27 Ways to Be Helpful During a Loved One's Panic Attack

Witnessing someone you love having a panic attack can be scary — especially if you don’t know what to do. So we asked our Mighty community to tell us what others can do to be helpful while they’re having a panic attack.

Our conclusion? Everyone is different. If you have a loved one who experiences panic attacks, ask him or her what you can do to help. Or, if you’re someone who experiences panic attacks, don’t be ashamed to tell those around you what you need. If you develop a game plan with someone you trust, it can make coping with panic attacks that much easier. You don’t have to go through it alone.

Here are some examples from our community:

1. “Honestly, once I get to the panic attack point there’s not a whole lot they can do — my boyfriend will often rub my back and just wait it out with me, or talk it out if I’m able. Just being there is enough. The worst thing someone can do panic because I’m panicking.” — Sheyna W.

2. “Get me to a quiet room where I can just be alone for a moment. My panic attacks normally happen because there’s too much noise or too many people. So getting away is the best.” — Amber Y.

3. “Talk to me to help keep me grounded. Once I’m lost in my thoughts it’s harder to get out of the panic attack.” — Vikki Rose D.

4. “Get me a bag of ice or something frozen, whether we’re at home or at the grocery store. Honestly, I would get panic attacks while grocery shopping and a bag of frozen peas would get me through the panic attack so I could continue.” — Jenna R.

5. “Sometimes I need to move away from a situation. It’s nice to have someone come with me.” — Jess L.

6. “Different people have different triggers and different grounding methods that work for them. When I’m in the midst of a panic attack, I can’t stand to be touched and I usually can’t talk. I definitely don’t want anyone to make light of the situation and if someone were to joke with me, it would make it worse. Ask me if I want help. If I shake my head no, respect my space while I wait for it to pass.” — Sarah W.

7. “Help me to let time pass and let the panic attack run its course. Possibly, assist me in getting to a ‘safe’ spot.” — Kevin J.

8. “Don’t undermine my panic. Don’t yell at me. Acknowledge it. Understand. Have empathy.” — Ivonne M.

9. “Don’t ignore me because it’s uncomfortable — remind me I’m safe and that I’m going to be OK.” — Amy G.

10. “Listen. Sounds so simple, but can be difficult to do. Sometimes I need to just let the ramblings all out, sometimes I need to be distracted with a task like walking, cleaning, organizing, etc. It helps when those around me ask how they can help and actually listen.” — Kira S.

11. “Don’t bring more attention to me! The more people who see the panic in my eyes, the more I panic. I just need space, room to breathe and understanding.” — Kelli S.

12. “Distract me — talk about beautiful things.” — Rosenberg P.

13. “Give me my space, but don’t leave me completely.” — Jamie B.

14. “Help me focus elsewhere. Show me things aren’t deadly or threatening. Distract me without judgment.” — Tommie M.

15. “Ask me if there’s anything I need or anything you can do to help. If I say no, tell me you’re there if I need you and that everything is going to be OK.” — Christine N.

16. “Smile at me and tell me in a calm tone that it will pass. You don’t have to do anything dramatic. I already ready have the drama lit up in my head and body.” — Bambi S.

17. “Stay by my side. Don’t make it a big deal. Breathe with me.” — Lexie S.

18. “For me, physical grounding is everything. A simple reminder to breathe during less severe moments is life-giving.” — Rachel J.

19. “During a panic attack, ask if it’s OK if you come close. Getting in [my] face can make the attack worse. Sometimes holding my hand helps, sometimes it’s a trigger.” — Ashley B.

20. “Never tell the person having the attack to ‘get over it.’” — Katie R.

21. “I may value you as a friend, but it’s not your job to act like my therapist, even if I’m having a panic attack. If I tell you I can’t talk about something or do something right now, it’s not your job to try to force me.” — Emily M.

22. “Remind me this won’t last forever.” — Alyse P.

23. “I think it is different for each person. I know it is for me. I actually have to go into my own space for awhile, to be alone to collect my thoughts. Once I’m calm, I need to be held tightly or just need a hand to hold. It’s exhausting to have a panic attack. For someone who has a loved one near, I would say ask before the attack what they can do to help.” — Mary B.

24. “If you feel unable to help, you can call a crisis hotline and let the person speak with them. I keep the number saved in my cell phone for when I have panic attacks or feel suicidal.” — Kendall R.

25. “Keep yourself calm. I will eventually feed off your calmness and I’ll be able to calm down.” — Marissa S.

26. “The only way for me to calm down is to sit by myself and cry. I don’t want people near me and I don’t want help ‘calming’ down.” — Corvette S.

27. “Sometimes I don’t need someone to try and fix it. Sometimes they just need to be there with a simple hug or to hold a hand.” — Harjinder S.