I remember when I was 11 years old, I was in a car with about five teenagers, and I was squished in the back. They decided to play a loud pop song, despite my sound sensitivity, and despite me begging for them not to. I held my breath and prepared myself for the song, but this time it felt different. I was next to so many people, and it hurt. I was hearing loud noises, and that hurt. I began screaming, they began telling me to be quiet. But I couldn’t stop.
That was my first meltdown. Three months later was my first panic attack. Three years later, we realized what was really causing it.
It hurts, physically, when I experience an overload of senses. But I’m thankful for my sensory issues, and here’s why.
1. It makes me love other senses more. The feeling of jelly bubbles makes me laugh. The color of bright blue makes me smile. I also love soft electronic music, and it gives me some physical, joyful feeling as well.
2. It teaches me patience and strength. It’s hard to go places when there are sounds and movement erupting all around me, but I’m forced to do it daily. That means I get tougher and stronger every day.
3. I can understand others more. I’m not usually good at sympathizing, as I have trouble truly understanding people’s emotions. However, with my sensory issues, I believe I am better able to understand some of the experiences of people I know who have autism spectrum disorder, ADHD/ADD, sensory processing disorder, and sensory-related anxiety. With my sensory issues, I also know a lot about panic attacks and meltdowns. I believe it makes me wiser.
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