Why I Decided to Tell My Child She Has ADHD
When a parent receives an ADHD diagnosis for their young child, they are filled with many emotions. The biggest one I hear from parents is relief. They feel an overwhelming sense of relief because they finally have an explanation for their child’s behavior and actions. Now they can move forward and seek proper care. That is absolutely fantastic for not just the child, but the entire family. However, when a young child is diagnosed, parents are then faced with a decision: whether to tell their child they have ADHD or not.
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Honestly, I am surprised by how many parents have told me their child doesn’t know they have ADHD. However, I can understand why. Our society has created such a negative association with ADHD. Sadly, when most people discover a child has ADHD, they automatically assume he or she is “a troublemaker,” “rambunctious” and “disobedient.” Hardly anyone looks at the child and thinks he or she is “a leader,” “an out-of-the-box thinker” and “a visionary.” Because of this, I am not surprised many parents are afraid to tell their child they have ADHD. They are afraid their child will feel scared or “different.”
I see ADHD as an advantage. I see it as a gift. I see it as a superpower. That is why there was no doubt in my mind I would tell my then 5-year-old daughter she had ADHD. First of all, I felt she has the right to know why her mind works a certain way. Second of all, she has nothing to be ashamed about. In words she could understand, my husband and I told her that her brain works differently than in other kids and because she is so interested in the amazing world around her and has so many wonderful thoughts, it makes it hard for her to focus sometimes. We told her there is special medicine just for her that will help her brain focus better at school. We also told her about the celebrities with ADHD and all of their accomplishments. (Her favorite is Walt Disney.) We told her ADHD is part of what makes her so creative, imaginative and passionate. My husband has ADHD and he’s an intelligent and successful businessman, so my daughter sees firsthand how ADHD affects her father in a positive way every single day.
Don’t get me wrong. Despite having a positive perception of ADHD and using medication to help her focus in school, my daughter still has some difficulties. Anxiety and depression have found their way into my daughter’s life as well, which often coincide with ADHD. However, it is nothing we can’t handle together. My daughter is young and still learning what works and what doesn’t for her ADHD, which is completely understandable. When she is having a hard time, I like to recite Rumpelstiltskin’s famous quote from “Once Upon A Time” to her: “All magic comes with a price, dearie.” I say it in his voice of course, which usually ends in her laughing and then remembering all the great qualities and abilities that can come with ADHD.
What I do and will always do for my daughter is help her see the glass half-full. I will always provide her with the tools she needs, including me, who is her biggest supporter and advocate.
Cristina Margolis blogs at My Little Villagers, primarily to help document her daughter’s life with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and to help spread ADHD awareness in children. She created Pen Pallies, a pen pal program for children with ADHD and she is currently writing her first children’s book. She also writes for PopSugar and ADDitude Magazine and has been featured on Scary Mommy and Blunt Moms.
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