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The Pain of Loneliness When You Live With Depression


It is often said that there is a difference between being alone and being lonely, and I can say from experience this it is most definitely true. Being alone, one can still be in a state of contentment or joy, it is just that – being alone. You can be alone and perfectly enjoy your own company.

Loneliness, on the other hand, is painful. It is so painful and can leave such an ache and longing in your heart. Loneliness can occur whether or not you are alone and sometimes is more painful when you are surrounded by people yet still lonely.

Loneliness is a sense of not belonging, not being accepted, not receiving love as expected and for me, loneliness is not having a safe space to talk freely with anyone. For me, it’s having to keep the tangled thoughts of my mind tangled because I have no one to share them with. It’s having all this love to give and no one to give it to. It’s longing for someone to understand, someone to see past the façade to the real me.

As a Christian, my faith teaches me that God is always with us and that we are never alone and I do truly believe this. There have been times when I am crushed and physically in pain due to loneliness but the thought that God is with me is so comforting. However, I do believe that God made us to commune with other human beings. He made us with a longing to be accepted for who we are, to be loved and cared for, to be understood. It is because of this that we crave connection with people. It’s something that’s within us already — an innate feeling.

When we do not get the connection in the way we desire (not just speaking in terms of romantic relationships) it can be so painful. There have been times I can feel so lonely that my body begins to ache, I yearn for someone to understand — someone to talk to.

The pain of loneliness is an emptiness, a heaviness and totally isolating.

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Thinkstock photo via Rively