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How empaths mirror their surrounding #c -PTSD #PTSD #HSP

"Because I am an empath, I see what you can't admit and I sense what you try to bury. I am the mirror you didn’t ask for, the one you can’t escape. You can try to hide your feelings, your intentions, your shadows—honey, I see them all. Your mask is cute, but it’s paper-thin to me. You can’t outsmart the energy that you radiate, and you can’t outrun the reflection I hold up for you.

Here’s the thing you need to know about empaths: We don’t just “feel a little more.” No, we absorb, digest, and inhabit the energy that pours out of you, whether you know it’s leaking or not. Your anxiety? Tastes bitter on my tongue. Your envy? Burns like a shot of cheap whiskey down my throat. Your unspoken heartbreak, your simmering rage, your secret shame—I pick up the scent and wear it like a second skin. I feel it all. I hold it all.

But don’t get it twisted. I am not your emotional dumping ground. I am not here for you to unload your garbage and walk away lighter while I stagger under the weight. No, darling. I’m the wild alchemist. I take in your energy, and I transform it. Sometimes I’ll carry it, but sometimes, when the moon is right and my spirit is on fire, I’ll send it right back to you—gift-wrapped in truth and unapologetic clarity.

You want to know why you feel uneasy around me? Why you get defensive, prickly, or even hostile in my presence? It’s not because I’m rude, or too much, or too intense. It’s because your inner world is showing up on the big screen—the one I hold up, bigger than life, for you to see. You feel exposed, vulnerable, naked. But that’s not my fault. That’s your own authenticity trying to claw its way out.

If you have traits you hate about yourself—the ones you stuff down, deep under layers of “I’m fine” and “It’s nothing”—they rise up like smoke in my presence. I don’t have to say a word. My energy pulls your truth to the surface. You can glare, you can gossip, you can throw shade. But the only thing I’m guilty of is holding up a mirror.

I am the reminder that no matter how hard you try to hide, energy never lies. You can script your words, rehearse your smile, perfect your handshake—none of it matters to an empath. We read the language of the soul, the dialect of the heart, the dialect you forgot you were speaking.

You say I’m “too sensitive,” but maybe you’re just too detached from your own feelings. You say I “take things too personally,” but maybe you’re just uncomfortable that someone can see behind your walls. You say I’m “intense,” but that’s what it feels like to walk around with your truth echoing in my bones.

I am not here to make you comfortable. I am not here to soothe your ego or tiptoe around your wounds. I am here to light up your darkness and call out your shadows. I am the storm that shakes loose your secrets, the wildfire that burns away your bullshit, the earthquake that cracks your mask. And if you can’t handle me, maybe it’s time you handle yourself.

Because the truth is, every time you cringe around me, every time you feel the urge to run, every time you flare up with irritation or dismiss me with a roll of your eyes, that’s your soul screaming to be seen. I didn’t create your discomfort—I just turned on the light.

If you feel an instant dislike for me, maybe it’s not me you’re hating. Maybe it’s the reflection of your own denied truth. Maybe it’s the echo of your own suppressed dreams, your own abandoned power, your own untamed wildness. I am just the canvas. You are the painter.

I am not afraid of your darkness. I am not fazed by your chaos. I am not intimidated by your rage, your grief, your jealousy, or your pain. I have learned to dance with all those energies. I have made peace with my own shadows, and that’s why yours don’t scare me. That’s why I can hold up the mirror—because I’ve stared into it myself.

You can call me intimidating, bitchy, too much, too loud, too deep. I’ll wear those titles like the crown I was born for. Because I know what I am: a soul that refuses to play small, a spirit that won’t dim her light to soothe your insecurity, a heart that won’t apologize for feeling everything so fiercely.

Empaths are not fragile. We are not weak. We are the original badasses. We have survived the wars of the soul, the heartbreak of the world, and still, we rise. We are the seers, the feelers, the truth-tellers, the boundary-breakers. We are the ones who remind you of what you’ve forgotten: your own power, your own pain, your own possibility.

So, if you feel uncomfortable around me, if you want to run or lash out or hide, ask yourself: What am I afraid to see? What am I denying in myself? What am I projecting onto her? Because the longer you hide from your truth, the heavier it gets. And one day, it’ll break free—whether in my presence, or alone in the dark.

I won’t apologize for being the mirror. I won’t shrink for your comfort. I won’t carry what isn’t mine. I’ll reflect it back to you, raw and real, until you’re ready to claim it for yourself. Until you’re ready to stop running. Until you’re ready to meet yourself, eye to eye, heart to heart.

Because that’s what I do. That’s what we empaths do. We bring the truth to the surface. We burn away the lies. We wake up the world, one reflection at a time.

So if you can’t handle the heat, don’t blame the fire. And if you see something you don’t like in my eyes, remember: I’m just the mirror, babe. The real work—that’s all you.

And when you’re finally ready to see yourself, all of yourself, you’ll find me here—standing in the light, unafraid, unapologetic, and absolutely unstoppable. Because that’s what it means to be an empath. That’s what it means to be me.

And honey, that’s power. Real, untamed, wild, bitchy, beautiful power. Own it or run from it—the choice is yours. But know this: The mirror never lies."

-Steve De'lano Garcia

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#c -PTSD #narcissist
TW:
Today I finnished reading a book about apsychopath serial killer.
Why on earth have I read the complete book (551 pages)?

Now my mind is playing tricks on me.

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Staying Present #c -PTSD

There have been moments where a trigger will transport me back to when I was a child - during my times of trauma. To get back to the present, I implement mindfulness exercises. I concentrate on my immediate surroundings and ask myself, "What do I see, hear, smell, taste and touch?

Intentionally, I slow down my breathing with deep breaths, holding them for a moment, then releasing them. By the time I've taken my third or fourth breath, my body has stopped trembling and my mind is fully engaged in the moment.

Yesterday, during a time when I was fully present, I happen to be in the right place, at the right time. Noticing that a patient snuggled a fork into the unit where I am assigned, I immediately alerted the nurse in charge. A "code red " was issued and security was able to confiscate the weapon. Lives were saved.

Don't let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.
- John Wooden

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Rising...

Sometimes I NEED to be alone,
BUT
on the days I WANT to be alone,
I push myself to do something...

#c -PTSD

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Doing, not just saying...

Got together with other singles on Saturday.
Working to stay in the present (as opposed to getting lost in the past)...

#c -PTSD

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Remember, each of us is worthy of the dreams we hold close. Deserving isn’t about ‘earning’ every goal, but about recognizing that our goals are already part of our journey. We are enough, right where we stand. So let’s walk confidently, knowing that the pursuit itself affirms our worth and reminds us that we belong among or aspirations. #Bipolar2 #MentalHealth #c -PTSD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

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Recovered memories

Hi,
I’ve been living a what I thought was a normal life with a demanding Jobb that I loved (certified emergency nurse), friends and family. I’ve always known that my family wasn’t all warm and loving, but I thought it was well within normal. I’ve always been very restless, keeping myself 100 % occupied with work/activities and I always hated to go to sleep and stay in bed - I felt it was boring and never thought more of it. I’ve felt I was like everybody else and the way I felt was how everyone was feeling. The only times I noticed something was off was when my friends was sad or needed comfort and they went to their moms - my mom was the last person on earth I would go to if I felt vulnerable. I didn’t think I much about it, I just thought my friends were childish. The other thing I noticed was that I couldn’t remember anything from my childhood or personal life- the only things I could recall was something that was from a photo - I just joked about how I used all my brain capacity at work and didn’t think anything more about it. Then five years ago my world got turned upside down. My husband and I were in a serious car accident where the two people on the motorcycle died ( they hit our car from behind with 125 mph according to the police. We and other cars were stopped because of an other accident further up the road) After that I developed PTSD and struggled a lot before i got help. 2 years after the accident I started in trauma therapy, EMDR, for the accident. Then after like 3 months with EMDR I started getting different kinds of flashbacks and with them memories. The just kept coming and they all are reoccurring the same way, kind of like small things ( sounds, feelings, body memories, smell/taste or “snapshots”) that doesn’t make any sense and then suddenly out of the blue a new memory pops up and all the little things make sense. And they just keep coming. I’ve a lot of new memories and in the beginning I didn’t trust them but the flashbacks and body memories are so real and specific that I can’t dismiss them. My therapist says it’s normal that memories can be blocked for a number of years and then when another trauma happens it reactivate the old trauma. Has any of you experienced it? There are some memories of my mom and how she dealt with me, but most of them and the most vivid once ( the once that are very specific emotional, body, auditory, smell, taste and visual flashbacks - but not a whole memory, all of them are like snapshots if you know what I mean) are from SA a family friend from I’m about five till I’m eleven. I have a hard time believing that I can forget something like that. Have any of you experienced that - forgetting such a “big” thing?
#PTSD #c -ptsd #

(edited)
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