Embracing the Possibilities When Dating as a Man With a Disability


A couple of weeks ago I went to OK Cupid to see if I could find some potential dates. It just happened that my rapier wit led to me getting a reply, but it wasn’t exactly the one I wanted.

The girl complimented my light-hearted sense of humor, but then said we shouldn’t communicate further because “our lifestyles didn’t match.” I was hurt immediately. It stung more than most rejections, and I knew why it hurt so much. It seemed clear to me that this lady didn’t want to go out with me because I am in a wheelchair. However, if this is so often the case, then why am I so addicted to flirting and women and love to begin with?

A lot of disabled people live in fear. We fear not being accepted because of how we look, how we walk and how we talk. I made a vow to myself that I would not live in this black cave called “fear” and I would instead embrace the art of chance. I aim to be, by choice, the biggest flirt and most transparent man on the planet. I believe love shouldn’t be a game of mystery and chase where a person has to play “hard to get.”An individual should be able to tell another individual they like them, because at the end of the day, pure unadulterated honesty is the best  way to help someone truly believe it.

Of course, this is my approach and it isn’t shared by everyone. If you’re disabled and you have your own specific way of attracting the opposite sex, I would advise you to do that. Still, if you’re too scared to embrace the possibility that you might fall in love because you think
your disability makes you weaker, I believe you’re doing yourself a disservice. Everyone deserves to experience the pure energetic joy of falling in love.

I guess you can say women are my greatest joy. I love the way they can empathize with you, I love the joyous giggles when you make them laugh, and most importantly I love the female friends who have accepted me for who I am and embraced me. That’s what keeps me being the flirty, talkative individual I am, even though some girls may be too scared to date me because I am disabled. I have accepted that as an ugly reality, but it hasn’t deterred me from trying and it never will.

So in conclusion, what happens if “lifestyles don’t match.” Are you going to let that destroy your ambition to succeed, your hopes and dreams to fall in love? Sure we disabled people may live a more difficult life than others, but when we teach people who are ignorant of our struggles, we can triumph. Additionally, if my wife happens to be disabled, then we shall be bonded by shared experiences. Either way, I know love is out there for me. To the woman who rejected me over the internet so unkindly, please understand your ignorance is your loss.

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