For some people who live with a mental illness, there’s this fear of being “too much.” Like you need too much support, too much help or have too many needs. Sometimes this fear stems from being in an unsupportive environment; sometimes it comes from our perception of ourselves, as if reaching out to someone — even for the smallest thing — will make us a burden, will make us too much.
We want you to know you are never too much.
Everyone deserves support, and everyone deserves to feel the emotions they feel — no matter how big or how small they are.
We asked people in our community to share one thing they would want to tell someone with a mental illness who feels like they’re “too much.”
Here’s what they shared with us:
1. “You have so much value. Your ‘too much’ is actually just your amazingness overflowing. You are loved by those who deserve to love you. Those who don’t, aren’t worthy of you.” — Abbey T.
2. “Things happen that are out of your control, and sometimes this relates to mental health as well. Never feel like you’re too much, sometimes you need extra support from a parent, guardian or friend. No one chooses this, it just happens. Accept yourself for who you are.” — Cara H.
3. “Sometimes it’s not about you being ‘too much’ — sometimes it’s about the people around us being ‘too little.’ Little understanding, little empathy, little support… but for every ‘too little’ person there’s always going to be at least one ‘just fine’ person. Fine with your mental illness, fine with understanding you, fine with helping you, fine with supporting you. Fine people are out there so don’t think of yourself as too much!” — Yazmin B.
4. “I always remind myself and others feeling this way that your space in this world is not conditional. You do not have to shrink yourself or cut parts of yourself off to fit into a box you feel you ‘should’ be in, whether it’s your illness or other people that are making you feel that way. Recovery is only possible by allowing yourself to be everything that you are, to feel everything that you need to feel. You are entitled to take up space, you are allowed to feel the way you feel, you are allowed to ask for help.” — Charlotte M.
5. “You are absolutely worthy of happiness, kindness and life itself. Your illness is lying to you by making you think you are too much, because you are loved and wanted by so many.” — Megan E.
6. “You’re worth it… On your worst days I am here if you need a shoulder. This is something I would like to hear now.” — Kim W.
7. “It’s OK to have good and bad days… I will be there for them no matter what. I will be their light in the darkness.” — Katie W.
8. “You are never too much. You’re just right for me and everyone who loves you.” — Kassy P.
9. “I constantly feel like I am too much. I take everything to heart. I feel everything. I read too much into every single thing. I analyze everything, then overanalyze it again until I become ill. I wish my friends would tell me they appreciate me, that they appreciate having someone who cares that much. That it’s OK that I worry.” — Annie T.
10. “You are just enough. Never too much, never too little: just the right amount you are.” — Schelley K.
11. “You are not alone in your feelings.” — Trish L.
12. “You may be too much for some people. That’s OK. Find those who crave your intensity, who love your ‘muchness,’ who encourage every bit of your wild heart to escape, to shine, to explore. The ones worth knowing will love every part of you: the darkness and the light, the ups and the downs. Let your ‘too much’ be your fuel, not your downfall.” — Alicia T.