I'm No Longer Apologizing for Grieving Out Loud
I will let my face leak whenever and where ever I need. I’m not hiding or running from my grief. I live my life pretty loud and proud, and my grief will be no different. Grief sucks, and if I have to hide it, it makes me feel ashamed of it. So I will grieve when I need to.
If you see my face leaking, then know I needed to cry in that moment. I’m not afraid of my tears. I’m scared to hold them in.
While in the grocery store picking out some oranges the other day, I swear I heard my girl behind me. I quickly turned around to see that it wasn’t her, and this moment brought me a flash of happiness and then a crash of devastation. It wasn’t her. I know she has been gone now for almost nine months and she will never be the voice behind me in the produce section, yet for those fleeting seconds, I heard her voice and hoped she was. In that moment I needed to let my face leak.
We are encouraged to share all the joyful things in our life. Why do we have to deal with grief alone? Grief is the form love takes when you lose someone so very special. Having this grief shows we loved so much and so great that the grief hurts this much.
I will no longer apologize for doing what I need to grieve because what I’m doing is not wrong. What I need may be different than what you need, but it is not wrong.
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Thinkstock photo by Yun Yulia
My name is Angela Drake. I am a mother of 2 girls. Sadly, my oldest daughter Brittany lost a very long battle with depression and died by suicide on March 24, 2016. I will continue to be an advocate for mental health and suicide prevention. My youngest daughter Brianna, “Butchie” and I continue to grieve and lean on each other trying to find our way through this very different world without Brittany.
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