Avoidant Personality Disorder

Yup, it's Friday again.
This week went by both fast and slow for me.
I have made some very important progress in freeing myself from my ex.
With a lot of help from therapy.
And a lot of help from you all.
So thank you!
And:
However you got through the week; you got through the week.
And that's worth celebrating.
Maybe you wanna add a win, a glimmer, or something else in the comments?
As always; I'll get the ball rolling;)
Look very much forward to your shares!
Making this post is a highpoint in my week:)
#MightyTogether
#Support
#MentalHealth
#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder
#AvoidantPersonalityDisorder
#Depression
#Anxiety
#Burnout
#HighlysensitivePerson
(Picture from Google)

Once saw this on Pinterest:
"Be kind to yourself. It's difficult to have a good life if someone is mean to you all the time".
And it stuck with me.
Not that I always succeed in being kind to myself.
Far from it actually.
But even the longest journey begins with a single step.
So they all count!
I am often very hard on myself.
And usually it makes what ever turmoil I am going through worse...
I get to be in turmoil or emotional pain AND beat myself up about it AND blame myself for it.
But I am aware of this now.
And like Dr. Phil says: "You can't change what you don't acknowledge".
So that's another important step.
Knowing what I do that's not good for me and wanting to change it.
Now comes the work - luckily I have your support and this platform!
And I am very grateful for both.
#MightyTogether
#Support
#MentalHealth
#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder
#AvoidantPersonalityDisorder
#Depression
#Anxiety
#Burnout
#HighlysensitivePerson
(Picture from Pinterest)

I am finding that I am blaming myself quite harshly.
After my therapy session yesterday where I talked about how my abusive ex and our toxic relationship still affects me a decade later, I started to blame myself a lot.
Blaming myself for having stayed with him for 12 years.
Blaming myself for having "let" him treat me so badly.
Blaming myself for even thinking it was abuse when I know that so many others have gone through so much worse than me.
And then blaming myself for still being under his control and power.
It's been 12 years since I left him...
And I started to think, I was so pathetic.
But I don't want to treat myself like this!
If someone else was doing this to themselves, I would encourage them to show themselves understanding and compassion.
So maybe I should try that too?
#MightyTogether
#Support
#MentalHealth
#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder
#AvoidantPersonalityDisorder
#Depression
#Anxiety
#Burnout
#HighlysensitivePerson
(Picture from Pinterest)

I am going to individual therapy today.
And I made a list of examples, I have thought of since our last talk.
When I look at them it hits me that it's some very heavy stuff.
No wonder I am struggling.
But a friend applauded me for even making the list and preparing to talk about it.
I didn't even see it as a big step.
But now I do!
It's a big step in verbalizing how bad my ex treated me...
I've been in denial over it.
And it has festered in my mind and soul.
But I wish to be free of it.
Of him - as much as I can be.
I don't wish to be under his tyranny anymore.
And I am slowly making some progress.
#MightyTogether
#Support
#MentalHealth
#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder
#AvoidantPersonalityDisorder
#Depression
#Anxiety
#Burnout
#HighlysensitivePerson
(Picture from Pinterest)

I normally don't post during the weekend.
But this was very much on my mind.
We celebrate Mother's Day today in my country as well.
And it got me thinking about the many, many ways we can feel about being (or not being!) a mom and about our mothers.
This day contains multitudes because we as people contain multitudes.
I felt the need to send you all so much support and healing for whatever situation you find yourself in.
I for one have been a single mom to two boys for 13 years.
And I have serious mental health issues.
It has NOT been easy.
But today I feel blessed that I have managed as well as I have.
And I feel blessed to have my sweet sons.
However you are feeling today - you're not alone in feeling that way.
Sending love💕💐
#MightyTogether
#Support
#MentalHealth
#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder
#AvoidantPersonalityDisorder
#Depression
#Anxiety
#Burnout
#HighlysensitivePerson
#MothersDay
(Picture from Google)

Maybe you're like me and actually enjoy the ordinary days more than the weekend...
Maybe you prefer the weekend.
No matter what:
We made it another week!
And however you got through; you got through!
Do you want to take a moment to celebrate yourself - yes that's allowed and even encouraged here with me and us mighties - by sharing a win in the comments?
You can also share some experiences or gratitude.
Or maybe a glimmer.
As always, I'll get us started in the comments.
#MightyTogether
#Support
#MentalHealth
#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder
#AvoidantPersonalityDisorder
#Depression
#Anxiety
#Burnout
#HighlysensitivePerson
(Picture from Google)

Read an article about core beliefs.
And they add the backdrop to our emotional and psychological life.
Not a problem if they are positive ones.
If they build us up.
But it becomes a big problem when they are negative.
And they tear us apart.
I have recently discovered that I have some negative core beliefs that stand in the way of me implementing self-love.
And that made a lot click as to why I "just" can't love myself.
There is no "just" about it.
There is however a mountain of negative core beliefs standing in the way.
But I am working on healing them.
The first one being: I actually deserve self-love.
And so do you.
So maybe join me in sipping some self-love juice today?
#MightyTogether
#Support
#MentalHealth
#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder
#AvoidantPersonalityDisorder
#Depression
#Anxiety
#Burnout
#HighlysensitivePerson
(Picture from Pinterest)

Saw this quote on Pinterest and it made me think of you.
You all face some truly hard circumstances and live some truly challenging lifes.
It may be due to physical issues, mental health issues, or both!
And you - and I - have gotten through some TOUGH days.
Hard days, heavy days, impossible days.
But we're still here.
We're still kicking.
And we're still in it.
And even though my circumstances are still hard, I also get to experience beauty, light, and glimmers.
And for that, I am grateful.
#MightyTogether
#Support
#MentalHealth
#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder
#AvoidantPersonalityDisorder
#Depression
#Anxiety
#Burnout
#HighlysensitivePerson
(Picture from Pinterest)

So in my distorted mind a lot of what I do is a failure.
I fail. A lot.
Objectively I don't think I do.
But my mind twists everything.
So I have to VERY actively work on seeing the good, I do.
I have to maximize my wins in order to not skate over them.
And I have to remember that I do good.
And I have to very actively try to not be so hard on myself.
Grace and self-compassion.
That's something I am really trying to practice.
And the practice starts with actually remembering that I even have the option of showing myself grace and compassion.
Because I forget.
So here's to trying yet again.
And here's to wanting to believe that "failing" doesn't make you a "failure".
#MightyTogether
#Support
#MentalHealth
#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder
#AvoidantPersonalityDisorder
#Depression
#Anxiety
#Burnout
#HighlysensitivePerson
(Picture from Pinterest)

Pictures like this always make my quite relieved.
Because my energy is no longer for big efforts.
Or rather it's not good for me - the recovery time is way to long.
But smaller efforts; that I can do!
And seeing them visualized like this makes me feel better about my small, daily efforts.
They matter.
They accumulate.
They DO become something.
That's what I wanted to remind myself of for this coming week.
And maybe some of you could do with the reminder too?
#MightyTogether
#Support
#MentalHealth
#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder
#AvoidantPersonalityDisorder
#Depression
#Anxiety
#Burnout
#HighlysensitivePerson
(Picture from Pinterest)