Fight-or-Flight Motherhood

Naturally, every creature on earth has a fight-or-flight response. However, when you’re struggling with mental illness, sometimes those wires get a bit crossed.

Right now, I’m currently in the flight stage. I’m staying at home, not doing anything, wearing the same clothes and wishing for a change. I have two daughters, 6 years old and 1-month-old. I stay at home, and the only time I leave the house is to get my 6-year-old to and from the bus stop.

Normally, this isn’t me.

Normally, I’m active. Normally, I’m out trying to meet new people, make connections and trying to show people they’re not alone. However, right now, I don’t have it in me. I’m running from it. I’m even avoiding family events because I just can’t.

And that’s OK.

No matter how much we grow and improve, sometimes, we just have to run away to get to our safe place. When the time is ready to fight, you’ll know. You’ll know because no matter how much you sleep, you’re exhausted. No matter how hard you really trying, nothing is working.

That’s when we need to take a good look in the mirror, and ask ourselves, “What needs to change?” Then, when the answer is clear, even though it’s terrifying, agonizing and everything you have is fighting you, it’s time to fight back. It’s time to stand up and say, “I’m going to get better.” Fight, fast and hard.

Trust yourself. Love yourself. Rest, recharge, realize and fight on.

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