When You Can't Get Out of Bed Because of Your Depression

It’s 7:30 a.m. and you have to be at work in a half hour; this is the fourth alarm that has gone off, and you still aren’t even close to moving your body out of your bed. So, you push snooze for the fourth time and you roll back over.

It’s 7:45 a.m. and there’s that pesky alarm again. This time you just turn it off and go right back to sleep.

It’s 11:25 a.m. You just woke up for the day and you know you’re not getting out of bed for at least another hour or two … maybe.

It’s 2:45 p.m. and you still haven’t gotten up. You have a meeting with your academic advisor in another 45 minutes, so you push yourself out of the bed that has held you hostage so many times before, and put yourself together. It takes extra long but you finally get dressed.

It’s 3:15 p.m. and you still haven’t left the house, so you have a panic attack and you end up not leaving the house. You talk to your roommate, your mom, your other roommate, but nothing seems to comfort you. You feel like a failure who is going to fail out of school and be fired for never getting out of that goddamn bed.

It’s 9:45 p.m. and you are finally hungry, so you decide to go into the kitchen and eat something.

It’s 11:25 p.m. and you are trying not to think about what a failure you feel you are, but those thoughts tend to creep up on you until they have taken over and suffocate any good thought you have.

It’s 1:56 a.m. and you are still not asleep; those pesky thoughts are of course there.

It’s 3:39 a.m. and you finally drift off to sleep, hoping that tomorrow is not going to be like today.

With love,

Addie

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Unsplash photo via David Cohen