I Am Bitter About My Illness Today, and That's OK


Here’s the thing about chronic illnesses: you can’t ignore them, but you can’t let them consume you. It’s hard to find the balance between pretending you’re not sick (and not taking care of yourself) and thinking all you are is your illness.

In the past, I’ve tried to find a daily balance between accepting my limitations and still doing everything in my power to lead a “normal” life. Sometimes though, my health doesn’t allow me to do much of anything to lead that faux-healthy life.

 

Lately, I’ve been pushing through the dislocations from my EDS and the fainting spells from my POTS to keep up with life, but today I just can’t keep up. I feel so defeated and sorry for myself. Yet I am angry and bitter with myself for even feeling that way.

This is something I struggle with from time to time, but I now remember something someone once told me – I need to let myself feel my emotions. Let them wash over me, without consuming me. So here I am, acknowledging that I am bitter today and that’s OK.

Tomorrow is a new day.

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Thinkstock photo via ChooStudio.


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