I’m in recovery for cancer.

But that doesn’t mean I’m better.

What Being in Recovery for Cancer Really Means

Recovery mean the ‘what if’s.’

What is I hadn’t gotten cancer?

What if the cancer comes back?

What if I’m not really ‘better?’

What if my body is beyond repair?

What if people treat me differently?

It mean intentionally feeding a mental illness that fills up with terrible thoughts.

Maybe next time I won’t be so luckily

Maybe I’m not as strong as I thought I was.

Maybe I deserved to get cancer.

Maybe I’ll never get my shit together.

Maybe someone I love will get cancer.

It means feeling guilty for serving when others have not.

It means forever having emotional and physical scars.

It means constant checkups and accepting a new ‘normal.’

It means anxiously awaiting unknown test results.

It means being prepared for what could happen again.

I may be in recovery for cancer.

But there is so much more going on.

Sometimes I need a helping hand to remind me of my strength.

And that I can face whatever comes my way.