To the Man Who Brought Me Stim Tools on Our Second Date


On our first date, I awkwardly tossed my stim tool in the air and told you what it was. I’d just bought it from Stimatstic and was very excited. During all of the excitement of a first date and having a new stim tool, I somehow lost the tool. Perhaps by the waterfall under the moonlight, or maybe it slipped out of my pocked in the restaurant; I’m not sure.

I sent you a text the next day, telling you I lost the squishy little beanbag. You expressed that you were sorry it happened and tried to help me figure out where I may have lost it. A few days passed and I didn’t see you because you were away for work. I was excited for our second date, though.

Little did I know what you were preparing for me before our second date — a little pouch filled with items of which I could stim. Some cat hair from your beautiful long-haired cat, oddly bunched up and ready for feeling; some string; a necklace with tiny jingle balls on it; and three gorgeous stones. I was blown away by your thoughtfulness!

What made this even more special was that the outstanding gesture came from a neurotypical man. Let’s get this straight, though — in no other way are you typical. If more of society knew what you seemed to know (or perhaps you did some research after you met me) about stimming, we’d be a lot closer to a more aware and caring society. Stimming is important for many people on the autism spectrum. Thank you so much for showing me that you were accepting a big part of who I am. You are indeed very special.

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Thinkstock image by ElenaMichaylova

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