Please Don't Remind Me That I'm in Pain


In the last few months I have noticed something.

I know that it comes from a place of love, but please bear with me.

You see, it really does bother me when I’m asked, “How’s your pain today?” I’m always going to be in pain and it is not going to go away.

Like I said, I know it comes from concern and caring. However when I’m working on getting through the day, I don’t want that reminder. Maybe I’ve just managed to put it to the back of my mind and this brought it back out. Or, perhaps I am already concentrating on my pain but trying not to complain because I don’t want to seem like I’m whining.

Instead of asking this question, ask me something else.

You can ask, “Do you want some help?” If I’m doing something, I may welcome this.

Or, “Do you want to take a break?” This would help me not feel lazy if I need to rest.

Questions like this don’t make me feel like I’m a patient. I want support and assistance. Reminding me that I’m in pain doesn’t do this nearly as well as a hug or saying, “I can help if you need me to,” “Go take a break, you’ve done a lot,” or just “I understand.”

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