To My 3-Year-Old Daughter Without ADHD
To My Sweet Daughter,
You are only 3 years old and are so incredibly independent and self-sufficient. Instead of asking me to get you a cup of water, you get it yourself and do it without spilling. In the morning, you don’t put up a fight when I tell you it’s time to get dressed and go to school. Instead, you get dressed all by yourself and are happy and excited to start the day. Thank you for always being my sunshine!
I love playing tag with you, and I love playing store with you. You are so fun to be around and have such a wild imagination! I wish I could play with you more, but your big sister needs me. She may be 3 years older than you, but she has ADHD, and in some ways, that makes her different than you. Not worse. Not better. Just different.
As smart as your sister is, she needs me right next to her the entire time while she’s doing her homework. She needs me there to help keep her on task and focused. When she starts to have a meltdown because she is having a difficult time with her math, she needs me there to encourage her and help build her confidence. I know you want to be in the room with us, but your presence distracts your sister. Thank you for understanding that and for quietly playing outside the room so your sister can do her homework without any distractions.
I know I let you watch TV or play on the iPad more than a child should to keep you busy and quiet while your sister is doing her homework. Although this is something I know you enjoy, you have no idea how guilty it makes me feel. It should be me, your mother, playing with you and teaching you new things, but I haven’t quite mastered being in two places at once yet.
You must feel like Daddy and I spend more time with your sister than we do with you. The truth of the matter is we probably do, but it’s not because we love her more or favor her over you. We love you both very, very much, and we would go to the moon and back for you girls. You must know that. Sometimes, your sister just needs extra help, support and guidance.
This family is a team, and I know you know this because I see you helping your sister when you can. Thank you for complimenting your sister on her drawings and for telling her she looks pretty in her new outfit. Thank you for getting excited to see her when we pick her up from school and for giving her those great big bear hugs. Although your sister may act like she doesn’t appreciate it sometimes, I assure you she does. She needs you in her life because you show her how she is admired and loved. When you become a mother, you will know just how much moments like those warm my heart.
Your sister has a very outgoing personality. She moves around when she isn’t supposed to, like when she gets off her seat at restaurants and wants to run around the table. This causes her to be the center of attention a lot. It’s no wonder you love your ballet class so much. It’s the one place you know for sure you will always be the center of attention and all eyes will be on you.
Believe it or not, Mommy is not a parenting expert. Honestly, I don’t know what I’m doing a lot of the time. All I know is I don’t want you to feel like you are second. I want you and your sister to always feel like you are both first. I love you and I appreciate you. Mommy promises to try her best to show you that each and every day. Thank you for being my special little girl and for making our family and our lives complete. As small as you are, you’re making such a positive influence in your sister’s life, and I will forever be grateful for that.
All My Love,
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