Why I Don't Regret Having PTSD, OCD and Depression in My Life
Dear PTSD, OCD and Depression:
Iâve known you all for a long time, even when I didnât understand you.
I knew you were there for me, just not in the way a friend would have been.
I learned to ignore all three of you with the help of alcohol.
For many years I thought I was just drinking to have fun. In reality I was drinking to forget and cope with the evil roots youâd planted in me.
Post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), you were a tough one to learn to face. Since I was a kid, I let you get into my head and dictate my life. I had many sleepless nights because of you, and I learned to surrender to your thoughts. In a way, you made me feel like I didnât deserve to live.
Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), I know I used to make fun of the fact that I couldnât function without you, and in a way, thatâs how it was. But you also allowed me to have some control of the things PSTD wouldnât allow me to control. So I donât really dislike you all that much. I just wish you hadnât been so persistent.
Depression, you were always there, almost dormant. You invited yourself to be a part of my life a few years after Iâd stopped drinking. You brought so much pain; I almost let you take my life to void those feelings.
Despite the suffering and the pain you three imposed on me, I donât regret having you in my life. I know Iâm a better person because of what you put me through.
Because of you, I found myself, and with some good peopleâs help, I was shown how strong I am.
Youâve taught me to be compassionate and how to find a purpose and look at life with optimism.
Iâm thankful I didnât surrender to your perseverance and desire to fully control me.
Youâll always be a part of my past, present and future. But now youâre just a reminder of the struggles and triumphs. Iâm happy to tell you that I feel victorious and ready to help others overcome you. This is all because of your lessons.
Thank you for giving me a reason to be happy and be grateful.
“I am a survivor of domestic abusive as a child, I am a recovered alcohol abuser. I battle depression. But, I would not change a thing about it, it has shaped me into who I am today.â Julio manages Break The Stigma, to educate, encourage and inspire others about mental health issues and treatments in an effort to end stigma and foster hope.
julio-salazar