It could be said that one of the many joys of parenthood is witnessing “firsts.” Mothers often long to witness their child turn over, crawl, walk, eat “yucky” peas and blurt out, “Mommy.” My journey as a mom is a bit different. Many of my son Drake’s firsts have happened when I am not around.
Of course, many mothers may miss their child’s firsts. This could be due to the child being with another caregiver or being in daycare. The difference is this: Usually when a child says their first word, the word will be repeated over and over. New words will be added in the days to come, and the joy of hearing those new words wears off. Life goes on, kids develop and the routine and chaos of life takes hold. It can be easy to take those firsts for granted. But for me, one of the blessings of having a child with autism is learning never to take anything for granted.
Drake said his first word almost one year ago: “Hug.” Such a beautiful, magical, sweet word. I received a text from his therapist, Melissa, on the day he said it.
I was thrilled, ecstatic in fact. Drake said this beautiful word again, in nursery at church, to someone who loves him dearly. This gentleman told Drake to give him a hug, and out of the blue, he uttered the word, “Hug.”
I haven’t heard this word at all, and it doesn’t bother me one bit. What matters to me is that he has the ability to communicate. I believe with all my heart that Drake will talk one day. The road may be long and it will be a process, but I believe he will talk.
A few months ago, I pulled out a puzzle Drake had trouble with for many months in therapy. Because his fine motor skills are sometimes weak, he needed lots of hand-over-hand help. He hated puzzles and would object any time I pulled one out. One day, out of the blue, he put each piece in perfectly. I was astonished. I was thankful. He persevered, and with encouragement mostly from his therapists, he learned to put the puzzle together.
Drake has accomplished so many firsts with the help of the due diligence and talent of his therapists. Here is a list of his accomplishments thus far:
Drake has learned how to communicate effectively through signing. He now knows several signs and uses them to communicate most of his needs. His speech therapist, Quincey, is also teaching him how to use an AAC communication device.
Drake plays games at clinic with other kids several times a week. He takes turns,
engages and loves every minute. Because of this, now he likes to play games at home.
Drake has learned the importance of play and how to interact more appropriately with his peers. In the last few months, I’ve noticed him trying to engage with other children far more than he ever has. All of these play skills have been taught and encouraged by his amazing therapy team.
Drake now enjoys having books read to him. I think one of the great joys of motherhood for me is being able to read a book to my child.
So you see, firsts for me are not all that important. What is important is Drake’s development and success. I trust Drake’s therapy team completely. They work hard to help him learn and be successful. I don’t care if Drake utters 1,000 words to them before he says them to me. The end result is all that matters. I want Drake to continue to learn, develop and feel comfortable in his own skin. I believe it is because of these amazing therapists that he is gaining confidence and beginning to understand this complex world.
I don’t think there are enough words in the English language to thank the people who get to witness these firsts. And while, I know we are blessed with an amazing therapy team, there are some who have not been as lucky. Each first Drake’s therapist has with him gives him confidence and assurance to do it again. When we work on things at home and he succeeds, he looks at me with a big smile on his face. That is learning at the best possible level. He is happy he can accomplish things that were once difficult for him. I know Drake has a long road ahead of him. I know there will be difficult days, but these amazing ladies have paved the way and given him so much confidence to be successful. I cannot imagine where we would be without their support, help, knowledge and love.
Follow this journey on Walking With Drake.