The Day I Showed Off My Scars and Insecurities in a Bikini


Ever since my colorectal surgeries in 2015 due to FAP (familial adenomatous polyposis), I’ve worn two big scars on my tummy that are pretty visible. I’m comfortable with them and see them as what I’ve overcome, but I still am self-conscious about them.

woman in a bikini standing on the beach and laughing

This photo is from a recent holiday. I wore a bikini for the first time that showed part of my scar and I was so proud of myself for taking that step and feeling a little more confident with my body post-surgery.

Not only does this photo reveal my scar, I also revealed my portacath and scar from that being put in place, as well as my chemo curled short hair. All in all, three parts of myself that have been hard for me to get used to, but that I’m slowly making peace with.

This photo makes me realize that I’m not the perfect picture of health, yet I’m still living life, traveling and enjoying myself.

My advice to others facing scars or losing your hair due to treatment is to do what you feel comfortable with and at your own pace, but know that in my experience, setting free my insecurities was a very liberating feeling. Also know that it took me over two years to wear a bikini post-surgery.

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