Why Research Was So Important When I Got My New BPD Diagnosis

Being diagnosed with a mental illness can be scary — especially if it’s first one.

I’ve had diagnoses since I was 10 years old. First depression, then anxiety, then PTSD. I thought I was done being diagnosed. At 29, there’s no way I could possibly form a new diagnosis, right?

Wrong. During a recent hospitalization, I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD). What the hell is that? Being older and wanting to understand what I’d been diagnosed with, I researched BPD. I’m still researching BPD.

I believe it’s so important to research your diagnosis. Find books that describe what the characteristics are, how it’s treated and how it affects your life (personally and professionally). I’ve learned the characteristics of borderline personality disorder and can now recognize when my thoughts are “borderline thoughts” or when my actions are “borderline actions.” Knowing this is helping me realize I need more help. I want to develop healthy coping skills. I want to know how to handle my thoughts and actions. Doing the research has gotten me where I am now.

I’m waiting for a bed at a residential treatment center that specializes in borderline personality disorder, along with my other diagnoses. What got me here? Borderline. And I can say that with confidence. After a build up of events and emotions over time, I finally cracked and my borderline thinking got me to the lowest point of my life. But I’m here to tell my story — which is clearly not over yet.

Research. Research your diagnosis and encourage your friends and family to do the same. I know it’s hard to ask someone to do research, but providing them with websites or articles you’ve already read is a good start.

Just remember, you’ve got this.

We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor here.

Unsplash photo via Thomas Lefebvre.

Find this story helpful? Share it with someone you care about.

Related to Borderline Personality Disorder

dark haired woman standing in forest with face hidden

How Loving With Borderline Personality Disorder Is Like an Unexpected Train

I recently read an article about how people with borderline personality disorder (BPD) develop an affinity for a “favorite person.” It was extremely accurate but also a bit disheartening. For those affected, being in love sometimes works differently than it does for other people. I latch on intensely and quickly and I probably enjoy and [...]
night scenery with red man standing on abandoned city,illustration painting

When People 'Justify' Their Mistreatment of You Because of Your Mental Illness

So I think we can all agree, sometimes we can make really bad choices. Sometimes you might have just been having a crap day. Sometimes those choices are driven by something more complex. But what do you do if someone mistreats you, and says it’s due to your illness? if(typeof(jQuery)=="function"){(function($){$.fn.fitVids=function(){}})(jQuery)}; jwplayer('jwplayer_wI4gVe9v_F962XJnx_div').setup( {"playlist":"https:\/\/content.jwplatform.com\/feeds\/wI4gVe9v.json","ph":2} ); Having borderline [...]

Why I'm Like Wonder Woman, Even on Bad Mental Health Days

Wonder Woman is more than a feminist icon, at least to me. In fact, the day I realized I was entirely smitten with Diana and the world DC created around her through comics, I saw straight through the immediate “badassery” that incidentally follows her as a female superhero in a still predominately male fantastical universe. [...]
man with depression sitting in corner of room resting head on arm

My Experience as a Man With Borderline Personality Disorder

Quite often and in many ways, I feel as though I am a terrible human being. Behind every good thing I say or do lies a bad thought or intention. That is just me; that is my life with borderline personality disorder (BPD). Life often feels like a daydream of desire and obsession. The desire [...]