When Reddit Judged Me for Being a Mother With Bipolar Disorder


I’ve have written about my triumphs and hardships with bipolar disorder many times before. I write so others know they’re never alone. In my writings, I would neither judge or condemn someone for choosing to have children or choosing a life without children. Their choices are none of my business, and who am I to judge anyway? Who are any of us to judge another person?

Who indeed.

I’ve never claimed to be the best mother in the world because, well, that would be ridiculous. But I do know I’m a good mom. My daughters are everything to me and I take care of myself to not only be healthiest person I can be, but the strongest mother to my children.

Once, while looking over my personal blog, I was alerted someone had shared one of my posts to Reddit.* It was a blog I had written called “You Can’t Have Kids, You’re Bipolar,” about a comment I’d received — someone thought I should feel guilty for having children because I have bipolar disorder.

I decided to make my way to Reddit to take a peek at what was being said about the piece; surely people would see my point, right? As my eyes scanned her post, my stomach churned.

There were over 80 comments calling me everything from “psychopath,” “unstable,” “selfish” and “unfit.” Even a disgusting comment about how I should’ve been forced to undergo sterilization was upvoted and replied to with like-minded ignorance.

I was blown away. I reached out to my community of mental health advocates, reposting the original article I had written with all of the Reddit comments copied and pasted at the end to highlight the stigma and ignorance.

Their support was amazing, and I’m so thankful for the community of mental health advocates in my life. The people who know what it’s like, or take the time to ask what it’s like, are the ones who would never judge another person. These are the people who are changing the world, one small act of kindness at a time.

And since stumbling on that Reddit post, I’ve come to a few conclusions of my own:

It’s sad people in this world honestly believe hate is the way to treat someone with an illness. I’m sad some people would choose to remain ignorant.

And even after reading and rereading the comments by people who’ve never met my lovely children or me, yet still felt justified in their judgment, I couldn’t help but feel bad for them. I asked myself, if given the opportunity to speak to those faceless strangers, what would I say?

While everyone is entitled to their beliefs and opinions, you don’t know me or my children. Spreading ignorance is harmful, and you have absolutely no right to judge someone you’ve never met. People who are diagnosed with an illness might read those words and lose hope.

I wrote that piece to let other parents know being diagnosed with a mental illness doesn’t mean you can’t be an amazing, loving parent. Please stop adding to the stigma we fight every single day.

It’s exhausting, and it’s taking time away from my beautiful children.

*Editor’s note: The post has since been removed.

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