My Son Says ‘Mama’ in a Different Way Than Most, and I Love It


image3 Before I began my career as a nurse, I worked as a preschool teacher (and I still wanted children!). I said things like “use your walking feet,” and “teeth are for smiling and eating apples but not biting our friends.” My personal favorite was “use your words.” I find myself using similar sayings when speaking to my children and sometimes even with my patients. And I never thought twice about requesting a child to use his or her words, until I realized my son might have difficulties forming and using his own words.

The idea that I wouldn’t hear the word “mama” uttered from his sweet little mouth until he was quite a bit older made my heart ache a bit. I could remember vividly when my daughter, still small enough to be in her pack-n-play, woke up in the middle of the night to nurse. She requested in a small but almost desperate tone for “Mama.” My husband looked startled and asked me if I’d heard it.

I was almost in tears because I’d heard much more than those two little syllables. I’d heard, “I love you, I need you, I know who you are and you have earned the right to be called my mama.” OK, so most of that was probably the sleep deprivation she imposed on us with her insistence on not sleeping. Ever. But there’s something so special about being Mama for your child for the first time.

Fast forward a couple of years and I found myself with a different little one in the same pack-n-play in our room. One particular night I sat staring at his little swaddled form and wondering when will I be “Mama” to him. What I found over the next few months is that “Mama” sounded different when said from Gabe. To him, “Mama” was outstretched hands and a giant soggy grin. It was a speed crawl with his head tucked under for maximum efficiency, directly to my ankles. It was a wobbly walk along the furniture to be wherever I was, just so he could place his chubby hand softly on my knee and look up at me with such adoration in his eyes that it could make my stomach flip flop. Currently, it’s a blonde hair, blue-eyed toddler, pulling at my shirt hem and saying “Ah-Mee” in his tiny toddler voice.

image4

You see, sometimes communication looks or sounds different than what we expect. For most, communication consists of the words we can hear. The understandable things spoken from ones mouth to another’s ear. For some, it could be their hands that communicate, allowing them to share their desires and appreciation. For others, it could be written word or touch-to-speak apps. The important thing to know is that communication can take on a variety of forms. It’s imperitive that we take the time to recognize that despite what you might or might not hear uttered from someone’s mouth, what they have to say is just as important to them as what you have to say is to you.

I challenge you to just take a moment the next time you have the opportunity to meet someone who’s style of communication seems different than yours, to stop and hear what they’re trying to say. It may take a little extra time for them to share it with you, but I’m almost certain it will be worth it.

This post originally appeared on Hand Me Downs.

TOPICS
JOIN THE CONVERSATION

Related to Down Syndrome

Dear Doctor Who Gave Us a Down Syndrome Diagnosis, This Is What You Should and Shouldn't Have Said

Dear Doctor, We tried for months to conceive, and we’re so thrilled to be pregnant again. Remember how excited I was at our first prenatal visit? Our 2-year-old daughter is going to be a big sister! My family and friends are so excited for us. I told everyone at work that I had the Panorama blood [...]

Once I Saw Past the Diagnosis, I Realized We Hit the Jackpot

Two years ago, we went in for our gender reveal ultra sound to hear we’d be having another girl. Instead, we left that appointment shaken. Our OB gently told us that they found small calcium deposits on Kennedy’s heart. They said we shouldn’t be alarmed, but an appointment had already been arranged for us at a [...]

Dear Dad Facing Your Daughter’s Down Syndrome Diagnosis, You’re So Screwed…

Dear Esteban, Dude, relax. Take a deep breath. It’s OK to feel scared. Do you want to punch that wall again? Go ahead. Did it help? Now you’re still scared and your hand hurts. I know you feel like you have to get it out of your system, and that’s OK. Go. Lock yourself in [...]

These Are All the Things I Worried About When My Daughter Was Diagnosed With Down Syndrome

Looking back on our diagnosis day is quite surreal at this point. The feeling of having my perfect world shattered is hard to describe and painful to remember.   I was scared. Could we handle raising a child with special needs? If I could write a letter to my past self, I’d say this: Not only will [...]