To the Significant Other of Someone With Depression


To the significant other of someone with depression,

I know how hard it is for you because it’s hard for me too. I know how helpless you feel, and I see how you struggle to comprehend what’s going on in my mind.

Depression is funny like that. No one really knows how it feels for each person, and it’s so hard to describe. It feels impossible to get the words out to accurately describe the pain and emptiness we feel.

I could be laying in your arms, and I would feel a million miles away from you because I’m so lonely on the inside. I promise you just the fact that you try to help me is more than I could ask for. I can’t thank you enough for trying to understand a mental illness I barely understand myself, and not only understanding it to the best of your ability but trying your best to make me feel better.

You can try all you want, but you can’t cure me. This is not a reflection of who you are or you being a “failure” at being the significant other I need.

This is my battle. Think about a cancer patient. You can support them. You can love them, but you can’t cure them. And that’s OK.

We are working as hard as we can. Sometimes, we feel like giving up. If you want a “job” in this, then support us when we start to fall. Bring us our favorite food or drink and hold us close, and I promise you it’ll mean more than you can understand. Do what you do know how to do. Do what you know makes me feel better. This will not only help me keep fighting, but it’ll also bring us closer.

I love you dearly, and I hope you know how important to me you are. Thank you for sticking by me in this journey I didn’t want to embark on, let alone do by myself.

Sincerely,
Your grateful partner

Image via Thinkstock.

We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor here.


Find this story helpful? Share it with someone you care about.


Related to Depression

portrait of a man looking sad

The Physicality of Depression

Depression is not considered a “physical” disease, but there is a physical aspect to it. That’s why it’s so hard to get out of bed some days and why there is an ache inside you. I want to try to bring a physical idea of this intangible sickness. It feels like there is a dense [...]
sketch of girl in winter clothes standing alone

To the Girl I 'Gave Up on' During Her Battle With Depression

I’m sorry. I really am. The fact is I didn’t know what to do. We both live with severe depression, and my fear was through you seeing my dark days, through me seeing yours and how much you hurt, that at some point I would find I had missed something crucial and had lost you permanently. You want me to be honest? [...]

What ‘Just Keep Swimming’ Means to Me as Someone With Depression

I wanted to share a photo of my new t-shirt with you because it is significant to me and my recovered health. I thought you, a fellow chronic and/or mental health patient, would understand why. The people who don’t understand the battle we have with thyroid problems and/or mental health conditions like depression will think I’m [...]
drawing of woman working on a laptop

10 Confessions of Someone Who Has Depression

This piece was written by Ella Ceron, a Thought Catalog contributor. 1. There’s a difference between sadness and depression, and though that doesn’t take away from a diagnosis, it is empowering as a distinction. Though you may feel depressed, a person who has depression is not always a “depressed person,” in whatever way — hyperbolic or otherwise [...]