Facing the Reality of My Daughter’s Heart Surgery This Year

2017 will be the year for my youngest daughter’s heart surgery. Honestly, I won’t allow myself to think about it much because my mind goes into too much detail. I’m the kind of person who deals with the situation when it’s time, then I tend to repress those emotions because they’re too overwhelming. Fear is not reflective of my faith and can taunt me at times. My fear is “I don’t want my children to suffer in any way.” I would gladly take it for them.

As strong and positive as I try to be, reality hits me in moments. I wonder how my daughter’s life will be in reality, not just in the positive fantasy I try to maintain. Every time she has an appointment with her cardiologist, I hold my breath and my stomach is in knots wondering if the doctor will say it’s time for her inevitable heart surgery.

What I have to remind myself is that after the heart surgery to repair the AV defect she has, it will be a new beginning for her. Her heart and lungs will not have to work as hard. As much as I do not want any of my children to suffer or be in any pain, I have to face the reality of a necessary event for a stronger future for my daughter. In life, we often have to go through the fire to become stronger.

As parents, we see our children fall as they try to walk. We see our children cry when they are afraid or frustrated, but give them comfort while in our arms. We encourage them to keep going and begin again as many times as it takes to accomplish the goal. Not only are we seeing our sweet children grow, but we are growing and learning as much as they are. I know as a mama of a 12-year-old, a 10-year-old, and a 9-month-old, I certainly continue to gain wisdom daily.

Among the fears we might have as parents, I believe we should try not to fear change. Change can mean we are developing, growing and learning. Whether we are facing a new chapter of our lives, seeing a new stage our child is entering, or even facing a new beginning after our child’s heart surgery, I believe we can learn from them and be stronger for it! In my experience, it is never too late to begin again until we accomplish our goals.

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