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What I Learned Within One Year of My First Lupus Flare


One year ago today was the last day I felt “normal.” The last day that I remember not having anxiety over pain. The last day I remember waking up with out swelling or stiffness. The last day I had energy and felt like I could just be myself. The last day before lupus took over my life.

A few things that I have learned this year:

1. Lupus does not have total control. I say this because I have a lot of control with medications and my actions. I will not let it control me.

2. I cannot feel guilty for my illness. Yes I call of work, yes I cancel plans. But it’s not out of vindication. It’s because I need to take care of myself.

3. I have learned to accept help. I was too proud in the beginning. I have learned to let others help.

4. I will not let my disabilities ruin my fun with my family and work.

5. I might be in pain, but I realize I don’t have to be a pain. I was so angry for so long, I made others not want to be around me.

I realized, more than anything, who is really there for me through it all. There are a few different types of people I have gone through since my diagnosis:

1. The truly sympathetic and understanding.

2. The ones that use you to make themselves either feel better or to “self-diagnose.”

3. The ones that don’t have enough time to deal with your illness.

It’s amazing what you will see, but I promise that the right people will stay there for you and help you in every way possible.

My photo posted is my before and after from lupus. I have changed quite a bit, but my strength has grown. Now the mission is to keep moving, pray for a cure, and live to the fullest. To all of my fellow “Lupies,” I’m praying for you.

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Thinkstock Image By: ARTQU