neurodiversity

Hi all. Here’s my latest Substack post about the raw reality of family life and the difficult, beautiful cycle of loss and rebirth.

Reshaping the Container

#Parenting #Neurodiversity #MentalHealth #Relationships

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I feel like I’m not actually okay. Days can go great until one little thing happens. I was just crying five minutes ago because the bank me and my mom share took away the $25 I just transferred because there was already a negative balance that I was unaware of until now, and now I don’t have enough money to get what I planned to buy. It’s like if almost anything I plan doesn’t go the way I planned, I get very upset.

Crying is very normal and typical for me (I’m non-binary… idk, I just don’t want an assumption to be made that crying is a more “feminine” thing), but it seems like I’m just… crying for very little reasons these days. I mean, I do normally tend to get upset when things don’t go as planned and cry sometimes, but now I’m just.. crying more than usual throughout these recent years. But why? Is it because I just despise being out of routine or despise things I plan to do not going the way I wanted to? Is it because I’m just so sick of how the world has been lately and has been making me more impatient towards things? Is it because of my hormones being unbalanced? It might be all of these things.

I do see a therapist, but I just.. idk. Just writing my thoughts out here.

#MyAutismIsNotADisorder #MyAutismIsNotADisability #MentalHealth #AutismSpectrum #Autistic #Anxiety #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #OSTD #OtherSpecifiedTraumaDisorder #moodswings #Neurodiversity

As a man struggling with Mental Health issues while learning skills to make income, I feel like I have to make sufficient income to earn the right to exist.

I developed Existential Anxiety 3 years ago and since then, I been to multiple therapists, read over a hundred books on Trauma Healing, Neurobiology, Affect Regulation and Jungian Psychology. I read pretty much anything I could find to find solution to the Existential dread that haunted me every second of my day.

Since I 'left' my religion and decided to practice non-affiliate spirituality, I was ostracized from the community and friends because I wasn't following the 'right' religion. They stopped talking to me and even distanced themselves from me. I remained true to myself and found other people I could connect to.

I made great progress in therapy and self-healing. But I struggle with loneliness. My loneliness is not related to social anxiety, social media consumption or introversion. It's just that I am not seen. My family sees me as this useless piece of crap that does nothing but eats and sleeps.

I am not useless. I learned a great deal on Trauma Healing and I am working on my Mental Health Educational Platform where I provide insights from my own healing journey and the common struggles people face when they have mental health struggles.

Since I am opiniated, I challenge authority, I have principles that I stick to, I feel invisible. I cannot conform to the social myths. I like real humans with all their fullness. I am a realist and humanist at heart. I cannot be around fakers and NPCs.

As a man, our society sets this toxic expectation upon us, as if without producing income, I don't have the right to exist.

#Loneliness #Neurodiversity

From an early age, I’ve struggled with focus, social interactions, and a lot of anxiety. In school, I often drifted off into Neverland, not paying any attention to what the teacher was talking about. It’s difficult for me to learn things by verbal instruction. I need visualizations, note-taking, and no interruptions from classmates in order to grasp the subject. I also became fidgety, restless, and often bored. I remember twirling my hair a lot, picking at the split ends, or drawing swirls in my notebook.

Back then, I didn’t know much about mental health. It wasn’t something we were taught in school, at least from my experience. I thought I was just shy, quiet, and maybe a little “off.” It wasn’t until college, and later into my twenties, that things started to click. That’s when I finally sought help. It took me another ten years to receive an ADHD diagnosis because of incompetent mental health professionals. But I advocated for myself and finally received the diagnosis I knew I had for years, and then suddenly, my life started to make sense.

AUDHD

A pastel purple background featuring five quick tips for living with AUDHD, presented in a playful font. Each tip is encapsulated in a heart shape, emphasizing positivity and encouragement.

I learned somewhat recently that there’s a name for the overlap between ADHD and Autism—AUDHD. For me, everything came into sharper focus. People treated ADHD and Autism as separate conditions for years, but in reality, they often coexist. And when they do, the traits don’t just add up—they interact in ways that can feel like a tug-of-war inside your own brain.

The Overlap

A visual infographic comparing traits of Autism, ADHD, and AUDHD, highlighting challenges and characteristics associated with each condition.

AUDHD isn’t just having ADHD and Autism separately—it’s how the two interact in one brain. For example, ADHD can make someone impulsive, restless, or easily distracted, while Autism can make them rigid, detail-focused, or socially withdrawn. When both exist together, these traits can pull in opposite directions, creating unique challenges: you might hyperfocus on something intensely, then suddenly feel scattered or forgetful. You might crave social connection but feel completely overwhelmed by it.

Many misconceptions exist about AUDHD. People might assume someone with ADHD can’t hyperfocus, or that someone with Autism is always introverted and routine-bound. AUDHD shows that these traits can coexist in ways that don’t match stereotypes. Recognizing AUDHD helps people understand that neurodivergence isn’t one-size-fits-all—everyone experiences it differently, and the overlap can make life feel like both a struggle and a superpower.

For me, ADHD has always meant distractibility, forgetfulness, and an inability to sit still in my head. But Autism gives me hyperfocus. I can easily lose myself in a favorite interest for hours, while at the same time forgetting to eat or take care of myself. I’ll swing between not being able to focus at all, to being so locked in that the rest of the world disappears.

Socially, ADHD makes me more impulsive. I’ll blurt things out or talk too fast. While the autism makes me second-guess every word. Most days I’m really quiet, but there are moments where I unexpectedly become a chatterbox.

In the past, people have told me I appear aloof, but that’s not the type of impression I want to give off. I can’t help the facial expressions I make when I’m in my emotions, and I can’t help but appear distant, because I am. It takes a lot of trust and understanding for me to be open with someone. But most of the time, when I am at a social gathering for example, I’ll stay hidden. I don’t do it on purpose; I just naturally retreat to corners where I feel safe.

Emotionally, ADHD makes me feel everything more intensely. While Autism makes me shut down when things get to be too much. The combination leaves me either melting down or going completely silent—both of which are very misunderstood by others.

Looking Back

A document listing traits of AUDHD (Autism and ADHD overlap), highlighting cognitive, emotional, social, and sensory aspects, alongside strengths associated with the conditions.

The signs were always there: avoiding eye contact, stimming in subtle ways, needing routine but never being able to stick with one, feeling like everyone else had the rules of life figured out while I was just improvising mine.

The problem is that autism in women hasn’t been widely studied. I’ve been masking, mimicking, working overtime to blend in. I do this so well that people don’t see the real me, and most often, I don’t either. I raw-dogged life and flew under the radar until adulthood, carrying the weight of self-doubt, constantly thinking I was just “bad at life.”

Living with AUDHD hasn’t been easy. It’s been full of misunderstandings, broken confidence, and years of not knowing why I felt so different. But it’s also taught me that I’m a strong person, and that my empathy comes from knowing what it feels like to be invisible. My sensitivity, which I once saw as a flaw, is actually one of my greatest strengths. It’s what makes me, me.

Misconceptions That Hurt

Infographic addressing misconceptions about AUDHD, featuring key points and explanations related to ADHD and Autism.

Here’s what I wish people knew:

• ADHD and Autism are not excuses for laziness.

• They aren’t a phase you grow out of.

• They don’t look the same in everyone.

• And they’re definitely not “trendy” labels people throw around for fun.

You don’t suddenly develop ADHD or Autism later in life. You’re born with them. Many of us, especially women, just don’t get recognized until adulthood because the stereotypes are so narrow.

The Takeaway

Living as an AUDHD adult has been one of the hardest and most freeing things I’ve ever experienced. Hard, because the world wasn’t built for brains like mine. Freeing, because now I understand myself better than I ever have.

And the more people learn about ADHD, Autism, and the overlap of AUDHD, the more compassion we can build. For people like me. For kids who are still sitting in classrooms, twirling their hair, drifting into daydreams, and wondering why they feel so different.

“Different, not less.”-Temple Grandin

#MentalHealth #ADHD #ADHDInGirls #Neurodiversity #Autism #AutismSpectrumDisorder