A Poem for a Loved One With Borderline Personality Disorder

Dear darling,

I know deep inside

you may think of yourself

in black and white

and you may judge yourself


You call yourself

hostile names,

and you may believe

too much bad

of your mind and heart.

Sometimes you may think

you’re undeserving of love,

because you feel awful

and difficult and strange.

You may give yourself

a million excuses

to explain why

the world, your friends,

and family

are too gentle with you.

But darling,

let me tell you

how I see you.

I understand the need

to berate yourself,

but let me share a secret:

nobody is perfect.

And I’ve learned to see

that living between

my black and white,

my good and bad,

are so many shades of gray,

and a myriad of colors.

Every time you smile,

and every time you give

of yourself,

it makes you

who you are,

which is perfectly imperfect

and strikingly attractive

in its very own way.


Dear darling,

Don’t call yourself

those nasty names.

I don’t believe

you’re terrible,

and I am sorry

you feel that way,

about yourself.

We are all comprised

of black and white

and good and bad.

Instead of placing

your primary focus

on blaming yourself

and roller-coaster guilt-trips,

look me in the eye,

and I will tell you

again and again,

how beautiful,

inspiring and strong

your heart is.

Yes, including those

ups and downs.

And maybe,

just maybe,

because of it.

Dear darling,

You’re perfectly imperfect.

We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor here.

Thinkstock photo by gpointstudio

Find this story helpful? Share it with someone you care about.

Related to Borderline Personality Disorder

illustration of a woman with long dark curly hair

I'm the One Who Feels Deeply

Naked – stripped off of all the defensive layers. Raw – sensitive thoughts and emotions. Eruptive – with wavering identity and courage! That’s what I am – a girl fighting borderline! It’s hard – not to stop, not to think, not to feel, not to be afraid of myself and everyone else. It’s hard – [...]
Contributor Sarah and her mother

How It Felt to Lose My Mother to Suicide and Borderline Personality Disorder

Editor’s note: If you experience suicidal thoughts or have lost someone to suicide, the following post could be potentially triggering. You can contact the Crisis Text Line by texting “START” to 741-741 Six months after my mom’s suicide, there is still a 12-pound lasagna she made in my freezer  and I can’t will myself to [...]
Valentines day hearts on wooden background

To My Husband Who Supports Me in My BPD Recovery

Dear Husband, This letter is for you. A letter of thanks but also apologies. Living with my mental health issues is at time unbearable, but trying to love someone who has them, well, I don’t know how you do it. I know you feel a huge pressure to provide for me and our little boy. [...]
teen girl covering her ears

What My Life Is Like as a Teen With Borderline Personality Disorder

What does it feel like to me to live with borderline personality disorder? It feels like constant rejection. It feels like constant uncertainty and unfamiliarity. It feels like dying even when it wasn’t my fault. It includes relationship instability because I’m afraid of everything, and that includes intimacy. It includes harming myself in various ways because my [...]