To the Woman Who Said She Wouldn’t Date Me Because I’m on the Autism Spectrum

To the woman who wouldn’t date me because I’m on the autism spectrum,

You seemed really genuine and sweet. But then things changed.

I’m not sure I was expecting you to be that cold. When you said you “wouldn’t date someone on the spectrum,” it reminded me that there’s still so much hate and intolerance in the world.

I hope you will learn compassion, because the spectrum is wide, and autism doesn’t define who a person is. They define themselves. They have so many other traits that make them who they are, which is why you should give them a shot. Which is why you should have given me a shot.

I’m funny, smart, and someone who would have treated you with respect. I’ve been dating girls for 10 years now as a 28-year-old man on the autism spectrum. And sure, I may be a little quirky… but at the end of the day, it’s your loss for being so short-sighted. I hope others out there won’t follow your views.

So I ask you this. Please get to know people for who they are next time around. You may be surprised by who you find.

A version of this post originally appeared on

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