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When a Doctor Saw My Husband's Limb Difference and Judged My Pregnancy

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When I first found out I was pregnant and went to the doctor, we did the usual testing to confirm. My husband George and I sat down in the room and waited for the results. Moments later we found out that we were pregnant. We were over the moon excited! Unfortunately, our excitement was trampled on a few minutes later.

The doctor took one look at my husband and then back at me. He started asking if George was born “like that,” or did he have an accident. We shared how he was born without arms by chance; there was no known cause. It’s simply something that happened at random.
The doctor looked back at me and said, “Mom, just know if you don’t want this pregnancy it is your choice.” He looked over at George and said, “You don’t have a choice in this.”

You can imagine how horror-struck we were by the doctor’s words. I married a man born without arms! I loved him just the way he was. This doctor was trying to convince me that having an abortion would be best because the results may not be “ideal.”

From that day on in my chart it said “possible abortion.” What? I never said anything about abortion. I never asked about it. Nothing. Every doctor we saw afterwards, (we obviously switched immediately) was tip-toeing around us, thinking this was something we were considering.

It hurts my heart that our doctor was so adamant about us considering an abortion, and we were married, happy, excited to be pregnant. I wasn’t in an abusive situation. It wasn’t life or death. It was just his judgment about the slight chance that this baby could be born “imperfect.”

As I write this in tears, I just wanted you to hear a bit of my heart and know my experience. Our son Landon is a very healthy and happy little boy. If I had been easily convinced of the “risks” and terminated, I wouldn’t have the full joy of being the Mama I am today.

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Originally published: April 10, 2017
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