Having a very visible disability like cerebral palsy, I often notice that people make assumptions about me because I walk differently and I use a walker to get around. Throughout life I have been labeled everything from “charity case” to “crippled” as well as given personality traits and physical limitations by people who don’t even take the time to get to know what is beyond my disability. Here are some things I want everyone to know about my life with cerebral palsy.
1. Do not limit me.
Since I have a disability that challenges me physically, people are often quick to limit my abilities. My disability does not mean I do not have the ability to do things, but my abilities may just be a little bit different. I know what I can do and what I cannot, which means that what I decide to do is up to me. Please do not automatically rule me out on participating in various activities or assume I cannot do things the average person my age does. I can actually do the majority of things others have assumed I cannot do. I may have to walk a bit slower or take some respites, but I will find a way to do what I want to do. There is no reason to give me limits.
2. I am just like you.
Having cerebral palsy does not make me that different from people who do not have cerebral palsy. Yes, I use a walker and my gait looks different than yours, but aside from that I am exactly the same as you. In fact, 90 percent of the time I forget I even have a disability because that is how “normal” my life is. I am a full-time college student, I have had jobs, I go to yoga, I like to listen to music and dance. I go on walks with my dog, I am in a sorority, I have friends, I get stressed about the same things everyone else gets stressed about at my age, I drive myself everywhere and I am incredibly independent. So just because the way I walk may not look the same as the way you walk, it doesn’t mean I am different from everyone else. If you take that small physical component away, you can see me for who I am — a human being.
3. Don’t feel sorry for me.
If I had a dime for every time I heard a stranger tell me something like, “Good for you getting out of the house while you are dealing with all of this,” I would definitely be sitting on a nice sum of money. While I have overcome a large amount of challenges, my life has never been a sob story and it should never be seen that way. I am happy and have always been. If people think they need to feel sorry for me because of the way my life is, I actually feel sorry for them. My life is nothing short of spectacular, and having a condition does not alter that. Yes, there have been bad days and several challenges, but what person doesn’t have a bad day or a challenge once in a while? If challenges I have overcome can inspire or motivate people, then I am happy to hear that. However, my life should never make people feel sad or sorry for me. I have the best life I could have ever asked for, and no one needs to apologize to me for it.
4. My disability does not define me.
Cerebral palsy is obviously a part of me and my life, but it does not define who I am and I will never allow it to do so. Cerebral palsy has had an impact on my life in many ways, both negative and positive. However, it is not a label I should be permanently branded with for the rest of my existence. I am not defined by my disability, just like I am not defined by the color of my hair. I am defined by my interests, the things I like to do, and the little things that make me tick. So think before labeling me with terms such as “crippled,” “disabled,” or “handicapped,” because I am much more than those things and I will not let them define me as a person.
We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor here.
Image via Thinkstock.