Janet Bean

@yahvebean
Happily married and was diagnosed with a mental illness a couple years back. The reason I created this profile was because I wanted my story to influence others and be able to help if needed. Please keep it respectful.
Community Voices
Community Voices

A mother again #PostpartumDepression

Just something I thought earlier today and wanted to share here.

Becoming a PT working new mom from being a single FT working mom for 9 years is a really big difference. Less stress and less hours of work but with a 9 month old baby girl now. When COVID hit in 2020 I met my bf on a dating app who now is my husband. I wasn’t expecting anything serious usually because I end up meeting the wrong men but this time was different. I decided to accept the date and from our first day I never left his house. I told him about my depression even though it might push him away but he decided to stay with me and learn from it in order to help me. We got engaged soon after and married. Planned our first child together until the pregnancy was not as easy as I thought it would be. It became high risk and my job was demanding me to work in the same fast speed but I couldn’t. I got on disability until the baby was born and went on maternity leave soon after. I was so depressed throughout my whole pregnancy and scared of what might happen to her more than myself. She finally came at 28 weeks and in the nicu for 2 months. I decided to start working part time and just watch after her when I got off work.

It was so hard at first and some days I just felt down and depressed that I used to just ignore everyone even started not to answer my husbands phone calls and always argued about every little thing. I was having really bad headaches and whenever my daughter cried it will get worse. I went back to therapy and my pills but after 2 months I started to gain weight so my Doctor wanted me to stop it for a bit and just continue with therapy. Honestly it quit everything and I started to workout because I got very tired easily and I felt it was my weights fault.

I started to feel more energetic and then work on my Mental health looking for ways to help myself without these medications and therapy. Mostly my whole day is focused on my daughter and when she’s asleep I write on a journal or think of topics for a blog. I clean, I cook, I sing and play with her, I give her a bath and do her hair, do laundry and sometimes look at TV shows when I have alone time. I try to workout but she takes 5–15 minute naps during the day so it’s impossible to do that.

It’s so hard at 35 years old to become a mom again because it’s not the same as when at my 20s. I’m more tired, exhausted, mentally drained, too many headaches, overeating with the stress and not having time to take a shower. Becoming a mother once more is very hard on some but very loving because it will take your mind of your thoughts and focused on someone else’s. So now I’m ending thi story because I can keep going for hours.

Good luck to all the new mommies duringthis COVID times. And those suffering with depression, I just want to say to you that “you got this and never give up.” Someone is always watching you and there’s people willing to help. If you need support just reach out. #MentalHealth #Pregnancy #Depression

2 people are talking about this
Community Voices

A mother again #PostpartumDepression

Just something I thought earlier today and wanted to share here.

Becoming a PT working new mom from being a single FT working mom for 9 years is a really big difference. Less stress and less hours of work but with a 9 month old baby girl now. When COVID hit in 2020 I met my bf on a dating app who now is my husband. I wasn’t expecting anything serious usually because I end up meeting the wrong men but this time was different. I decided to accept the date and from our first day I never left his house. I told him about my depression even though it might push him away but he decided to stay with me and learn from it in order to help me. We got engaged soon after and married. Planned our first child together until the pregnancy was not as easy as I thought it would be. It became high risk and my job was demanding me to work in the same fast speed but I couldn’t. I got on disability until the baby was born and went on maternity leave soon after. I was so depressed throughout my whole pregnancy and scared of what might happen to her more than myself. She finally came at 28 weeks and in the nicu for 2 months. I decided to start working part time and just watch after her when I got off work.

It was so hard at first and some days I just felt down and depressed that I used to just ignore everyone even started not to answer my husbands phone calls and always argued about every little thing. I was having really bad headaches and whenever my daughter cried it will get worse. I went back to therapy and my pills but after 2 months I started to gain weight so my Doctor wanted me to stop it for a bit and just continue with therapy. Honestly it quit everything and I started to workout because I got very tired easily and I felt it was my weights fault.

I started to feel more energetic and then work on my Mental health looking for ways to help myself without these medications and therapy. Mostly my whole day is focused on my daughter and when she’s asleep I write on a journal or think of topics for a blog. I clean, I cook, I sing and play with her, I give her a bath and do her hair, do laundry and sometimes look at TV shows when I have alone time. I try to workout but she takes 5–15 minute naps during the day so it’s impossible to do that.

It’s so hard at 35 years old to become a mom again because it’s not the same as when at my 20s. I’m more tired, exhausted, mentally drained, too many headaches, overeating with the stress and not having time to take a shower. Becoming a mother once more is very hard on some but very loving because it will take your mind of your thoughts and focused on someone else’s. So now I’m ending thi story because I can keep going for hours.

Good luck to all the new mommies duringthis COVID times. And those suffering with depression, I just want to say to you that “you got this and never give up.” Someone is always watching you and there’s people willing to help. If you need support just reach out. #MentalHealth #Pregnancy #Depression

2 people are talking about this
Community Voices

× " TRUST Issue's And Forming Realtionship's " × #Topic #Trust Issue's

× " Now I'm Starting To Get Hit On By Men... And It's OK I Guess... What I'm Trying To Explain Is.. That When Men Especially Younger Men.. Come Up To Chat With Me Etc.. My Feeling's Go Into Shut-Down... And My Ptsd Start's Forming A Wall To Protect My Heart And Emotion's... And Plus My Red Flag Bell's Go Off... To Stay Away... I'm Like Legit Scared To Date Again... Because I Have Been Out Of It For 17 Year's... So Idk What It's Like To Have An Actaul Boyfriend... And I'm Terrified That I Will Not Be Good At It Anymore... Because People Nowaday's Are So Picky And Superficial About Look's Etc... I Don't Have Long Hair... Or Colored Eyes... I'am Simply Me.. All Natural Not Fake... I'm Shy And Quite... I Keep To Myself... Until I Feel Very Comfortable In Getting To Knowing Someone Which Might Take Awhile For Me... I Don't Like The Idea Of Realtionship Hopping... Or Sleeping With Someone On The 1st Night... I Know Buzz Kill... I Would Also Just Love For Someone To Just Be Fully Honest Within Themselve's... But This Journey Will Be Hard For Me To Begin.... " × #Topic #Trust Issue's ☆▪︎☆☆ S. K. ☆☆▪︎☆

9 people are talking about this
Community Voices

Going cold Turkey #Bipolar2Disorder

I decided to go cold Turkey about a month ago on my depression pills right after they took me off of it for 2 weeks. #BipolarDepression is not easy to deal with alone and specially not with a baby on hand. I started to gain allot of weight and was having really bad heartburn so they stop my medications for a while. #Depression kept coming in and out of my mind without a time or date unexpectedly. I hate, I really do but I started to feel insecure about my weight. I went cold Turkey on my meds and it’s been about 2 plus months now and all I’ve been doing is writing on a journal. It’s helping after all and every day right after waking up I read or write over them. I’m sure if it helps me then it helps you. #BipolarDisorder #Depression #PTSD #Trauma #Suicide #MentalHealthAwareness please if any of these you have talk to professional people. I know we all have different ways of coping but we can all find ways to help one another if one doesn’t work then there’s more tries. Thank you

2 people are talking about this
Community Voices

Going cold Turkey #Bipolar2Disorder

I decided to go cold Turkey about a month ago on my depression pills right after they took me off of it for 2 weeks. #BipolarDepression is not easy to deal with alone and specially not with a baby on hand. I started to gain allot of weight and was having really bad heartburn so they stop my medications for a while. #Depression kept coming in and out of my mind without a time or date unexpectedly. I hate, I really do but I started to feel insecure about my weight. I went cold Turkey on my meds and it’s been about 2 plus months now and all I’ve been doing is writing on a journal. It’s helping after all and every day right after waking up I read or write over them. I’m sure if it helps me then it helps you. #BipolarDisorder #Depression #PTSD #Trauma #Suicide #MentalHealthAwareness please if any of these you have talk to professional people. I know we all have different ways of coping but we can all find ways to help one another if one doesn’t work then there’s more tries. Thank you

2 people are talking about this
Community Voices
MmjA

Anyone struggling through a med dose change right now?I just want the combination to be right and to function without panic attacks.

I had the right doses for everything it seemed for a long time. Then I got Covid in December, fter being super deligent about prevention. January I needed to have a dose increase of one of them. I had some good months and things seemed to even out ...then it didn't. So here I be struggling through another increase of the other which is seeming like a lot right now. #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #MajorDepressiveDisorder (those 2 go hand in hand) Looking for those who get it and can cheer me on through the process! ♡

7 people are talking about this
Community Voices
Community Voices

Sophia baby girl

A sweet bundle of joy wrapped in a pink blanket with a big bow over your forehead and pink tiny socks that still don’t fit those tiny feet. Born a 28 weeker but you made it strong girl. I couldn’t be any happier.
It doesn't bother me staying up all night while your still awake not being able to fall asleep
Getting up every hour or so to change your dirty diapers
A little whiny because your hungry and want to feed
Sleepless nights, early mornings waking up every hour or two

Because I'm a MOTHER and I will do it for you
Because I also have the maternity mentality and won’t complain at all, it’s my job and you are my piece of heart.
Holding you in my arms all day, swaddling you to sleep and be able to keep you calm if I need to. Even though I’m dying of sleep and paralyzed on my knee,
Taking quick baths to come back to you so you won’t wake up and cry because nobody is around.
Being sleepy for the rest of the day and night because you've kept me up all night,
yes “MOTHER” that's what I am.
#MomGuilt #PostpartumDepression #Depression

1 person is talking about this
Community Voices

I don’t know about anyone else but sometimes every little thing bothers me. The noise of someone else munching on food, breathing hard, tapping the spoon on the bowl, even seeing that I have to keep cleaning every single day. Maybe a bit of #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder not sure but it’s scary and annoying. Not wanting to feel or let it bother my head but it urks the brain with headaches every time.
Can this stop? Will it stop eventually? I’m always upset, always mad, annoyed by every person who speaks. What is it? Having #Bipolar2Disorder doesn’t make it easier. If maybe I was deaf would it be best at all? Will it change or will there be more problems mentally or physically…my #MentalHealth isn’t helping either. Just rumbling with my brains thoughts. #MentalHealthStigma Stay steering and think straight. Take your meds and go to therapy. Make friends, don’t drink and get some air. #Anxiety #PTSD you won’t go away as much as I wish. Forever you’ll stay but stronger I’ll retain.

18 people are talking about this