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I’ve always disliked being put on the spot. When someone asks me an unexpected question, wants an answer right away, or brings up something that I wasn’t prepared to talk about, I have a hard time responding in the moment.

It’s not that I don’t have an answer or that I don’t want to respond. It just takes me a while to process what someone has said and figure out what I actually want to say back. But when I feel like I’m expected to respond immediately, I get really flustered. My mind goes blank, I stumble over my words, or I end up saying something that doesn’t really express what I was trying to get across.

And of course, it’s usually afterward that I think of everything I could’ve said. I’ll replay the interaction and wonder why I couldn’t come up with those words when I needed them.

I’ve been asked, “So, what are you doing with your life?” or “What are you doing now?” several times, and it stuns me every time. I never really know how to answer those questions. They always throw me off guard. There’s this overwhelming anxiety that makes me completely freeze up.

Honestly, nothing really changes very much in my life. I’ve felt stuck for years in my comfort bubble, and things just don’t progress the way I’d like them to. So, when someone asks me what I’m doing with my life, I just say the same thing every time: “Oh, not much.” I don’t like responding that way, but it makes me incredibly nervous to share the things I’ve been doing because I feel like there isn’t much to show for it. It’s embarrassing to me.

I also think about why the question is so important for the other person to know. Why do they need to know what I’m doing with my life? To me, it feels invasive and too personal. I don’t know. I feel like most people don’t mind being asked this. Why do I find it so heavy?

Part of what makes communication difficult for me is that I know what I want to say, but getting those words to come out at the right moment is nearly impossible. I’ll have a whole conversation going on inside my head, but when it comes time to actually say something, it doesn’t come out the way I intended. My nerves take over, and I’m desperately looking for a way out of the conversation.

Sometimes I need to think about a question before I answer it. I might need to consider what the person is asking, what they really mean, and how I want to respond. Other people might be able to come up with an answer right away, but my brain doesn’t always work that way. I don’t necessarily have an immediate response, and I don’t like feeling rushed to come up with one.

It can be especially difficult when someone asks me how I feel about something or expects me to explain myself. I might know that I have feelings about a situation, but putting those feelings into words while someone is waiting for an answer is a different story. I can struggle to explain what I’m thinking, even when I’ve spent plenty of time thinking about it on my own.

A friend of mine and I chat often. We joke, have deep conversations, and just talk like most friends do. But sometimes I’ll say something I didn’t mean to in the moment, and she’ll ask, “What did you say?” or “What do you mean?” It always leaves me blank. I tense up, not knowing how to respond because it was something I said without really thinking about it.

I don’t know. It just leaves me feeling very anxious because I don’t immediately know how to explain what I meant. It frustrates me because all I want to do is give a clear answer, but I can’t think as fast as I’d like to.

It makes me feel so awkward. I wonder what the other person thinks of me. I don’t want someone to misunderstand my words, but I also don’t want to feel like I have to come up with something on the fly just to fill the gap.

Another thing I notice is that I can come up with a much better response after the interaction is over. It’s almost comical how quickly the words come to me once I’m no longer expected to say them.

I don’t think people always realize how much pressure an unexpected question can create. Something that seems like a simple question to someone else can leave me trying to sort through all my thoughts at once. I want to give a thoughtful answer, but I don’t want there to be an awkward silence while I try to figure it out.

I’d like to be able to pause, think about what someone asked, and respond when I’m ready without feeling like I need to apologize for it. I don’t always need more time because I don’t understand the question. Sometimes I just need a little longer to figure out what I want to say.

I guess I just wish I didn’t feel so much pressure to have the right words at the right time. Because more often than not, they’re there. They just don’t always come when I need them.

Do you ever struggle to find the right words when someone expects you to respond right away?

#MentalHealth #Anxiety #SocialAnxiety #AutismSpectrumDisorder #Autism #Neurodiversity

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I came across this and thought it could create a good conversation here.
Sometimes we spend so much energy waiting for someone else to apologize, understand, change, or give us closure. But our healing doesn’t necessarily have to depend on any of those things.

#Trauma #MentalHealth #Addiction #ADHD #ADHDInGirls #Neurodiversity #AlcoholDependence #BipolarDepression

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For anyone who needs to hear this

Sometimes progress doesn't look like progress.

Sometimes it looks like ending the conversation instead of letting it tear you down.

Sometimes it looks like resting before you crash, taking your medication, going to therapy, asking for help, or getting through a day that once felt impossible.

I used to think if it felt like a setback, it meant I failed. But some of our biggest gains happen in the moments that feel like setbacks.

Progress itself isn't always the problem - sometimes it's how we've been taught to define and measure it.

If today felt messy, that doesn't automatically mean you went backwards.

You might be seeing progress in action, just not in the way you were taught to look for it.
You're doing better than you think.

Remember that.

#ADHD #ADHDInGirls #Neurodiversity #MentalHealth #Addiction #Anxiety #AlcoholDependence #SubstanceRelatedDisorders #Depression

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World Mental Health Day

Mental health isn't always visible, and you never know what someone might be dealing with behind the scenes. 💚

For World Mental Health Day, let's keep the conversation going, be a little kinder to ourselves and others, and remember that we don't have to see someone's struggle for #youarenotalone it to matter.

#MentalHealth #Neurodiversity #ADHD #Depression #Anxiety #AutismSpectrumDisorder #MightyTogether

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ADHD Awareness Month: What People Don’t Always See

ADHD isn’t always about a lack of attention. Sometimes it’s about not being able to control where your attention goes.

I can be completely focused on something I’m interested in and lose hours without realizing it, while also struggling to start something I genuinely want to do.

That was one of the things I didn’t understand about myself before my ADHD diagnosis.

There’s so much more to ADHD than being distracted.

💚 Happy ADHD Awareness Month.

#MentalHealth #ADHD #Neurodiversity

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Daily reminder for anyone who needs it

Remember, you don’t have to solve everything to take care of yourself today. 💚
When anxiety pulls attention toward everything that might happen, it can help to pause and ask: “What is actually within my control right now?”

Maybe it’s setting a boundary, asking for help, choosing rest, changing how you speak to yourself, or taking one small step forward.

Because sometimes, one small choice is enough for today. 🌿 #ADHD #ADHDInGirls #Neurodiversity #SubstanceRelatedDisorders #MentalHealth #Depression #Addiction #Anxiety

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My Brain Has a Very Strong Opinion About the Temperature

I’ve come to realize that my brain has a very strong opinion about the temperature.

And I mean a very strong opinion.

I’ve always been sensitive to heat and light, but I don’t think I fully realized just how much they affect me until my recent trip.

I was hot and sweaty for what felt like the entire trip. I just could not seem to cool off no matter how hard I tried. I even had one of those little handheld electronic fans with me, which did help a little, but not nearly as much as I would have liked. At some point I was basically carrying around a tiny fan and hoping it would save me.

In Romania, the weather was hot and muggy, and I swear the sun hits differently out there. It was intense.

Honestly, I now understand why Dracula hid from the sun and only came out at night.

At my friend’s wedding, I started the day with my hair straight with a few curls in it. By the end of the day, my hair was basically soaked from sweating. Not exactly the look I was going for.

And it wasn’t just uncomfortable. The heat really took a lot out of me.

I started noticing how much the weather and light were affecting me physically and emotionally. I’ve always known that bright sunlight is a sensitivity for me, but being in that kind of heat for days at a time made it much harder to ignore.

Then we got to Italy.

One day, my friend and I decided to go see the Leaning Tower of Pisa. We had rented a car during our stay, but we ended up parking pretty far away from the tower. So, we had quite a walk to and from the car.

And it was sweltering.

I mean, really sweltering.

I remember trying to jump from one shady spot to the next, basically chasing any little patch of shade I could find.

By the time we were done, we were both miserable.

We had spent the day doing a lot of sightseeing, and between the walking, the heat, the sun, and everything else going on, it became overwhelmingly exhausting. It affected both of our moods. I remember thinking that I could really use some alone time somewhere cool and quiet.

And that was probably one of the bigger things I took away from the trip.

I realized just how affected I can be by weather and light, and I started thinking about how much this connects to my neurodivergence.

I know my brain already takes in a lot. I notice sounds, people, changes in my surroundings, how my body feels, and a million little things that I don’t always consciously realize I’m processing. When I’m comfortable, I can handle a lot more of it. But when I’m hot, sweaty, tired, and in bright sunlight, it feels like I’ve already used up a good portion of my bandwidth.

Then everything else starts getting to me.

The crowds feel more exhausting. The noise bothers me more. Walking around feels harder. My patience gets shorter, and I can feel myself getting irritable or overwhelmed without always understanding why in the moment.

I think that’s what I’ve been learning about myself.

It’s not that I suddenly can’t handle being outside or that I don’t enjoy traveling. It’s that when my body is uncomfortable, I have less room left for everything else my brain is processing.

And I don’t always recognize that right away.

Sometimes I just know that I’m getting annoyed, tired, or overwhelmed, and it takes me a minute to realize that I’ve been hot for hours and haven’t had a chance to properly decompress.

I’ve had so many moments in my life where I’ve looked at other people and wondered why something seemed so much harder for me. I’d see someone else walking around in the heat like it was nothing while I was desperately looking for shade and thinking about how much I wanted to be somewhere cool.

For a long time, I think I automatically assumed I was just being too sensitive.

Now I’m starting to look at it differently.

I know myself better than I used to, and I know that certain sensory experiences affect me more than others. Heat and bright light are two of those things. When they’re combined with everything else that comes with traveling, I can reach my limit a lot faster.

That doesn’t mean I don’t want to be there.

I can be having an amazing day and still need to get away somewhere quiet. I can be excited about what I’m seeing and still be completely exhausted afterward. I can love a place and still want nothing more than to get back to my room, turn on the air conditioning, put on comfortable clothes, and not have to process one more thing.

Those things can exist at the same time.

I think that’s what I’m learning to recognize about myself. I don’t have to compare my experience to someone else’s and decide that I should be handling things differently just because they seem fine.

If I’m hot, I’m hot. If the sunlight is bothering me, I need to get out of the sun. If I’ve had enough stimulation and need some alone time, I probably need some alone time.

That’s not me being difficult. It’s me paying attention to myself.

And apparently, my brain has decided that 90-degree weather and direct sunlight are personal enemies.

Which honestly explains a lot.

I love traveling. I love being outside. I love exploring new places and seeing things I’ve never seen before.

But I also need shade, air conditioning, water, comfortable clothes, and probably my little electronic fan.

And apparently, occasional alone time in a dark room.

I’m learning that those things help me regulate when I’ve taken in more than I realize. I don’t need to wait until I’m completely overwhelmed to give myself what I need.

So yes, my brain has a very strong opinion about the temperature.

And apparently, that opinion is find the shade.

What’s something that affects you more than you realized?

“The body keeps the score.”—Bessel van der Kolk

#SensoryProcessingDisorder #ADHD #MentalHealth #Neurodiversity #MightyTogether

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MY BRAIN IS TURNING INTO SOUP

I obviously just accidentally deleted this post as I was typing it.

I hate when your plans get turned around on a dime. My aunt forced me to come to her bridal shower last-minute, and now I have to deal with that, my friends' birthdays being back-to-back weekends, researching certifications to get until I feel confident enough to go back to school for my Bachelor's, everyday chores, volunteering for midterms, volunteering for church, and downtime. When I have so many responsibilities to deal with (especially unpredictable), my brain just turns into a cacophony of traffic jams, barking dogs, and overlapping conversation. How do people deal with actually being a responsible adult and having plans change all the time? #ADHD #AutismSpectrumDisorder #Neurodiversity #routine #Adulthood

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Learning to Sit With Uncertainty

How do you deal with uncertainty?

Honestly, I don’t deal with uncertainty very well. It’s always been difficult for me because I like to know what is going to happen, where I’m going, what I’m supposed to do, and what to expect. When I don’t have those answers, my mind starts filling in the blanks.

And more often than not, it doesn’t fill them in with anything particularly helpful.

I think part of what makes uncertainty so uncomfortable is that there is nothing I can really do to control it. I can plan, prepare, and think through every possible scenario, but eventually, there are things that are simply out of my hands.

I’m the kind of person who likes to know all the details ahead of time, so I feel prepared for every possible outcome. But life throws you curveballs sometimes, and no matter how much you prepare for something, a whole new direction can change the trajectory.

There could be a change of plans. A delayed flight. A conversation that doesn’t go the way you thought it would. A decision I don’t know how to make. A future I can’t quite picture yet.

So, over time, I’ve started finding little ways to make uncertainty easier to deal with.

One of the biggest things is giving myself something I can control.

If I’m traveling, I might make a packing list. I’ll look at the schedule a few dozen times, figure out where I need to be, and make sure I have the things that make me feel comfortable. I may not be able to control everything that happens during the trip, but I can make sure I have my headphones, my snacks, comfortable clothes, and a few familiar things with me.

I always try to remind myself that I don’t need to know everything right now. And even though that is hard for me, it’s a lot easier than panicking about things that don’t go as planned.

The thing is, I feel a sense of safety and calm when I know the answers ahead of time. I like knowing how something is going to turn out. I like to know whether I’m making the right decision before I make it.

But sometimes there isn’t an answer yet.

Sometimes you just have to take the next step and see what happens.

I always have to remind myself that uncertainty doesn’t automatically mean what comes next will be terrible. In fact, it could actually be something wonderful.

That doesn’t always make the uncertainty disappear, but it does give me another possibility to consider.

And sometimes, I try to stay in the present instead of jumping too far ahead.

I don’t think I’ll ever master uncertainty.

I still overthink, worry, and want to know what happens next. But I’m learning that the goal isn’t to eliminate uncertainty. It’s learning that I can handle not knowing.

I can create a plan without expecting everything to go according to it.

I can prepare without trying to control every outcome.

And I can remind myself that I have gotten through uncertain moments before.

The truth is, I didn’t always know how those moments would turn out. But eventually, they became something I could look back on.

Perhaps that’s what makes uncertainty a little easier to live with.

You don’t have to know the whole story.

Sometimes, you just have to trust yourself enough to keep turning the page.

How do you handle uncertainty when you don’t know what comes next?

“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.”— Albert Einstein

#MentalHealth #Neurodiversity #ADHD #Autism #selfcare #MightyTogether

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What Type of Food Are You Today?

Monday mood, but make it food. 🍓🥔🍝

Because sometimes the easiest way to explain how you’re feeling is to ask:

What food are you today?

Today, I’m feeling like spaghetti. 🍝

A little tangled, a little all over the place, but somehow making it work. 😂

Maybe you’re mashed potatoes—soft, cozy, and needing comfort.

Maybe you’re watermelon—just trying to feel refreshed.

Maybe you’re garlic bread and simply here for the good things.

Whatever you are today, there’s no wrong answer.

So… what food are you feeling like today? 👇

#MentalHealth #Neurodiversity #selfcare #MightyTogether

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