Having Depression With No Support System


I’ve had depression for almost five years now, and every single time I have a “bad mental health day,” it seems as if it’s gotten worse throughout the years and prolongs for a longer period of time. The feeling has almost become too familiar, and it’s times like these when I would long and wish for support — from friends, family, anyone really who can tell me it’s OK and that I will get through these difficult periods in my life.

The downside is, there usually is no one. Throughout the progression of my illness, without even realizing it, I’ve pushed many people away including those who were closest to me. I lived in my own little bubble, and sometimes it feels like everyone else is moving on when I’m just stuck in the same place I’ve been in for years. This is the debilitating part of depression — it makes you feel even more alone than you already are. During my bad days, I would lay in bed and cry all day without anyone realizing what I’d been doing. I would hide rather than confront, and when I felt better, I would try and run away from depression as though it wouldn’t catch me. Downside is, it almost always does, and the bad days do come back.

It’s hard with no one there because I can only rely on myself to push myself up. I would encourage myself to keep going and tell myself it is the depression making me feel this way. Really, I could only listen to myself for so long before I’d stop believing it.

Like the tide, the feeling comes and goes. Going through adversity on my own has enabled me to become more resilient with the things life throws at me. I’ve learned not to rely on others for inner fulfillment but rather find the strength inside me to overcome challenges. It’s a tough battle every day living with depression. It’s a hidden illness where many people don’t realize how much you’re in pain. I often draw on faith and “higher powers” to help me get through a mildly bad day with the thought that it will someday pass.

I think those with mental illnesses, including myself, are highly undervalued. People underestimate what we go through internally every minute of every day. It’s important to remember that to get to the place where you are now, it has taken sacrifice, strength, motivation, and resilience. What may seem like a giant step to you may seem like a small step for everyone else, but celebrate it anyway. For me, I take comfort in the fact that I have already gone through so much because it makes every challenge I go through now not feel as hard.

We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor here.

Thinkstock photo by isaxar


Find this story helpful? Share it with someone you care about.


Related to Depression

hollie dog

How My Dog Saves Me From Depression and Anxiety Every Day

I have a dog that never stops smiling. Anyone who says dogs don’t smile has never met Hollie. She always has her mouth open, tongue lolling out to the side and her head tilted. Her smile is undeniable. Hollie is my baby. She looks to me for reassurance, comfort and confirmation that yes, she really [...]
whimsical in blue, Painting done by photographer

When Depression Makes You Feel Like the Least Liked Person in Your Friend Group

During my teen angsty phase, my mother used to threaten me with the golden rule. “Your friends will treat you exactly the way you treat your family” — she meant meanly, sarcastically and badly. And as I grew up, every time I felt ostracized in a friend circle, I took it to be due to [...]
pills of different shapes and sizes

I Am Young, Medicated and Proud

I am 18 years old, I am medicated and I am proud. For me being medicated is a sign of strength. It means admitting I need help, something that’s not at all easy to do. It means I’ve gotten myself into that doctor’s office, despite my mind screaming at me to stay in bed, and [...]
Four women sitting in chairs in a circle during a group therapy session

Why I'm Not Embarrassed to Go to Therapy

One of my co-workers lives in the building that houses my therapist’s office. I’ve run into him there a couple of times, saying a quick hello on my way in or out. He came up to me at work recently and asked if I lived in the building. When I told him no, my therapist’s [...]