To the Woman in the Library Who Scolded My Son With Autism


I may have not been nice when I told you not to scold my kid. You might think he’s a spoiled brat and trying to hog the train table your kid wants to play on. Your kid might think that, too.

It’s not that I want my son to take away your son’s train. The sight of them playing side by side is so beautiful to me.

You see, the last time we came to the library, we had to leave very quickly when another kid tried to play on the train table with my son. My son has autism. Playing with others is a work in progress among many other social things he’s learning.

He didn’t want the others to play the last time we came because they’d mess up whatever game he was playing. He couldn’t tell them this, so he laid down on the floor kicking and screaming. We had to drag him out with his sisters, who were unhappy to be leaving the library early. 

This time, however, he played next to so many kids before your son came to play. They were playing so wonderfully until my kiddo grabbed the train from yours. And that is wrong. And he does need to learn it’s wrong. But I also want to reinforce the good. He didn’t lie down and become inconsolable because another child sat next to him. He didn’t do anything that caused us to leave the library. He, as a lot of 6-year-olds do, took a toy away from another kid.

We have come so far from where he was. We can do so many more things that most parents take for granted. And yet, all you see is my kid taking the train.

I do apologize for him taking the train. And one day I know he will apologize to your kid as well. Because progress with this kid has been amazing, and he never gives up trying to make friends.

But next time, let me scold my kid.

Amanda Crews the-mighty-07132015-003

Follow this journey on The Pieces We Were Given.

The Mighty is asking the following: Share with us the moment you stood up for yourself or your child in regards to disability or disease, or a moment you wish you had? If you’d like to participate, please send a blog post to [email protected] Please include a photo for the piece, a photo of yourself and 1-2 sentence bio. Check out our “Share Your Story” page for more about our submission guidelines.

TOPICS
JOIN THE CONVERSATION

Related to Autism Spectrum Disorder

Virgin Media Removes Harmful Ad After Epilepsy Advocates Speak Out

Last week, Twitter removed hazardous ads after a charity in the U.K. pointed out how they could trigger seizures. On Monday, Virgin Media faced the same accusation after the company posted a flashing video on Twitter for its #AllTheFootball campaign. Intense strobe lights, certain visual patterns and continuing rapid flashes of different colors are just a few examples of what [...]

What I Tell Myself When I Worry About My Child With Special Needs’ Future

Ivan is 10 years old. He’s not a baby anymore, but he’s also not a big kid yet. I mean, he’s big — the biggest he’s ever been! — but I can still pick him up when I need to. My husband says, “These are the salad days.” Yes, that’s a real phrase. I had [...]

5 Things People Get Wrong About Anxiety

I was heading out to my 22nd birthday dinner when it hit me like a ton of bricks — an anxiety attack. I’m 1 of 6.8 million adults, or 3.1 percent of the U.S. population, who suffers from Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), which is characterized by excessive or disproportionate worry. Although it’s not something I experience often, [...]

Can You Tell Which One of My Kids Has Special Needs?

It was dark at my parent’s rural home. My children were watching the sky and waiting for fireworks. While they watched in anticipation, I watched them. Each child responded in a different way. One stood at the edge of the cornfield and waited. Another was snuggled quietly next to my mom. The other yelled out [...]