My 'Lack of Motivation' Doesn't Mean I'm Being Lazy


Motivation.

I hate that word.

Some people think that a lack of motivation is when you miss a gym session one week because you fancied a movie night instead. And it may be for some people.

But when people with depression say they have no motivation, they mean it. Literally.

I have jobs to do —  jobs around the house, jobs to do with university and work. I have many jobs I could be getting on with right now. But instead I’m sat here writing this because I don’t have the motivation.

My mum is constantly on at me that I need to sort things out, that I need to tidy my bedroom and put this paper away and put that paper away. It sounds silly but I can’t. I can’t bring myself to do anything.

I already know I need to get on with things. It is constantly on my mind, never actually leaving, and yet I can’t do them. It’s the constant battle between anxiety and depression. The anxiety is gnawing at me telling me I need to do things and the depression is pulling me back and telling me to just sit and mope around instead.

Some people have trouble even getting out of bed, it affects people in so many different ways. But telling a person  to “just exercise you’ll feel better” or to “just get on with it the rest of us do” isn’t helping at all. In fact, it’s probably making us feel worse and giving us even less motivation.

We want to carry on with our lives. We want to be able to do jobs that other people don’t think twice about. It isn’t being lazy, not in the slightest.

Sometimes, we just don’t have the motivation for anything. And that’s OK. It really is. It’s part of our illness, a symptom that we can’t help.


Find this story helpful? Share it with someone you care about.


Related to Depression

Why I Hid My Depression for Years

I’ve read posts about smiling depression and realized that was me. I hid behind smiles, goofy humor and jokes. No one could ever tell I frequently experienced suicidal ideation. No one could tell I had severe mood issues and chronic pain. And no one could tell I was not coping well with the pain. In [...]
drawing of a monster

Drawing the Monsters That Sleep Inside of Me

As a kid, I grew up dealing with anxiety, depression, chronic pain, an eating disorder and issues with gender identity and sexual orientation. How did I get through it? Monsters. When it first started, the monsters I created were a direct reflection of the pain I was in. I painted skulls, skeletons and monsters with [...]
woman sitting on couch looking at the ceiling

What We Don't Talk About Enough When It Comes to Caring for Loved Ones

For six years I have cared for my son and his multiple medical, educational and other special needs. My days revolved around timing this medication, watching that monitor, or attempting to get his spastic limbs to stretch out a little further. Throw three more children into the mix, and there are days when I take literally no [...]
a woman in a hat looking up in front of water

When Depression Makes You Feel Guilty During Moments of Happiness

Here’s the thing. I am medicated. I am in treatment. I am depressed, (severely, currently.) I am anxious, and I also carry an obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) diagnosis in my back pocket. Stay with me here because I am about to get complicated. Like, mind-blowing complicated. Sometimes my depression isn’t as [...]