Getting Through a Breakup When You Have Mental Illness


Breakups are hard. A breakup when you have a mental illness can feel unbearable. In my experience, you feel almost helpless and can’t find the motivation to put coping mechanisms you’d been working so hard on into action. You wallow, because it doesn’t matter how many people tell you it’ll get easier, you can never believe it. Your heart physically hurts, because you let someone in. You told them your deepest and darkest secrets; you let them into your life with the illness. For them to not want to be with you anymore can make you blame yourself more and more every single day.

You may feel like you’ve hit rock bottom — like you’re slipping, your fingernails clinging onto your last little bit of strength. You’re likely exhausted from endless nights of crying into your pillow and never getting a sufficient amount of sleep. The struggle to get out of bed can be even harder than it already was. But you know what, it’s OK to feel like this. It’s OK to feel bad. You’ve got to grieve your loss; nobody will judge you for taking a bit longer to get over them. Even if they were a massive jerk.

Don’t be afraid to be on your own, because you are a strong individual who has dealt with a lot more than a breakup without them. I do understand though, how you may not want to do it on your own. You don’t want to fight your battle on your own, because they made things so much easier. I understand that, I really do. You’re better than that though. Know deep down you can do this. Know that one day, you’ll wake up and not think about them for a day, and you’ll go to bed and think, “Oh, I haven’t thought about them today.” Then after that, there will be a day when you don’t even have that thought at the end of the day.

You deserve better than someone who doesn’t want to give you the time of day. You deserve the absolute world, and someone will give that to you. Right now, the person who turned around and said “I don’t love you as much as I once did” or “I just don’t see how we can fix things” when you knew exactly how you could fix them but they couldn’t or didn’t want to see it — they may seem like the only person you ever want to be with. But one day, someone may come along who will give you their everything, and you will give them yours. It’ll be so worth it. And in 10 years’ time, you won’t even remember this person’s last name, because they weren’t even half the person you deserve.

You are so strong and beautiful. Do not let a breakup make you feel like you want to give up your own fight. Do not let it get the best of you, because you are so loved and worth so much more than someone who couldn’t see your greatness.

Image via Thinkstock.

We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor here.


Find this story helpful? Share it with someone you care about.


Related to Mental Health

pills with smiley faces on them

When a Health Care Assistant Called My Psychiatric Medicine 'Happy Medications'

About a month ago, I had an encounter with a health care professional while at a consultation for Lasik eye surgery. To begin with, the conversation had a wrong feel to it — he remarked about how I went to a “smart school” and how I cannot see because I have “tiny eyes” — so [...]
two science students working in a lab

What It's Like Having a Mental Illness in a Scientific Field

It’s been a little over four years since I first set foot in a laboratory, and I must say the sciences have somehow always been my saving grace. Research always gave me a place to escape my thoughts and throw myself into something greater than myself. That is, until graduate school got the better of [...]
woman behind glass

Life With Mental Illness: If Only I Knew What I Need

I turn the music up. I turn it down. Turn it off. Turn it on. Change the station. Maybe I should focus on a task. So I set out to clean the house. I don’t know where to start. I roam around armed with cleanser and a towel. Eventually, I just sit on the couch [...]
senior man looking up in dark monochrome image

When You're Told 'You're Not Alone' With Mental Illness, but You Feel Like You Are

I read on The Mighty that “you are not alone.” I see the same message on other mental health websites and publications. And I know this sentence means we are not the only ones with mental illnesses and there are others who face the same struggles. In that sense, neither you nor I are alone. [...]