Zelda__

@zelda__
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So I went to look up how to decrease suicidal ideation, then found this app. Since I've been having suicidal ideation a lot for the past few months. Mostly passive but they were really high yesterday. I have a lot of trauma, have been emotionally abused.

I'm in a PHP program and I just wanna get better, even tho I constantly feel awful about myself since I've been with a narcassitic abuser for 5 years. I cut him off a few months ago, so my mental health just spiraled. I also thought I was over him since we broke up in 2019, but remained friends until recently. But I wasn't over him, I still loved him. I just suppressed it. Was pretty obvious too since I got jealous, constantly wanted to please him and was obsessed with him. Was not healthy but I was able to cut him off.

I really just wanna be happy with myself again after dealing with all his invalidation for so long. I just feel worthless. Like nobody is gonna want me even in a platonic relationship.

So it affects me a lot. I just hope I can fully heal from it. I wish one day I can find someone who makes me happy in a healthy relationship. #Abuse #Upset #New

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