Why I Started to Live Outside Life's 'Safe Zone' Because of Lupus

Before I was diagnosed with lupus I always played life in the safe zone. It didn’t really change much after I was diagnosed – until I had a flare that I thought was going to be the end of me. I swore to myself that if I recovered I was going to make the most out of my life and squeeze every bit of enjoyment out of my good days when I had them….And boy, have I ever stayed true to that.

From entering a competition and winning a holiday to Tasmania to picking up a hitchhiker while we were there. Something I had always been tempted to do, but never brave enough to do just in case they were a crazed axe-murderer.  He was a lovely Vietnamese gentleman who was hitchhiking and backpacking his way around Australia.) I even booked a spur of the moment overseas holiday.

My poor husband was always suggesting things like that. I was always saying no, just in case an unexpected bill came up or something happened. We’d better save the money. Always sticking to the safe zone. After that flare, he’s learnt if he suggests something now he better mean it. He suggested the trip to Thailand on a whim and I had flights and accommodation booked within an hour. To say he was surprised is an understatement!

I like to think it’s all thanks to lupus. If I didn’t have lupus, if I hadn’t had such a big scare, I’d still be living my life in the safe zone. And missing out on so much.

I was also hesitant to speak up for myself and worried about what people thought. Nowadays I have learnt to say no and not worry if someone has a problem with it. I’ve accepted I can no longer push myself the way I used to. If that upsets someone that’s their problem to deal with, not mine. I have put my family and I first and am doing everything to chase my dreams on the good days and doing everything I can to survive and minimize the bad days.

I have to put my family and I first and am doing everything to chase my dreams on the good days and doing everything I can to survive and minimize the bad days.

So I like to find the positives in my illness and I thank lupus for the joy it has given me.

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