When My Daughter Asked Her Future Self If She Was ‘Still Sad About Having ADHD'

When my first-grader comes home from school, I always take out the work she brought home from school and we go over it together. It’s a part of our after-school routine before she starts her homework. I ask her questions about her assignments and she tells me what her favorite assignments were and why. One of the assignments she worked on was a time capsule for her to open in four years. She had to write a letter to her fifth-grade self, and when I read the words she wrote, my heart sank.

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She wrote: “Are you still sad about having ADHD?”

Heartbreaking, right? I took a breath and as calmly as I could asked her why she was sad about having attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). She answered, “Because it makes it hard for me to concentrate at school. I just want my ADHD to go away.”

Now some parents in this situation might say something to their child like, “If I could take your ADHD away, I would.” When my child was first diagnosed and I didn’t know much about ADHD, I might have said the same thing. Now that I understand much more about ADHD and how it can affect my child in a positive way, I said this to my daughter instead:

“Your ADHD is what makes you so incredibly unique, creative, smart and fun. ADHD is not a bad thing or something to be ashamed about. It can be like a hidden superpower that allows you to think outside the box and see the world in a fun way.”

I am not sugarcoating ADHD to make it seem like it’s all sunshine and rainbows. It most definitely has its thunderstorms and my daughter knows it. Living with ADHD can be hard for her at times, and as her mother, I see her face challenges on a daily basis. A lot of hard work and effort is put into her getting through everyday tasks. But would I take her ADHD away if I could? No, I wouldn’t. Although it is not who she is, ADHD is a part of what makes her my beautiful, intelligent, fun, silly girl.

What I would take away if I could, though, is this perspective of ADHD that comes out every now and then, which was the purpose of the talk I had with her. After my little pep talk, her demeanor changed and she breezed through her homework afterwards. I am sure we will have many more talks like that and I don’t mind at all. Children with ADHD can need frequent assurance, praise, recognition, support and love, and I know my fellow parents and I will always be their biggest cheerleaders, fans and advocates.

Follow this journey on My Little Villagers.