczema to see what else they wished their doctors told them about life with eczema. If you think you may have eczema, keep these responses in mind, and bring any followup questions to your doctor: 1. “That it can be long-term and that it might not be an easy fix. My daughter is 13 and [still struggles with it].” One estimate , which included 2,000 patients with moderate-to-severe AD, found that patients spend, on average, one to three days in flare (described as a “sudden worsening of symptoms”). In some cases, this can work out to nine flares a year, lasting 15 days each time. 2. “I wish doctors had told me about the mental health aspect of having a chronic illness and in particular a skin disorder. Perhaps I would have been able to make more sense of how I was feeling then and not so lonely. I wish I had been given some context for my medical condition, for example it’s commonality, so I didn’t feel so alone.” A recent study from the National Eczema Foundation revealed that more than 30% of people living with AD were also diagnosed with depression and/or anxiety. In fact, depression is considered an official comorbidity to eczema. 3. “I wish they’d mentioned that it can flare up when the weather changes.” Another study conducted in the Swiss high-mountain area did find a correlation between itch severity and “meteorological conditions.” Translation? Certain weather elements can impact the skin’s comfort and should be considered when addressing seasonal flareups. 4. “[I wish I knew] how hand sanitizer, certain soap and stress can make my eczema worse.” In the age of COVID-19, this one feels especially paramount. Traditional hand sanitizers can tend to dry out the skin due to their alcohol content, so it’s important to practice proper skin care and consult your doctor to find what works best for your condition. In terms of stress, there is definitely a connection between elevated stress levels and flareups. 5. “[I also wish I knew about] the connection to eczema and lung issues [like asthma].” It’s possible that eczema and asthma have a causal relationship, meaning that one might influence the other. According to one study, eczema could be an early sign of developing asthma down the line, but further research needs to be conducted in this area.

Community Voices
Community Voices