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To Those Who Are Caregivers for People With Mental Illnesses

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To all of our Caregivers;

I am a Mental Warrior. I know I often think about myself. I’m not a selfish person, I just have a lot going on. Managing my own mind and bad thoughts has been very difficult; in fact my whole life has been pretty difficult. I’ve been hit with nasty mental illnesses and chronic illnesses since I was a little kid. And that’s hard, and it’s no way to live life.

I’m often battling my own demons, and that takes up so much of my time. I know it also takes a lot of attention. Meanwhile, you, Caregiver, stay in the background, holding down the fort, waiting for my storm to be over. That’s been a large part of your life; waiting on me, apologizing for me, loving me when, honestly, I don’t think it’s possible to be loved.

You are the unsung heroes of the disabled. I speak on behalf of anyone who is a Mental Warrior; we would be lost without you. You go through just as much as we do, and get half the attention and care we receive (which speaks miles, because it’s very hard for a lot of us to get proper care). I want to take a moment, on behalf of all of us, to give you the appreciation you deserve, and sometimes we forget to give.

We are very aware of what you do for us; everything from taking some of us to doctor appointments, to late night calls when we’re manic and at our worst. I can’t imagine what it’s like to be in your shoes. To watch us suffer, and hurt ourselves, to see us struggle. Yet, you, Caregiver, stay. You are the strongest person in the world, because you address things others do not see. You don’t give up on us. You make us stronger, you build us up. You make sure we’re being taken care of. You give us the love we need.

Some of us (myself included) fight back. We are sorry, even when we don’t address it. Sometimes things become out of our control, and we’re so humiliated by foolish acts, we don’t know how to speak about them. I know I black out and say hurtful things, and for that I’m sorry. To my own personal caregivers, I love you so much, and I don’t mean the things I say in manic states and depressed days.

Sometimes we give up. Life is too hard for us. We throw in the towel. But you, Caregiver, are still in our corner, telling us to keep going! You give us the motivation when we can’t seem to manifest it ourselves. You see our beauty, and you show us. You don’t get to give up; you don’t allow yourself.

A lot of you have stayed with us through every battle, and continue to stay through the war. Some Caregivers have given up; and that’s OK. We still love you, and we understand; you need to put yourself first. We Mental Warriors get that, we put ourselves first a lot of days. I want you to know we still think fondly of you, and still appreciate everything you ever did.

So Caregivers, thank you, on behalf of all of us struggling. I hear a lot that I am a survivor, and that I’m a fighter; but I would be nowhere without your support. Thank you for the unconditional love, the care and being the strongest people in the world. We all appreciate you, we all adore you and we would be lost without you.

Yours,

A Mental Warrior

If you or someone you know needs help, please visit the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. You can also reach the Crisis Text Line by texting “START” to 741-741. Head here for a list of crisis centers around the world.

The Crisis Text Line is looking for volunteers! If you’re interesting in becoming a Crisis Counselor, you can learn more information here.

Follow this journey on Taylor’s site.

Originally published: April 12, 2016
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