What My Employer Did Right When My Son Was Diagnosed With Autism


Before I became my own boss, I had a great employer. But what makes an employer great?

After my son was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder, it quickly became clear my work travel schedule was going to be a problem. I had hoped he would eventually adapt, and realized adaptation was not going to come easily to him. Traveling to all corners of the country once a month (or more) was the exact opposite of the routine and predictability my son needed.

I also needed to learn a whole new way of parenting which, with a steep learning curve, required a lot time and focus, which was difficult given the demands of my work.

I needed to not travel and to have more time. In short, I needed to change foundational elements of my job.

A great employer approaches its people from a place of courage — not being afraid of the things that simply happen with employees, things that frustrate and stress so many lesser employers.

A great employer trusts employees as valued partners, starting from an assumption that each desires to do the best they can at their respective jobs.

A great employer treats problems as individual personnel issues, rather than an indictment of the entire workforce. There is the courage to fire people when needed, instead of implementing fear-based policies and sweeping draconian changes because of one person’s bad behavior.

And a great employer will work with its employees in a spirit of compassion and support when normal life events occur.

When I asked for the changes, my employer worked with me to reduce my travel, then to create a part-time position for me.

When I finally gave notice because even part-time was not giving me the flexibility I needed for my son, it was in no way a reflection on how my employer had worked to meet my needs.

There were four key things my employer did when my son was diagnosed with autism:

My employer was creative.

The goal was to meet both my personal needs and my employer’s business needs. My employer thought outside the box to successfully incorporate me into the existing business framework, even while changing basic elements of my job.

My employer was flexible.

My employer worked with me to set a schedule that would allow me flexibility but reasonable time to get the job done.

I was treated with compassion.

Never was I made to feel that this normal life occurrence was any kind of imposition on my employer, as if mine or my son’s needs were trivial or an inconvenience, or that my personal needs somehow made me a less valuable employee.

I was treated respectfully.

Throughout the entire process I was treated respectfully and as a valued employee, even after I left. Through my consulting work I still have a positive and beneficial relationship with the organization.

Courage, creativity, flexibility, compassion, respect were the things that my employer did right, and the things that make an employer great.

Follow this journey on Autism Mom.

Image via Thinkstock.

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