How My Mental Health Conditions Make Me a Modern-Day Mary Poppins

The title sounds funny, but the back story involves years of torture for me.

Hello, I’m Jane and I have eight mental health disorders. A lot, I know, right? But each of them were diagnosed by mental health professionals in a small therapy room over the course of six years.

Well anyway, I’m the 21st century Mary Poppins. I have to carry everything with me. I’m serious: screwdrivers, first aid kit(s) and even an apple peeler. You name it, and I bet you I have it in my bag…  Now, hearing that statement, it sounds like I am either Mary Poppins herself or a girl’s BFF on a night out.

How I came to carry everything with me stems from different reasons related to my anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorder, which bring on my “prep-er” type of behavior. I’ve been this way since childhood, feeling as if I had to be prepared for the worst to prevent the worst. This has always been exhausting because I can’t leave my house without my bag (that is the weight of a 9-month-old baby).

This causes so much distress because I shouldn’t live this way but feel like I have to. I can’t tell you why, but I do.

I’m that person — the prepared one, the thank-God-you-were-around one, the where-is-she-I-need-her one. I’m the one who makes other people’s lives easier while making mine harder.

I was asked the other day, “Is this your way of making friends?” I didn’t want to say, “No, it’s because if I don’t carry all this, I will die” or some other scenario my mind will create. I haven’t heard of other people with this problem as of yet, but if someone is in the same boat as me and wants to feel “normal” or understood, I hope you found comfort in my story.

I hope my future posts will help at least one person out.

You’re not alone.

We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor here.

Photo via Facebook – Mary Poppins

Find this story helpful? Share it with someone you care about.

Related to Mental Health

A woman covers her face with her hands

We Need to Address the Mental Health Effects of 'Adult Bullying'

This is a really difficult article for me to write, but I feel it’s importance is so necessary that any emotional pain or triggering thoughts experienced through writing this are completely worth the message it could possibly send. That is, adult bullying is a serious issue that needs to be addressed. First I will start [...]
A woman closing her eyes and smiling, tossing her hair

I Want to Hear What Makes You a Mental Health Warrior

My name is Jasmin and I run the page “A Fight Worth Finishing” on Facebook. The Mighty and I are collaborating to bring you the hashtag campaign #IAmAWarriorBecause. I want you to use this hashtag and tell me why your depression, anxiety or previous suicide attempt makes you a warrior! You can even create a picture [...]
pictures of people. text reads: 31 days of voices

The 'Mighty' Way We're Celebrating Mental Health Awareness Month

When I was tasked to come up with what The Mighty would do for Mental Health Awareness Month this May, to be honest, I went into the brainstorming process pretty cynically. Every month is mental health awareness month for people in the “mental health world,” and I didn’t want to create a campaign just to create [...]

To My Boyfriend Who Is My Rock Through My Mental Illness

I believe anybody is extremely lucky if their partner is also their best friend, but I also believe it takes a special person to be a rock to someone with a mental illness. To my boyfriend: You are patient, you are understanding, you are kind, you are considerate, you are amazing and I couldn’t do [...]